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Help I am going mad!!

85 replies

Lynne33 · 18/09/2002 11:02

I just had to post this to vent a little. My kids are driving me round the bend!! My ds (4) and my dd (2.6) are constantly bickering, pushing and pinching each other and generally getting on each others nerves. I seem to be shouting all the time at the moment and am becoming emotionally shattered . They also seem to have decided together to take no notice of what I ask them to do whatsoever. Every night I say to myself I am going to try not to shout at them tomorrow, and half an hour after they get up I am at it again!! Has anyone else been through this or got any ideas how I can diffuse a situation before I lose my rag and start shouting?!!

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Lynne33 · 26/09/2002 20:06

What a horrific experience Crunchie!! Like Scatterbrain, I have often joked with friends that it was amazing Social Services haven't been called what with the amount of yelling that went on in my house, but I never dreamt it could actually happen!! How awful for you.

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tigermoth · 27/09/2002 12:39

Hi Crunchie, glad you're here again. I've missed your posts. That experience must have really shaken you up. Do you now look twice at any acquaintance/neighbour? - I'd really want to know who reported it if I was you. I suppose the only positive thing you can draw from this is that Social Services in your area do follow things up - in your case there was no reason to take it further, but in other cases there might have been.

Oh and just remembered, we had a brief phone call from social services when my son was around five - he had been in hospital casualty twice in a month - cuts and bruises from playing out. They wanted me to repeat to them what happened. They said it was normal procedure if a child went to casualty frequently.

I've just glanced through this thread and wanted to add something else to it. Firstly the shouting -been there done that. My oldest son was a toddler and a half. I don't know if it is shell shock from that time, or whether my youngest son, now three, is easier (so far), but I lose my rag far less with him.

I think, though, that the worst is to come - I can still (mostly) distract him out of a tantrum and do (mosty) fine ignoring the rest. I remember feeling a great sense of foreboding when my oldest son got past the distraction phase. Suddenly my words didn't work. I think that's when the shouting took off!

I do still shout at both boys, and especially the oldest who still won't listen. I cannot imagine there is a parent who never ever shouts at their children. Does such a parent exist? I now have a special shouty voice, though, that I hope is more socially acceptable. As soon as I feel myself raising the volume I lower the octave, so I am loud and deep as opposed to loud and shrill. It makes me sound more in control ( and so I feel more in control) and, I like to think, more powerful.

Can't say it instantly stops my sons in their tracks, but at least it indicates that mummy is angry. This can be followed up with a deep and menacing 'do you really want mummy to lose her temper' As they have seem me lose it in the past, they know what this means and it is not good. One advantage of losing your temper in front of children is that you can refer back to it on other occasions as a warning of what might happen if they don't stop the naughtyness right now.

Anyway, a while ago CAM gave me a tip - and I see www mentioned it too. I think it is a really hard tip to follow, but it does work for me when I can bear to follow it. Basically when your child is being really naughty, just stop everything you are doing for 10 minutes or so (really hard when you are feeling so wound up) and sit and play with them. Give them your full attention and only once they are playing happily do you leave them.

Also, I think it's really important to make your peace at bedtime and have a chat and a cuddle before sleep. It's for me at least as much as my sons. They want to feel loved despite everything. And even more so, I want them to feel that they feel loved despite everything.

I know this thread is really about shouting, not smacking, but just wanted to say this - I did smack my oldest son, as well as shout at him, when he was say 3 - 5 years. I don't smack him now - I've found there are more effective ways to punish an 8 year old - however, talking to him about smacking, he says he can never remember me smacking him really, or getting that bad tempered and having long shouting matches, and so far doesn't seem at all phased by it. Yet I KNOW I really lost it with him sometimes when he was younger - shouting culminating in a quick slap. It appears to have done no lasting damage, so I'm not going to beat myself up about it.

Crunchie · 27/09/2002 14:57

Thanks Tigermoth, I suppose it is good to know, but I was soooo angry. I did ask around who it could have been, I was convinced it was my next door neighbour, but they swear it wasn't them, and then I asked others that we know and like, and no-one owned up (strange that, huh!) DH is more paranoid than me, and does keep saying, do you think it could have been X? To start with I felt I couldn't dare open my doors/windows in case, but now I usually forget it.

It happened after a spate of really angry behaviour from me (change of job/huge extra stress) and I know I took it out on the kids a bit. Not badly, but perhaps I did shout more than necessary. However my kids are very vocal, the 18 month old crys as if she is being murdered if she fall over, or her sister takes away a toy! This contstant screaming from the children was also mentioned, but 9 times out of 10 there is no reason for it.

Things are better now, and it did modify my behaviour so I suppose some good came out of it (!) But I know I wasn't that bad and to be honest it is just middle-class guilt that makes me feel so embarassed.

What the person who reported me didn't hear was me sitting down with my girls if I ever shouted unecessarily at them and explaining why I was upset, and how I didn't mean to shout at them I was just cross and tired (simplying things so they could understand). All my 3 yr old said was 'why are you crying mummy, and giving me big kisses' Nosey neighbours never see that bit, just the bits they want to see!

Marina · 27/09/2002 15:40

Unless they have a glass to the wall, Crunchie...so sorry to hear of your recent stresses and ever so nice to see you back here again. Hope the new job is going well and that the kind person who shopped you soon finds some children with real problems to assist.

CAM · 27/09/2002 18:04

Crunchie, did SS ask you who your GP is, who your child's nursery is,etc in order to contact them?

jodee · 27/09/2002 19:19

Before DS arrived, if I was out anywhere and heard a mother ranting at her children, I would think "what an awful woman, leave the poor child alone" - now that ranting woman is me! I'm so relieved to hear that we all do it at times and don't berate ourselves about it too much. I always considered myself quite the shy, retiring type, but having ds has certainly brought out another side to me! I would also say that I think the love and affection we give our children outweighs any shouting, or other forms of telling off, by a million per cent.

Lynne33 · 29/09/2002 09:40

Oh god, it's starting already today!! They are driving me up the wall!! I think the problem at the moment is my dh is working overtime, is gone before they get up and gets back after they have gone to bed. Which leaves me to deal with every single tantrum, boxing match and crying session.

I just feel like each day is merging into one at the moment with no let up. I know it must be horrible for my dh at the mo working all the hours God sends, but it's pretty tough for me too.
Am I being a big wuss here?

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kkgirl · 29/09/2002 10:22

Lynne 33

No you're not. You have my every sympathies, it is completely exhausting.
Recently I have been so stressed with my three, forever bickering, arguing, teasing etc.
I decided last week I just had to be more calm, because I was really cracking up, so I have tried really hard, and tried to ignore the bad behaviour rather than intervening so much with every squabble and it has been so much better. When they realise that they aren't going to get a reaction they stop a lot quicker.

Hope the day gets better for you

ScummyMummy · 29/09/2002 10:49

Oh Lynne, of course you're not a wuss. I used to dread weekends when my partner was working and am so so glad that time has ceased. The only thing that helped me was getting out of the flat. Many a Saturday improved immensely once I had, grim faced, shoved them any which way into ill matching clothes and shepherded them down the stairs and and into the wider world. Is there anywhere good for you to go, nearby? Can you grab the little gits and bundle them out to the park/a museum/anywhere? Hope the day gets better for you...

Lynne33 · 29/09/2002 10:59

Thanks so much for your encouraging messages kkgirl and Scummymummy . Things are a bit better at the mo, 'cos I have bundled them into their coats and shoved them out into the garden to let off steam.

kkgirl, I have also been making a concerted effort not to get involved in every single squabble, but it is soooooo hard isn't it? Especially as my dd is still quite small, so I have to make sure she is not crying because she is hurt rather than just annoyed.

I was thinking of making cookies with them in a minute, but don't know if that will be a huge mistake and will end up in another fight!!! But this afternoon I am gonna take them to the biggest park 'round here so that they can play at either end and not wind each other up!!!

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SoupDragon · 29/09/2002 11:07

Idid post a message which seems to have disappeared into space. Anyway, my point was that of course you're not a wuss - when your DH works overtime, so do you. Being a mother is work too! And, compared to my previous experience of managing a less-than-ideal team of 5 adults, motherhood is tougher!

I know how you feel - my dh works long hours and then plays golf every Saturday morning/early afternoon so I don't get a proper break till much later. Yesterday he got back at 4pm & then proceded to watch golf on Sky for a good few hours.

Anyway, going to the park is a great idea - it's a lovely day here and is on my list of things to do to keep my 2 amused too!

Deep breath, think calm thoughts...

kkgirl · 29/09/2002 11:57

Lynne 33

Well done, hope the messages have cheered you up. I had a really bad day last weekend with twin son, who is difficult at best and I posted on this site and felt so much better when I got some messages of support. Even though I don't really know anyone on here it just helps to know that you aren't the worse mum in the world and that all mums know what you are going through to some degree it helps you feel less alone I think.
Anyway you sound so positive about your day, hope you manage ok the cookies idea sounds great.

Lynne33 · 29/09/2002 17:58

Dear kkgirl,SoupDragon and ScummyMummy,

Just thought I would let you know it wasn't to bad today. I went ahead with the cookie making idea and it went suprisingly well, even though I added to much water to the mixture and nearly ruined it!! Well, how should I know tsp means teaspoons and not tablespoons!!!!!

I then dragged my mum along with us to the park and they ran themselves ragged there. They are currently quietly watching 'Tom and Jerry' and eating dippy eggs and soldiers. Let's hope this mellow mood lasts until bedtime!!!

Thanks for your kind thoughts and support today, I really needed it!!

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kkgirl · 29/09/2002 19:01

Lynne33

So glad to hear that your day picked up, it is really hard when you are on your own and its all starts going pear shaped

We've had a really good day, dd and I went to do the weekly shop and the two boys went on a bike ride with dh, then we packed a picnic and met them at the park for an hour, before dh took eldest boy to swimming lesson.
And they have been really good, it is such a major achievement in our house!!!!!!!!!1

I feel so great I could shout it from the rooftops

Lynne33 · 29/09/2002 19:05

Good for you kkgirl, and long may it last!!

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Crunchie · 30/09/2002 09:26

CAM, yes they did and then contacted them I believe. They didn't visit us, just made a few quick calls. I then called them back to see what they had been told and there had been no 'concerns' by the GP!!

I do feel really guilty about this, but i know I am normal, my kids are normal (if a little hyper!) and that whoever it was is no friend of mine! I wish I knew who it was, but I can't waste anymore time stressing about it. I love my kids, they know I love them and they are happy kids, so SS and everyone else can go themselves!!

CAM · 30/09/2002 10:17

Don't feel guilty, I guess the SS are obliged to act on any reports? It doesn't sound like they thought there was a serious problem if they did't want to see you? I'm just wondering, if you hadn't phoned them back would they have told you anyway what the GP said? Sorry for all the question marks but if someone rang me up and said they were the SS I think I'd have to have proof it even was them before I gave out information like where my child attends nursery,etc. There have been cases in the past when people have called at homes where there are children pretending to be SS in order to gather info re the children.I suppose you were so shocked you didn't think like that...

tigermoth · 30/09/2002 10:50

That's a good point, CAM. How can you check who you're speaking to first time? If they agree to give out a name and phone number and it's a SS department one, then I guess you can be more sure the call's legitimate if you phone back. But, as you say, who'd think to do that?

Hope in years to come you can look back at this and laugh about it with your children, Crunchie.

Elf · 30/09/2002 11:00

Picking up on something here, re when partners are at work at the weekend. My DH works sometimes at the weekend and I hate it because I find it so hard to know what to do. During the week there is always a mother and baby group or our music class or whatever to go to but all that seems to stop at the weekends. I find when you are knackered it's hard to take dd swimming and the park is fine just for a bit. I find inviting myself to friends houses tricky because I imagine that that is the time when they want to spend time with their partners. Anyone got any good tips for weekend fun? BTW my dd is 12 months.

tigermoth · 30/09/2002 11:31

Since your baby is hopefully at the sitting-in-the-pushchair-and-happy-for-a-while-to-stare-at-a-changing-scene stage, how about a trip to your local large market or weekend bootsale? lots to see, smell and hear and you can combine it with a playground visit if there's one nearby, for some out of pushchair active time. If possible do the playground first to tire your baby out, so they are happy to sit and watch. Happy shopping!

Make the most of it, because when your baby reaches toddlerhood, a gentle bimble around a nice market is out!

GillW · 30/09/2002 12:09

Elf - can't agree more. All the organised activities take place during the week, during the day - so there's never anything to do early evening/weekends. Not great when you have to work full-time, but still want to do something with your child at the weekend.

I've bought an annual pass to our local farm-park (which also has a few small fair type rides, giant trampolines, an indoor soft play area, large covered sand play area, etc) which is always a good option. Costs £20 a year for me, and DS goes free as he's under 3. Perhaps there's something similar in your local area?

Ghosty · 30/09/2002 12:15

Elf - I know that feeling. Not because of work though, but CRICKET! Weekends are awful on your own. I would say, Shopping, shopping and more shopping. I shop loads, and hardly ever buy anything!

How about inviting friends to your house as well - that way you aren't encroaching as they want to see you?

ionesmum · 30/09/2002 15:14

Ghosty - at least my dh isn't the only one!

Lynne33 · 30/09/2002 16:59

Elf,

I agree too, there is nothing much available to do at the weekends where I live either, and that which is open is full to the rafters and not an enjoyable experience.

Also I have my little routine of places to go and people to see during the week, and tend to leave the weekends free to do things as a family with dh, so when he is not there I am at a loss as to what to do.

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floops · 30/09/2002 17:00

Reading veryone's messages has made me realise that I am human and not some horrible beast. I don't shout much but when I do I too feel so guilty when they are all tucked up in bed and I have time to reflect. I also have to have a cuddly loving bedtime with them to let them know how much they are loved despite the days events. I find it hard when dh is working at weekends - does it sound like there should be something organised at weekends for parents and kids to let off steam? Something like the sessions available during the week - playgroups etc?