mini-disputes

[Countingthegreyhairs]

Would appreciate some advice from other more experienced mum's pls.

I was really disappointed when my 4 yr old dd's teacher said to me yesterday that although she was doing well in class, she is having lots of little disputes with other children. (Previous reports have stated she was polite and cooperative.) When the teacher saw my reaction (dd's currently an only child so I've always tried to place great emphasis on sharing and we've always insisted on good manners etc) she said "oh it's totally normally for their age and it's nothing serious, just lots of disputes about little things" but she had made a special effort to cross the yard and come over and tell me about it and I could tell she was concerned.

We've noticed that dd's been a lot more argumentative at home of late too. I can't blame starting school because she did that a year ago very happily (we live abroad where they all attend 'maternelle' much earlier than in UK).

I want to act on the information the teacher has given me but I'm not really sure how to go about it. Any ideas anyone please?

sorry - that should read 'normal' for their age

Well, unless you can run a school from home so that you can watch your dd, I don't see what you CAN do! I think it's the teacher who needs to act on the information; I think it's so difficult when a teacher makes comments about difficulties but then it's left hanging and goes nowhere......

If you get further comments I think you need to ask two questions of the teacher;

1. What will your strategies be to help dd with this?
2. Is there anything you're asking me to do?

DS' reception teacher sometimes made the odd comment that left me feeling the same as you, kind of worried but unclear....that's really not your problem, more that the teacher hasn't communicated clearly.

Thanks HG and for yr. two v. pertinent suggested questions. I think I will ask for more clarification. Haven't done so already because the school makes a big thing of "parents" being the primary educator of the child (which I happen to agree with actually) closely followed by the school - working as a team etc etc.

I want to come up with a good strategy and feel that it's my place to do so - just at a bit of a loss as to what that strategy should be!

We have lots of scheduled play dates where dd is encouraged to share. I wonder if a reward chart would work - but as you say - a bit problematic when I am not there to monitor during the day but one for home might work.

Any other ideas anyone?

Anyone else have an argumentative child who can offer advice please (she said bumping shamelessly)???