friendship and playground angst - is he normal?

[umi]

My 5 1/2 years old ds seems to be struggling in the playground at school, though part of me wonders if he may also be playing up to what he knows I'm worrying about. He has firends who live close by and are in his class, friendships made through me being mates with their mums. He plays well with the here or at their houses, but their interests are a bit different. Male friend very active/ physical/ into swords etc - ds not into the killing thing (probably a good thing), more creative and imaginative play. Best girl friend and ds seem to have more of a comfy brother/sister relationship. 20 girls and only 10 boys in class - many of the boys more rumbunctious than ds, and the girls seem to be getting really girlie. Ds never been keen on big groups (like me), tells me playground play is boring ('they just pretend to be fire engines - what's the fun in that?')and from what he tells me just seems to wander around looking for someone to play with, but not actually doing anything. Am terrified he'll be lonely, get isolated from the others, alienate other kids if he doesn't join in, worst of all not get invited to parties................ sometimes I think it's his personality and I begin to dislike that about him then I feel really awful for being such a bad mum, though he's my world and I adore him. Teacher says he's great in class, gets on with everyone. Am I being paranoid?

Yes, probably

This week I've been SO trying not to get drawn into this sort of thing; my five year old ds has told me that so-and-so has told him he couldn't play with him, so-and-so has broken friends with him etc

I really think your ds (and mine!) are ok really, just learning the whole playground stuff really. Don't forget it's not just the playground, they work in little groups and interact with each other all day in the classroom too.

Don't read too much into it. Your ds sounds as if it's not so important to him as it is to you! I'm the same, we just want them to have friends; but remember it's early days, it's very unusual for friendships to be 'set' at five. Plenty of time yet. Certainly don't get stressed about his personality. He WILL find his friends and his place.

you'e probably right, thank you! Just what I needed to hear before embarking another day of worrying sbout it.

I find it really hard not to impose my own values/ ideas onto what he does, but makes sense to think that actually it's just not that important to him.