Do you 'train' your kids to be dry at night...instinct says no but DH says yes...thoughts?

[robin3]

DH suddenly got it in to his head that DS1 (nearly 4) should be trained to be dry at night. Bizarrely it's the only milestone he's ever expressed an opinion about but maybe that's because he thinks I've forgotten one of my Mummy duties!!

Most mornings DS1 wakes up with a wet nappy and we've just moved him to dry night pants. I get DH's point of view on the environmental impact of using disposables but my question is am I waiting for DS1 to consistently wake up dry or should I be training this in some way?

Olihan, its the same hormone that controls day and night time bladder control. This can definately be affected if children sleep with lights/ TV/ computer on in the bedroom.

Yes, it still upsets me at times, which is why I am determined not to put my dd through that. She also used a buzzer alarm which was so loud that it used to make me wee even more than the dribble that set it off! It was a wire mesh under a towel and was very uncomfortable.

No I wouldn't deny the bedtime small amount of milk. Just try to make sure he has plenty during the day.

I had one who was dry at night before daytime and never wet the bed except twice in his life.

Then my DD came along and was a shock after the ease of DS.

SHe was dry at 2.4 during the day but it took another 2 years for her to be dry during the night. She used to be dry for about 3 weeks then would start wetting the bed again and it was until she was 4 that she was dry at night continuously. Tried leaving nappies off but we ended up with wet beds everynight.

My friend at school had 3 sisters and all 4 of them were wetting the bed until their teens and had to have the alarms Tori describes, so I am sure their is a genetic connection.
Lifting doesn't train the bladder because the child never learns to recognise that it's full.
and reducing liquids makes the urine stronger which can irritate the bladder making them want to go to the toilet more.

One thng I would say, never ever let them know that you are annoyed with them for wetting the bed
Counter productive i reckon.

Other than that just go for it-- my dd always wet her nappies but after 2 weeks in pyjamas never wet the bed once.

I did take her for an eleven oclock pee for a couple of months but after that we've been fine.

Good luck

No. I couldn't be bothered with all that carrying them to the toilet stuff. DD announced just after she turned four that she didn't want to wear nappies at night anymore I said ok as her nappies had been dry in the morning for a while. She's been nappyless and dry at nights ever since and goes to the toilet by herself of a night if she needs to go.

DS just became dry, somewhere between 2 and 3. Really nothing to do with me. DD is sometimes dry at night but she's having pull-ups for a while yet (she's just 2).

Hi Minorityrules,
Do you have boy/s as well as girl/s.
I think boys have a tougher time of it.
As regards Drynites. Believe me I am the last person to want to give Pampers even more profit, but if they weren't there he'd still be in nappies at night. He gets really upset if he wakes up wet and while it happens every night I'm not prepared to put him through that.
Having said that, I totally agree with your drinks routine, we do a very similar thing in our house - but still he wets!!

yes boys and girls, son was dry at night at about 4. I know boys are harder but as I said, my daughter has mobility problems (can't get to the loo unaided, needs help to use a commode and doesn't feel the signals to pee al of the time, ad is so knackered at night that she could sleep through the house falling down) So I understand hard and difficult cases

I'm only given the advice we were given, it really was easy advice, nothing major to do

I truly believe that pampers are making the problem worse

Lots have people on here have said their kids were fine as soon as they were out of drynights/nappies

I was a bedwetter up to 9 as were my siblings, we were an oddity then. Nowadays, so many kids take longer to get dry at night, and I (and my eneurisis nurse) put the blame at pampers door. They totally confuse the brain

My DD is 7 and has never had a dry night. At the moment she is seeing a paeditrician at the hospital for this and she has been on desmopressin for a month. But it hasn't had any effect and she is so disappointed. Does anyone know much about this drug as I can't seem to get any definitive info on it. I tell her that her bladder just needs to grow up like the rest of her but she's an age now where it is becomimg an embarrassment to her. I just hope that soemthing will "click" soon.

nope - took dd1 a year to be dry at night
wasn/s't a biggie

If your DH thinks you can train kids to be dry at night, let him do it!

Hi again minority rules,
Sorry to go on but, I only started using drynites about a year ago. before that he'd been in and out of nappies. Taking him out of nappies just hasn't worked. He just wets the bed every night or he'll go a few days and then start wetting again - no logic in it. I completely agree with the logic in what you're saying but it hasn't worked in our case. The other thing is that last year we had a good run of about 6 weeks when he was dry most nights. He was then ill on and off for about a month and he started to wet the bed again. Such a long story. that's the last I'm going to say on the matter although maybe I might try ditching the drynites again and see what happens. I'll keep you posted!

Erm

You can train a child to be dry at night.

There is a contraption which you put under their sheet and when it gets wet it makes a buzzing sound that wakes the child and they quickly learn to wake-up due to their full bladder.

I know this for a fact becuase my mum did this to me many moons ago. Bar vast quantities of alcohol I've been dry ever since.

She found out about it from school and I was in my primary years.

Don't know if they still do it but it worked very quickly and with minimal fuss.

I didn't think about it with 2 of mine, and they came out of nappies at the same time in the night as the day. We didn't have any problems at all.

With my 3rd, I delayed, and it took ages to get her dry at night.

I do wonder whether it's easier just to do it all at once when training them during the day - I'll do this with my 4th (that said, I waited until they were absolutely ready during the day - no bribes/rewards etc necessary and all were dry in 3 days).

Just want to ask minority rules a question having read all her comments to dry nights nappies. DS is 6 and has only ever had 2 dry nights in his life. We have tried more drinks during the day, Hpynosis CD's at night and like you said no Dry nights to no avail. Should i just not out the dry nights on, even when he wakes up wet it dose not nother him. I so want him to be dry next may and june he will go on his first Beaver camp and first night way with the school and I don't want him to be in dry nights or wet then. Any suggestions? Also very quickly he was a prem babie of 28 weeks my mum thinks this might have some bearing on it don't know my self all his friends that were prem as well have no problems. Thanks

Booradley - I think you can get those devices still, normally after a referral from your GP. Most GPs won't consider bedwetting a problem for referral until the child is 7 though.

minorityrules - none of those things worked for us.

Some children will be later, it is how it has always been

Just passing on advice that worked for us

We had a good few months with soaking wet bed/bedding. I bought a comfortable (plastic one side, sheet on other) mattress cover, 3 cheap thin duvets (that fitted in the washing machine) so we had one on, one drying and one on the bed (very occasionally had to use blankets when all were wet) and persevered

I had to, for her sake and self esteem, give it a really good try ad she was ok with it (she knew it wasn't her fault) She didn't want to go secondary school in pull ups

We stuck to the water/loo regime, she took bottles of water to school and they helped us.

We stuck to it, to the letter and got results. We started last summer and have had 4 wet beds since christmas. She will always have some wet beds, even as an adult but in the main she is dry

We had one appointment at the eneurisis clinic and that was enough

I believe that you have to persevere and put up with the wet beds for as long as it takes and not give in to the ease of pull ups

Also, get a kylie sheet, fantastic things and realy help keep the wee contained

my ds1 finally got dry when we took his pj bottoms off at night - i suspect he felt the security of the elastic around the waist and thought of it as a nappy

The bed mats we have are really useful. They were about £15 each from Mothercare but so much easier than messing about with mattress protectors - then you have that plus the sheet to wash after accidents.

The things we have are large squares of mattress protector type material that go on top of the sheet - child lays directly on top of them. So if they have an accidnt that is all that needs washing. Saves lots of washing!

Glammama, Desmopressin: this is a synthetic form of the anti diuretic hormone, which is produced in the pituitary gland at the base of the brain. It acts by constricting the blood vessels slightly and restricting urine secretion by increasing the quantity of water reabsorbed by the kidneys. This is what happens when we sleep, the kidneys restrict urine production so that we can sleep for 8 hours without needing the loo. The age at which we start to do this naturally is very variable, and can only be controlled by this G.P. prescribed drug, or by the child becoming aware during sleep that they need to get up and go to the loo. As others have offered very good advice, the options are to wait for the dryness to come with the childs maturing body, or seek medical help from 7 years of age.
I'd give the desmo another few weeks and if no joy see the G.P. again. It's possible that it needs to build up in the pituitary before having an effect, but I don't know this for sure. You could ask a pharmacist at a chemists for advice. Also check that the mode of delivery is good, if a nasal spray, is it actually being 'sniffed in' adequately?

Thanks Kittensocks. Yes, we're due to go back to the Dr next month. I was just concerned becuase I'd read that of it didn't work immediately then it would be unlikely to work at all and it may not be so successful with younger children. I'm heartened by the fact that it may need time to build up. As regards method of delivery:- she takes it in the form of a melting tablet so it is definitely getting absorbed. Is it true also that the medicine will only work for as long as it's taken?

Well, we tried everything to train ds, but nothing had a lasting effect (maybe 2 nights, but then back to wet), over 3 or 4 years we tried different drinking regimes, different nighttime weeing strategies, offering incentives, going thru periods of not worrying about it, the lot.

Then, all of a sudden, when he was about 7 1/4, he got the hang of it.
Some boys get it earlier than that, but very few before 5 or 6, I think.

If I were you, I'd get some dry-nites and use your energy with something more useful.

My DS was woken and taken to the loo at around 11pm from age 4, I started this originally because he was on antibiotics and needed a dose then. Sometimes his pull-ups were dry in the morning. The important thing here is to wake the child fully and make them walk to the loo and stay awake while using it, otherwise they are still urinating while asleep, and you might as well have not bothered getting them up at all! At about 4.7yrs, he suddenly announced that he didn't want to wear nappy pants any more, and would try to stay dry. Amazingly, there were very few wet beds, and he started to take himself to the loo having woken himself. This was all done with no pressure from me and no comment for a wet bed or wet pull-ups. I can see that I was very lucky!

I can understand the frustration and embarrassment of older children who are still wet at night, and feel somehow failures when they still wear pull-ups when their friends don't. I'd say do whatever is acceptable to the child in terms of urine absorption, and reassure. Frankly, if wearing disposable dri-nites is the only acceptable thing to your child, use them. The childs self - esteem is more important than the planet at this time. Try all the suggestions on this thread to find out what works for you as a family, (in terms of laundry, practicalities etc.) and seek medical help if nothing seems to work. Get referred to an enuresis clinic, they can potentially discover any physical problems there may be.

Glammama, Desmopressin dose only lasts 10-12 hrs, enough for a night, but then will not affect daytime urine production. It's possible that it won't build up in the pituitary if this is the case. It seems that desmo is taken for a 3mth period and stopped to see if there has been any improvement. You could ask the paediatrician if you stop the desmopressin for a couple of months and then re-start it , whether it will "kick-start" the pituitary into production, because I don't know this either! Sorry I can't help more, but I'm not a medic.