Refusing to sit to do a no. 2

[meadow]

Dear all,

I wondered if any of you have had the problem of your ds/dd trying to poo, but absolutely refusing to sit on a potty/toilet? Please could I have some advice on how to encourage my dd to sit down. DD is 2yo. Thanks.

[threeangels]

This has been mentioned many times on other threads but I always thought an award system worked or eventually worked. My 2 older ones did this. I would place candy or tiny items (stickers, stamps, just tiny things) in a bag and I would let my kids put their hand in the mystery bag and pick something out. The excitement and surprise is what they liked. They knew that if they did a poo they would be awarded.

[ANNIE1]

I have the same problem, my daughter is 2.5yr and is trained as far as weeing is concerned but does not want to sit on the toilet to do a poo. We know when she's about to do one because all is very quiet and she's hiding in the corner or behind the curtain ready to go there. She hates anyone coming near her and refuses to go to the toilet. I've had to say to say that she can go to the toilet and mummy will go away and shut the door. Then she reluctantly agrees. We cannot understand her behaviour as we have never made any issues of any kind about doing a poo, in fact we've always told her 'well done' when she did. I can only hope that it is something that she will grow out of.
Sorry can't offer any advice-need some myself, but you're not alone!

[AliH]

Dd was dry just after two, but had difficulty with poos, to the extent that she just did them in her knickers! She always came and told me immediately (some small relief I suppose).

We cracked it by offering stickers as a reward, Thomas ones being her favourite. They were always visible for her, to remind her, but she was never allowed to touch them unless she had 'performed'.

Good luck

[Eowyn]

This is so freaky, Annie1 you described my dd exactly, hiding behind the curtain & shouting "don't find me". Haven't wanted to make a big deal of it but maybe the stickers will have to be rationed soon...

[pluto]

Ds (aged 3) is still standing up, with nappy on, to do poos. Nearly always at bedtime, has pants during the day. Tells me he wants a nappy on to do a poo if the need takes him during the day. I ask him every day, in a very relaxed way if he'd like to try the potty or toilet, but he's adamant he won't until "he's a big boy." He doesn't seem interested in rewards either. I'd love some advice if anyone has any!!

[Scatterbrain]

My DD (26 mths) has just gone clean - she was pooing in her pants, hiding to do it - just as you all describe but I was deliberately laid back about it and followed GF's advice to encourage her by saying stuff like "why don't you poo in the potty next time like a big girl and daddy/granny/mummy will be so proud of you !" plus lots of hugs and cheering when she did. We also bought a happy-face stamper and she got a stamp on her hand every time she managed a poo in the potty - that was really popular !

I was sure that she'd get it eventually and she has - so just stick with it and don't get too stressed out I'd say.

[SoupDragon]

Pluto, does your DS give you any clue on what he considers to be a big boy?? We always told DS1 he was wearing Big Boy Pants when potty training. Maybe you can come up with something that makes him think he is a big boy now?

To all of you with secret poo-ers, have you tried putting the potty in one of their favourite secret places? See if they can be persuaded to use it there and then move on to using it in the toilet with no one there etc.

[pluto]

Soupdragon - DS' idea of when he is a big boy is when he can reach the ceiling!! Tried stickers earlier this afternoon. He got really excited about this but when it came to the crunch he said "actually I think I'll wear a nappy." He can't seem to explain why he won't use the loo, I don't think he's afraid as he sits to do a wee. I am treading a fine line between very calm and patient and trying to be firm that he should give the loo or potty a go.

[SoupDragon]

Oh dear - buy him some stilts or a ladder then! You could try lining a potty with a nappy and see if he'll sit on that for a poo. Sometimes I think our children are too smart for their own good though. I guess he'll get there eventually.

[Bugsy]

Pluto, our ds is just over 3 and still wants to poo in his nappy. I tried really hard gently encouraging him to use the potty or the toilet and we did all that how proud we'd be stuff and how it was a sign of being a really big boy etc etc and he just ended up getting stressed and constipated.
On the advice of lots of friends who have had (mainly boys it has to be said) similar problems we have just accepted that he will poo in the loo when he is ready. He never poos anywhere but at home just before bed in a nappy, so it is not a problem for nursery or visiting other people's houses.
Sorry that's probably not very helpful but at least you know that you are not alone!