My 15 month lg is driving me crazy

[Louhk87]

I'm currently sat on the stairs crying because my 15mnth LG has been on one all day. My daughter has such a bad attitude and will try and destroy things for no reason. I know this is all part of them learning. But when you've told them no a million times surely something has to sink in. She's really clever and understands a lot but doesn't understand no lol. Like she kept shaking a little table with my drink on causing it to spill so when I held her hands to stop her she then headbutted the table instead. She chucks things if I say no and every time I go to clean the house she starts by trying to take everything off me or grabbing my legs and then gets really upset and starts screaming. We can't go in the garden long because she'll get frustrated at something and I have to take her indoors as I don't want the neighbors to just constantly hear her screaming. We can't go on walks as she just makes it her mission to try and go into the road, or when I take her pushchair she has to help push but will then try and touch the wheels causing her to fall over and she does it every time! And now I've got to the point where I just can't cope with her anymore. I'm constantly feeling frustrated or upset, constantly feeling guilty for telling her off ALL the time. I have a partner who works so I'm with her 24/7 I have 1 friend who I barely see so I'm stuck with her and I get thoughts that I just don't want to be around her anymore. I've asked my partner for help but he doesn't stick to it. I've got no one who can have her for a couple of hours. So I just get upset all the time and hate feeling so angry towards her as I know it's not really her fault. I'm considering talking to my doctor incase I have post natal depression as she was 6wks early with an emergency c-section and couldn't bond with her for a while and had baby blues really bad. Does anyone else feel the same or gone through this?

She's 15MO! It's her purpose in life to make your life hell lol.... well maybe not quite hell but to be defiant. I don't think that you can really correct a child's behaviour at this age but we can still show them who's boss. If she won't push the pushchair nicely then tell her this and then strap her into the pushchair and explain that it was because she kept touching the wheel. If you let her hold you hostage now then she'll only get worse for the next few years at least. Nurture that fierce independence, it'll get her far in life but be firm as well when you need to be. It does sound as though you're burned out and tbh if you're that burned out your LO will irritate you even if she's being a total angel. I think you need to address this. I would start by telling hubby that you're going out for a couple of hours one evening/weekend and go and do something just for you. Just that bit of alone time might be all you need to recuperate. It's hard I know at the moment but just look after yourself and take the breaks where you can. Good luck xx

I don't have a 15mo but totally agree with pp. You need your time, baby-free time. It would drive anyone crazy to be with a baby 24/7.

If nothing else, could you get 2 hours with a childminder a few days a week? To be honest your partner should really help out. My one works full time plus Uni and I still leave the baby with him every now and then when I need some "me" time.

If nothing else, it gives me confidence that if I do need to go somewhere urgently, he can take full care of the baby.

She's 15 months! She is literally incapable of comprehension that your drink will spill and that's bad - all she knows is she makes a movement and the environment changes and she probably likes the pattern from the liquid spill! Hearing "no" will just translate into "mum has a reaction".

Cognitively speaking she cannot yet understand her behaviour is bad because X. She won't grasp it for a while yet.

Please don't say she has a "bad" attitude, she isn't fully formed in her behaviour and framing her isn't helpful at this age, not to her or to you.

Your partner needs to step up and co parent and you need time to step away from being "on" all the time because you've lost perspective on what is age appropriate expectations here!

Also if you're shouting at her, frustrated, angry, wishing she wasn't there, she will be picking up on that. Don't take your lack of support network out on her, it's heartbreaking to read this.

My toddler was exactly the same at that age , no real advice but yeah it is exhausting

Yes to reiterate as above your hubby should be helping out! He might be working but remember that what you're doing is exhausting too. You both need to find a way of allowing each other a bit of breathing space or you'll burn out. Just because he's working doesn't mean he can't have the baby alone for at least a few hours a week

Honestly, the OP is just at the end of her tether. She came for support, not a lecture.
Lockdown looking after your baby 24/7 with no support is not easy. She says she feels guilty already good goodness sake.

I think you need to have a stern word with your husband. He needs to seriously step up.

Intended for @CigarettesAndNoAlcohol

@Cauliflower82 yes but when she's coming on here complaining about her baby and there's clearly nothing wrong with that baby then anyone who genuinely gives a crap WILL tell her that. It's not lecturing or criticising it's putting the situation into the right perspective. All of the previous posters have told her exactly what you just have, that she needs to tell her DH to help her and find more time for herself. I don't see anything wrong with that....