shouting at toddler and terrible twos feel like a bad mum

[Evans92]

I'm looking for some advice, my son is 2.5 years old, currently in the terrible two stage. I do however have a very short fuse and not very much patience.. i tend to shout alot which I feel awful about, I have got better lately but lately he is really trying me. He has however started to copy me and shouts and screams which was obviously gonna happen.. he is also very clingy as of lateky. I work part time only 2 days a week, family was having him for me to work, but my friend started having him one day a week and for a couple of weeks it was great, then he started shouting at her kids, screaming crying for me being naughty kicking doors etc, he is an only child that likes to play 247 and my friends children will pay but not all the time and he shouts and them to play. He shouts far to much and I feel like an awful mother.. ive stopped shouting now but hes naughty sometimes and doesnt listen and shouts? Any advice x

I wouldn't blame yourself for him shouting, I'm the same with my 2yo he has a very bad attitude and I think a lot of the time when he shouts at me he's trying to get a retaliation from me to see if I shout back I've started been very strict with the "naughty step" ect and if he shouts I ignore him which he HATES he'll cry but only for a couple of minutes then he's over it, I have to step my discipline up with sorting his attitude as I also have a 10 month old and another baby on the way, but the only thing that seems to work is removing his nintendo switch or favourite toys from him, he has a tantrum but he's starting to learn that I take away his toys when he's naughty! Also this sounds cruel but if he REALLY pushes buttons I completely remove every possible thing out of his bedroom he can play with so he's literally left with drawers bed and wardrobe he hates it but he has to learn young before he only gets worse, chin up you're doing amazing ❤🥰

We all have bad days and 'lose it's at times but your child is learning from his most immediate caregivers how to behave so you can't hold him to standards you can't even hold yourself to. If you want him to stop shouting and kicking etc when things don't go his way then you're not going to achieve this by shouting back at him or using an act of hostility like leaving him all on his own on a step or ignoring him. I think mirroring how you want him to behave is the best way especially at such a young age. If there's a certain behaviour you expect from him then I would talk to him whilst he's calm. Tell him what you expect and then agree what's going to happen and then follow through if he still chooses to act that way. Eg; 'We need to keep our toys tidy. If you don't tidy them up when you ask then I will have to tidy then away and you'll not be able to play with them for a few days' I would try and make the consequence a consequence and not a punishment and make it relevant to the undesirable behaviour. Removing a tablet because a child hasn't played nicely at a playdate for example is completely illogical and your child will have difficulty making that connection and actually learning anything from it. Good luck and don't be too hard on yourself. They're such fun at this age but little devils too x

Sorry no advice just saying I can totally relate. 2.5 year old twins and I'm constantly shouting. I can't even go for a wee or do any cleaning without them screaming at me. I'm at my wits end. Hopefully things take a turn for the better for us both x