Tidying up - present time - stressing

[AtLastEarwax]

Hi all

So as I type this my 3 year old is refusing to put his toys away (still)

Back story
Emptied his WHOLE story box and took all the books of the bookshelf in his room. Told him this morning that he wasn't coming downstairs until he put them away. Proceeded to throw them out his room. Had to go out for a family party so told him he would have to do it before bed.

Got back and still refusing, now starting throwing toys down the stairs

I've tried all I can think, being kind, compromising. Hubby has done the same...

I need advice good and fast please 🙏🙏🙏

Toybox*

No real advice but I know what my mum would do. Not gonna tidy up. OK. They go bye bye. She'd take them away for at least a few days. She'd say "well your toys got really sad, you threw them away and they were hurting so they left".

I think 3 is old enough that he's able to understand the consequence of his toys are removed for a couple of days if he chooses not to tidy up. I can't really do that with my 2YO. She doesnt care yet

Genius idea!!! Doing it this morning if he's trashed his room

Ok, an update...

The bin thing worked, twice. Now every morning he's happy to put his toys in a black bag for the bin. So stressed at this, now what can I do???

I wouldn't stress about it although I understand why you do. Personally I'd adopt a (fake if necessary!) laid back "tidy up time" attitude every day/twice a day, whatever suits you. Announce it's tidy up time, "let's put things away together", cheery, cheery...tidy up in his presence and pretend he's joining in (if he's not). Thank him for any little contribution he makes. Find something to thank him for, even if it's "Thank you, that's really helpful to move out of my way so I can pick up the book"!

I'd try that for a while, and honestly he might just join in and get on with it. Refusing to tidy might lose its appeal when he gets no response to it.

Well it's developed massively since then. Ripped books, constant mess all the time. From now on we are ignoring it, if he has thrown his duvet on the floor we put him to bed as normal and he realised that he needed his duvet on his bed for him.

I think he's bored tbh