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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

the shoe thrtead reminded me - i fear ds1 may never ever have his hair cut unless YOU, lovely MNers, tell me how i can tackle the tears, screaming, wailing, thrashing....

47 replies

Tutter · 01/10/2007 21:48

and that's just me (ba-BUM)

seriosuly, he HATES it. last time we tried the barber apologised and said he couldn;t carry on (after one snip) as too dangerous

is he fated to resemble leo sayer for evermore?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

edam · 01/10/2007 23:04

Ds isn't terribly keen - had to force him through the door last time. Luckily turned out the assistant we got was from South Africa so she told ds all about elephants/lions/penguins.

Not much help to you, unless you can do a phone poll of your local salons. 'Hello, do you have anyone who can talk about the flora and fauna of foreign lands?'

clumsymum · 01/10/2007 23:10

How old is DS.

My ds now reads the Beano from cover to cover while his hair is cut, and never makes a murmur.

When he was tinyu I would produce a new book (from the library), and a bag of grapes /tube of smarties, which I would post in regularly throughout the process.

Also, FGS avoid the electric clippers for the allover no. 2 . Apart from the fact that it makes all little boys look like thugs, I think the sound must be intolerable, I'd hate that.

stealthsquiggle · 02/10/2007 10:11

Now DH taking him was my next suggestion - and what we now do. I found a "mens hairdresser" (not barber ) and DH and DS go together - no girls allowed

cornsilk · 02/10/2007 10:14

My ds also hates haircuts and looks like a beegee in between his very rare trips to the barbers. We bribe him with a trip to toys R us.

KTeePee · 02/10/2007 10:22

Both my ds's were like this but improved once they were 3 or so. Ds2 had his first haircut last month when he was 3.5 (though I gave it the odd quick trim myself before that - which resulted in him looking like Elton John ).

Took his two older siblings for haircuts, made lots of mentions about how the hairdresser gives sweets afterwards (she does - she's lovely). He then changed his mind because he took a dislike to the girl who was supposed to cut his hair but we made an appointment to come back the following day to see the other one, armed with loads of extra bribes and he behaved perfectly....

Unless you are very fussed about how they look I think it's easier to just not do haircuts for the year or so they are at their most awkward!

ladygrinningsoul · 02/10/2007 19:38

Tutter, my DS (now nearly 4) was like this. (Except the barber wouldn't even start on his hair!)

I now cut it myself, with hairdressing scissors. The first time I just did his fringe, then moved on to shorter cuts. Repeatedly telling him that he wouldn't be mistaken for a girl if he had his hair cut, a LARGE bribe (hey, he's only going to have it cut a few times a year), and lots of telling him after the first cut how super cool he looked with shorter hair (nursery were in on this too), did the trick. He's still not keen (he hates the tickling sensation of the bits of hair) but he will sit nicely while I do it.

bagpuss · 02/10/2007 19:54

I've not read all replies but just a quick post to say that ds2 is like this Tutter and he is almost the same age as your ds1. We have had numerous attempts at cutting his hair over the past year and all have ended in tantrums, snot and hair flying everywhere. We now cut it at home (dh does it) with clippers and he is getting better. Still screams the place down but not as difficult to manage in your own home . Clippers are far easier to use than I realised too.

splishsplosh · 02/10/2007 19:59

I don't have any handy tips, but you do have my sympathy. DD screams hysterically when I even attempt to wash her hair, let along comb it - have no idea what mayhem would ensue if tried to cut it....am feeling weak at the very prospect

bodiddly · 02/10/2007 20:04

My ds is the same ... we used to take him to his aunt's (she is a hairdresser) but he hated it so much he started to say he hated her. We even tried different members of the family taking him but he just wouldnt stop screaming. We have recently found a small hairdressers nearby that have a children's corner with a tv/dvd player and lots of cuddly toys. He sits on my lap (refuses to wear a gown) and watches a favourite dvd whilst having it done. He has been there twice now - the first time we had some tears and screams to begin with but the dvd did the trick. Afterwards he had a treat (chocolate buttons etc) and over the course of a few days we kept saying "it wasnt scary was it? and it didnt hurt did it?". So the second time we went he was a little apprehensive but there were no tears at all! Definitely worth trying ... and lots of bribery with promises of going to do something he loves doing afterwards.

Pixel · 02/10/2007 20:11

Ds is truly awful and has to sit on my lap so I can wrap my legs and arms around him and hang on for dear life. We are saved from a lifetime of ds looking like a shetland pony by our lovely hairdresser who snips away at high speed regardless. She has never once said it is too dangerous to carry on, even the time we all ended up in a heap on the floor!
Not much help I know, just that I think your barber is a wimp .

BruceBabe · 04/10/2007 19:54

Tutter - complete sympathy! DS will be 3 on Sat and has had a thick head of straight hair from 1yr +, but hated the feel of hair on his face/hands when cutting. It's not so much that he has tantrums but more like serious anxiety attacks and looks terrified - we had numerous failed trips to barbers... bribes, watching dh getting hair cut, agreeing to get it cut, then when moment comes he's just terrified! So we now build up to it at home, there are tears but it's a two person job... dh holds his hands and distracts/talks him through it (a bit like getting me thru two labours!), and i cut. It's proving a bit easier each time and wetting hair first and using the trimmers seems to improve things. Like all other weird things, it just takes preserverence and lots of patience. (all the choc/DVD bribes in world still don't make it much easier)... We're building up to another one this weekend

Kanda · 05/10/2007 09:37

If any of you live near enough to the Lymington area try His & Kids (www.hisandkids.com). 9 year old son with ASD usually takes 3 of us to cut his hair, found these wonderful people on holiday and didn't have a second's trouble once we'd got him in the door. Really can't praise them enough, and the coffee was lovely

mellowma · 05/10/2007 13:20

Message withdrawn

cat64 · 05/10/2007 13:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

stressteddy · 05/10/2007 13:46

I cut my ds's hair in the bath. It may take a few days to get it completely right but he doesn't seem to mind it. He does hate having his hair washed so it isn't all plain sailing

TheMaskedPosTERROR · 05/10/2007 13:46

dd (3) cut her own hair yesterday

she came into the kitchen asking 'mummy, is it ok to cut my hair in my room?'

I say 'no darling, you shouldn't cut your own hair, what would the hairdresser do for a job if we all cut our hair?' etc etc.

'Oh, then I'm sorry mummy, I'll never do it again!'

I then venture into her room to find a little pile of blonde hair in the middle of the floor!! Luckily it wasn't a whole handful - and to be honest, the layers look good (in a 3year old cut it yerself kind of way)

barefeete · 05/10/2007 15:35

tutter - i am with you on this. My DS (2yo)screams, hits me, scratches, throws himself on the floor etc etc. It is far too dangerous to go near him with the scissors or any other hair cutting impliment. I have been trying to get his hair cut for months as he has bad heat rash on his neck but just can't get him near the nice kindly hair dresser. I did cut his hair the other day whilst he was watching tellitubbies but he turned his head at the last moment so i ended up with a cut finger and he now has the most geeky hair line you can imagine which is wonky and very high!

maltesers used to work but now nothing can calm the devil inside of him when walk into the place!

ladymariner · 05/10/2007 15:55

I've had this with my ds. Got round it by getting a mobile hairdresser to come round the house and he sat on his favourite toy motorbike, good as gold.
He's nearly twelve now and into all the latest gel etc now - how things change!!!

hellion · 05/10/2007 20:09

Find a hairdresser who is used to cutting kids hair and can do it quick! In, chop, out with toys and snacks produced as it is being done. First hairdresser we tried was inexperienced and slow as snail. Nearly ended up with all three of us in tears.

BecauseImWereWolfit · 05/10/2007 20:14

Just wait till he turns 15 ...

fatslag · 05/10/2007 20:32

Kanda, what's their secret? ds1 (4) is just the same as tutter's, no bribe in the world will work and each time I am faced with buckets of snot and hysterics. Would do ANYTHING to get him to accept it!

pastilla · 05/10/2007 20:34

buy a packet of biscuits, sit him down, get those clippers that don't need to be plugged in, wet hair and see how much you can get through as fast as pos. if pos, cut so that it won't look so bad if you have to stop half way eg do all the back, then all the side then the top

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