3 year old tantrums, how to deal with them

[MissPepper8]

I'm posting after a embarrassing day.. I won't go into detail but DC basically ignored me, screamed all the way to the car and I had no idea what to do.

So part of me thinks it's due to new sibling and potty training stress (seems to be having nightmares too) as theyve never been like this before.

DC wouldn't listen to put some toys down, has become a bit possessive lately with "mine" business (while they can share) and so i took them, said we had to go and then tried to bribe DC but it wouldn't work and DC then screamed all the way to the car. They did walk but screaming while walking as they didn't want to leave.

How do I deal with things like this? I tried all manor of bribing, explaining, talking about visiting grandparents next. Just screaming and shouting no at me (which is new and learnt off their cousin).

Do i ignore it? Nothing seems to work so I guess I need a new angle. This has to be the worst strop DC has ever had in public and it was an important day too, so I feel quite down (I know it's silly, I just don't know what I'm doing wrong).

Good morning - I hope you slept after yesterday's fun!

Someone I spoke to long ago about the same sort of experience said to me that only idiots will judge you for your child's behaviour, so ignore them. You can think highly of yourself if you can just not lose it so I focussed on that. I would ignore what he was doing mostly, but I would say things like 'oh it's so frustrating isn't it, having to come with mummy to get the shipping? But we have to because we all need a nice tea and you can have a nice rest afterwards and lalala' I would throw in lots of poor you and come on it's ok, I can help you, I understand that you're angry etc etc.

I used to acknowledge they were cross but try to be kind because they genuinely feel livid but of course can't process.

He will be possessive, so maybe try to give him some things he doesn't have to share. 'You have to share things with but also I bought these two things and this one is your special one and this is their special one'. Blah blah blah.

It's hideous when it is happening, but really you have nothing to be embarrassed about. Three year olds are just very volatile.

@labyrinthloafer Thank you x Feeling a bit down right now but trying to keep my chin up. We've not seen anyone for ages and this was his first reaction and I didn't know what to do.

He basically was hesitant to share with other kids, he's been to a nursery before so not sure where this has come from. He then didn't want to leave at all, and I was calm and tried explaining and asking how he felt, to explain but we just got the screaming and flat on the floor.

In the car he calmed down and I said to him its better if you tell mummy why you're unhappy not shout because we don't know. But woke up today to more screaming as he wanted to do something and I said no, so just explained the same again.

I think we've spoiled him totally.. He's always been the baby and gets loads of toys ect. I think I've ruined his nature.

You haven't ruined his nature, you haven't had time, although you might ruin it yet if you over react!

He's three, he was in lockdown and now he's got to go back to things, he has to share, he's stressed, he's three...

My kids are absolutely not spoilt. Doesn't mean they weren't bratty and super tantrummy at times.

@labyrinthloafer Thank you x

We ignored it today and it worked well actually, he grizzled and cuddled me and calmed down.

He's my first and a rainbow baby so he has been spoiled, but I think he's struggling with lockdown and it not being all him anymore. He's still my world but I feel mum guilt right now.

I think I'm finding it more hard as I have a bit of pnd. Usually I'm good at stuff like this.

Sorry to hear you have pnd, that will definitely make you doubt yourself more. Is good that today was better.

I expect you're doing things far better than it feels like you are. I'll keep fingers crossed he doesn't scream tomorrow then . Take care. And look after the pnd, I hope you're getting support for that.