Autism in 2 year old?

[Trustynickname]

Hiya all.
This is long winded but I need some advice please, I'm feeling really down because of this.
My son just started nursery last week, he has been going for 2 hours per day for only 3 days so far. Due to covid19 I have to drop him at the door and return to pick him up, cant go in and settle him in etc. All of this is totally new to him and he is an only child who isnt used to being around many other children.
Today I went to collect my lo and was told by his nursery room leader who is also there senco, that my lo is showing signs of being autistic, due to him being clingy with staff, crying at lunch times and not wanting to sit up the table and eat, also not being verbal and putting 3 words together to form a sentence (he does at home - when he feels like it though) and also he was putting his hands over his ears at noise, which he has being doing at home recently. She said he needs to see a doctor asap and get a diagnosis.
Im really confused and saddened, I want the best for my little boy, hes 2.5 years of age and I will do anything to support him if this is the case but I'm so upset that he may have problems which I have been unaware of this whole time, I have no other children to compare him by so I thought he was a completely normal toddler. Has any one else experienced anything like this. I have a telephone call tomorrow with a doctor so I'm hoping to get some answers. Is it possible for them to diagnose a 2 year old with autism!? I've never heard of this being the case before. Thanks.

Jesus! That's utterly ridiculous that they're saying this after seeing him for a basically a few hours in very unsettled situations. What are they actually doing to help him settle in? Perhaps they should be focussed on this to start with. I'd be really concerned that they're making such massive statements so early on. My LG is not autistic and she was awful when she first started nursery and heartbreakingly unsettled. What helped? Moving from the crappy childminder she went to initially to a nursery that offered cuddles etc and actually knew what they were doing. The first thing I'd be asking is not 'is my son autistic?' but ' is this place really offering him adequate care?' I'd be tempted to check a couple more places out and see if there's any difference. Good luck xx

This is a tricky one, in one hand nurseries can at times be a bit too eager to point out potential issues so to make sure that no one falls through the cracks (it's their duty) but on the other hand they are in a privileged position to have seen hundreds of children so are familiar with some of the common signs and are able to compare against peers. However, if he has only been at the nursery for one week then it is a very premature and inappropriate statement for them to make!

Autism can be diagnosed as early as 24 months but there is much more to autism than being clingy or covering their ears. Autism is a social communication disorder and greatly impairs joint attention, so things like not pointing to request (like something which is out of reach) or not pointing to share interests (like a plane in the sky) by 18M or a lack of social referencing (so for example not looking at you when they are worried or cautious, or running off and not looking back periodically to see where you are) - there are many more examples like these which act as better early indicators.

@AladdinMum could you please give a few more examples? I have a 15 month old and he isn't pointing but he puts his hands up to be picked up and pulls my top down to take few sips. And I also feed him before I realise he will be hungry and immediately change his nappy when he poops, so I attend his needs before he actually needs it. Is this what's stopping him from pointing or communicating with me when he wants something?When he watches wind the bobbin up he frequently looks back at me and smiles and looks at the video. He also found his dads sunglasses on the coffee table the other day and took it to his dad and tried to fit it on his face. Before he is about to do something naughty, he will look at me to see if I'm watching him and he will do it deliberately with a cheeky grin on his face. If he doesn't want something, he will look at me and dramatically throw it. If let's say his dummy/toy lands in his cot bed he will bend down and pick it up and look at me and then throw it further away. But then today I took him to the beach but noticed a couple of very gentle hand flapping, not for a long period of time but just about 2 seconds but I'm trying work out if it's because he had sand in his hand but other than that he was running around like a headless chicken.

Coming back to the thread, I do think the nursery is being a bit extra as it's normal for toddlers not settle in immediately right? I remember it took weeks for my little sister to settle in reception and she was 4-5 and NT. Also, don't toddlers do random stuff for while and not ever do it again like their shaking heads or for your instance covering their ears?

Theres a lot more to autism than just covering ears.
there is no way they should suggest that he should be diagnosed asap
(takes bloody ages anyway, we have one in our school nursery and he got his diagnosis at 4)
new setting, more children, away from parents/carers for the first time would unsettle any child, They dont seem a very caring nursery if their first thought about a new, unsettled child is ' their autistic'
If they dont improve I would change nursery's.