what is the opposite to a routine based approach to motherhood???

[sheepgirl]

Right from when my son was born I was a very chilled and go with the flow mum which naturally turned into a demand led approach to raising my baby. I have met a few mums who followed a"routine " based approach to motherhood as soon as there babies were born. I sometimes felt a bit of a hippie when they would come round and knew exactly when to feed their baby and would leave promptly in time for feed time. I do sometimes wonder whether I should have read more books on the subject and made an informed decision. Its just that when I gave birth and this little being looked up at me I naturally put him to my breast and never looked back. Maybe my view would have been different if he wasn't a chilled, sleeps through the night from 3 mths and just genrally no trouble baby.

YOu describe exactly my parenting of all my 3 (well DTDs were prem so put into a routine in SCBU, but it drifted and we responded to their demands as required).#

I don't call it anything? Do you need to call it anything?

i9 call it being a mummy!!! haha- you have 101 thing to get done in a day why be so rigid with a routine- a baby should fit into your life as such not the other way round- i have a very relaxed routine, ie thing doe around the same time, and it works for me, i get up at 7am, give them breakfast and get them dressed, go and put the washing in the washer, wash breakfast pots, watch a bit of tv or play some games etc with them before lunch time, then after lunch its a nap for both children as my son still needs one at nearly 3 or he's a nightmare in the afternoon and at bedtime, while they sleep i do my cleaning, then they get up and have a snack, the rest of the afternoon is playtime or colouring etc before daddy comes home, then its tea, juice, bath and bed for 7pm.....but however strict that sounds we can happily go out for a full day and not have to bother as they have naps when they need them still, tell me when they are hungry!! i'm sure you will automatically do things arounf the same time every day,a nd thats your routine- if baby wants a feed give him a feed- thats the bonus of breast to bottle- whip it out wherever you are and there's no need to worry about getting home for a bottle!!!

"going wiht the flow"
worked for me. But routines can be useful when they get older (eg at school)!.

I just wondered why some people just follow their instincts and others place their babies in a routine from day one?

I just went with the flow and my instincts because dd was so contented. And it didn't seem to matter where we were or what we were doing she was just as contented.

If she hadn't been I might well have looked around for advice from a "guru", family or peers. But I always figured that as she fed well, slept well (10pm till 7am from 5 weeks), didn't cry unless she was hungry and smiled a lot I was doing something right and I wasn't about to rock the boat!

I followed my instincts and had a routine. It was great!

Just to balance things out, in my case it would probably have been called 'hell' as ds totally thrives on his routine and always has.

It is hard as it means my own life is more restricted (although less so now he is older and able to wait a bit longer for meals/ occasionally miss his nap) but it is worth it in my view.

I am envious really of those of you who have an easy going time of it with little or no routine and who have babies who seem happy with that!

The merits of routine definitely seem to depend on you/ your baby don't they. And the sad thing about certain parenting books is that they don't always recognise this.

Take it as it comes, and make adjustmenst where you fel the need - that was my method, I think!

I'm doing a bit of a blend - following instincts and using my own flexible routine, as opposed to a rigid schedule...so far so good