This is going to sound awful but I just wish I didn’t have my children sometimes. I have a 7yo and a 3 month old, I hate the age gap, I hate the demanding nature of having a baby, I hate I have no time to myself to just breath, I hate feeling like this. I love them both so much but they have very different needs and I’m struggling mentally to handle it all. They have different dads, I have been with my dp for 6 years and we never thought we would have children, when I felt pregnant he was adamant on an abortion, I didn’t want that he got his head around becoming a dad and now his absolutely amazing with our ds which is why I feel so awful about my life choices, I pushed to have our baby and yet here I am regretting it, my 7yo has awful attitude, she’s mean and horrible and lashes out at me all the time, she’s always been a little firecracker and strong willed but I am at my wits end with her, I give her her dos with lockdown and a new sibling etc but I just feel terrible. I can’t find a balance and it’s making me feel numb, I long for the days I am back at work where I can act like myself and have adult conversations and moan about things with people, I can’t believe I forgot how difficult a baby was, iv never been super maternal but I do show A lot of love to my littlens, we snuggle and laugh and play together which is why I don’t understand why I feel so detached from them and Just wanting to run away, is this normal? Is this ok? Or am I a terrible parent for wanting to be on my own sometimes?