16 month old - lack of comprehension - worried

[RedC83]

Hi there. I have a wonderful 16 mth old who has been no trouble really. She is a fussy eater and we struggled to breastfeed but generally she’s easy. Sleeps well etc. Over the past few months I’ve noticed that she has not developed in terms of language and comprehension along with her peers. She’s got major milestones (walking, crawling, self feeding, waving and clapping) and gross and fine motor skills are good. But she cannot follow simple instructions, she lacks the understanding. She does not speak at all - except for “bye bye”- and she’s been able to say this for months and months. She rarely points (but she does do it sometimes) and seems blank/disinterested in conversation. She loves tv- could actually watch for over an hour at a time. I’ve watched other kids repeating words, collecting objects at request and she does none of this. I feel worried. Do you think there is a problem?

The TV is the problem. Screens delay language development, so remove all screens (phone, tablet , tv, computer) and replace it with reading.

Hmm yes I agree in theory but we only allow it when she’s having her milk before bed. So there are 12 screenless hours per day. Sometimes it’s 20 mins per day. Sometimes longer if she’s less tired, but always in the 6-7 window. Do you really think that could be the issue?

Well in your opening post She loves tv- could actually watch for over an hour at a time it seemed she was watching it a lot more than just before bed.
If you google "screen and language delay" you have the studies showing the detrimental effects of screens, especially the hand-held ones.

It appears from your second post that she is not so much exposed to screens. Read to her, again and again. Have her near you while you do the daily tasks, in her high chair while you cook and talk to her.
How do you spend the day with her?

I have a 17 month old little girl. A couple of months ago, I was where you are at. Really worried that she wasn't understanding language. She could not follow simple instructions and didn't seem to recognise a lot of words. Basically since then, I stopped all screen time... Although I realise you don't give your daughter a whole lot. I also talk to her ALL day long now. I pretty much commentate on everything I'm doing and she now knows lots of words (although she doesn't talk yet). She follows commands like 'go and get your shoes' and 'bring mummy the peppa pig book'. I got down on her level and played with her constantly. I am really seeing progress in terms of understanding. She has lots of animals and she can now pick out certain ones out of whole pile of them! Just talk to her lots and play with her more. Hopefully she will get there.

@LeGrandBleu. My partner and I are both ICU workers so she is at nursery from 8am-4.30pm 4 days per week. In that time she climbs, plays outside, reads, sings, etc. Her nursery teachers say she has a strong preference for outside play and they do struggle to get her to engage with books (as do I, but we are trying). My sister is an illustrator of kids books so there is no shortage of them in our house and we're all bookish so it's definitely on my agenda! She does love TV - she is completely absorbed when she watches it and I feel that's different to some kids (ie my nephew has no attention for tv). On my day off and weekends we do park walks, play with blocks, play with moving toys, water, sand, musical instruments, she 'helps' with house hold chores etc. I'll keep up the narration and limit tv and hope we see a turn around.

@CP2701This is great news that your little girl is developing so nicely. It's a worrying time and so lovely when you see real progress! I'll keep trying to do the same

I would say she's approaching the age where she ought to be understanding things but they will all focus on different things. Could she point any body parts out for example? Or animals/objects in a book? Will she do something like clap hands if asked? Mine would follow a few instructions by 16MO but even now at 27MO it is touch and go whether she will actually listen Make sure there's lots of praise if she does demonstrate understanding. I wouldn't feel too guilty about the screen time but particularly if she is this fascinated by it I would have a strict restriction of half an hour a day. If she is watching TV it is a good idea to share the experience with her too and have a running commentary about what's happening etc so that she's still connected to the outside world. Things you can do to help at this age is just talking talking talking relentlessly. Like I used to be walking round our kitchen as she was eating saying 'mummy is walking to the cupboard. I'm going to put these spoons back in the cupboard. Oh look there's still some things in the dishwasher. I'm going to go and empty them etc etc' Finding times to read books is important too. Mine is very energetic so this is a challenge but we still have at least 20-30 minutes of reading time a day just before bed and nap times etc. I found a website called www.teachmetotalk.com very helpful for tips on how to improve their language skills. I would just keep going and do what you can but remember that they're all different. I sing and talk relentlessly to mine and although her understanding is brilliant her expressive language I would say is still not amazing. I realise that what adds to the stress is knowing that when a child is a little behind with their speech there'll be a chunk of people who assume that it's you just ignoring them but research has shown that it's actually only a very small proportion of children who are behind with language skills because their caregivers are not doing enough. Some kids are just better at latching on to that social aspect of speech and some take longer but the majority level out with each other by school age. With your's I would give it until about 18MO as a language explosion is common by this point. If you still don't think her understanding is great then I would speak to your HV especially if there's any other concerns re ASD/learning difficulties. A LOT can change in this first couple of years though so I wouldn't panic I'd just keep on talking face to face with her as much as possible. Good luck xx

@Jannt86 Thank you -good advice. So with regards to skills my partner and I constantly doubt ourselves. She was, at one point able to point out her head and tummy but now when I ask her, she ignores me. I have to be careful not to be too persistent with asking things of her or she starts getting a bit upset, or just walks away. She DOES engage with me eye contact, shows me things, responds to her name some of the time, looks where i am pointing etc but none of it is as much as I have seen in other toddlers her age. I will keep narrating and keep trying.

She sounds very like my LO. Mine refuses to be a trick pony and if she realises you're trying to get her to do things she'll refuse. I would cut out all attempts to make her point to things or follow instructions or say words and just talk to her. If you're going to see if she knows something then make it a game rather than a test. She will find ways of letting you know when she understands . The flash cards and word books are good to explore at this age and mine loved them but let her point things out when she's ready.

Great advice - thank you

@RedC83 how is you little one doing now?

How’s your little one doing ? 😁❤️

Any update please?x