DS just hit me!!!

[BarefootMaria]

My DS hit me really hard on the head this morning for the first time in his 3yrs 9 months. I was really shocked, it came after him waking up grumpy from a slightly disturbed night sleep (our neighbour's alarm had gone off). I had been very patient with him but he started throwing toys at his little sister so I picked him up to go to his room for his three minute timeout. That is when he hit me.

Other than the fact it really hurt(!) I am really upset with him for showing violence towards me (I have never hit him, my husband has done once months ago when he was really out of control).

My question is how far should his punishment go? He had his time out (it lasted out 10 minutes as it took me that long to recover!. I have been a little 'cool' towards him and said he couldn't have any books at bedtime (he loves his books).

Still finding it hard to get back to our normal very loving and happy relationship. I know he was probably just having a bad day, but this has really upset me.

Any advice?

If it was a one off I wouldn't worry too much. And it may be a one off.

Has he said sorry?

Barefoot, my DD 2.5yrs does this occasionally although i only find is when she is really tired and grumpy.
But she goes on the naughty step, for 2mins and then she has to apologise and give a cuddle to whoever she done it to, and then all is forgotten.

I've never hit my DD, shes had a tap on the hand but not hard, if shes naughty but not enough for the naughty step but she always apologises, i then apologise for tapping on the hand and we go back to our normal selves.

Prob not the best advice but thats what we do.

I would say that you have punished him enough as well. Have you talked to him about why it was wrong?

I think you have had a shock, but need to chill out about it a little bit. My dd2 is 2.4 mths and hits out at her sister when she is frustrated, and no-one has shown her hitting. It is one of those things that happens sometimes. He has done his timeout and said sorry so it is time to move on. I wouldn't have stopped his stories without a warning first, but now you have said that I would follow through.
Goodness knows I am no expert, but try to remember he is a young child and won't have realised how much he hurt you. Especially as it is so out of character and so wasn't vindictive, just bad timing???

My DS1 started to hit his little bro. Neither myself of DH has ever hit our children or let them see any violence. we are firm believers in behaviour breeds behaviour.

I was so upset and shocked that I cried and rang DH.

Having realy look in to the things he does, we discovered that one of the children at toddlers where we go had hit him (I did not see this as was with DS2 at the time).

So I believe that is why he lashed out at his brother. I did 3 mins timeout and told him we do not hit under any circumstances.

My advice would be to accept it as normal. It's good that you were upset and made that clear, so he knows it was wrong, and it's good that it had a consequence (the time out). You've done enough; dealt with.

Kids do sometimes hit, and as long as you give him clear boundaries like you did, he will grow out of it.

If this were me, I'd forget the being 'cool'; he's forgotten ALL about it, he won't understand why; you need to move on. One of the good things about time out is the opportunity to draw a line and move on. It's one of the most important things, being able to give them a fresh start.

If he's ok the rest of the day I would give him his stories. Taking away something at night as a consequence for something he did in the morning will have no value and be too negative IMO. Tell him he's been so good that he can have his stories after all You don't ALWAYS have to follow through....sometimes it's great to admit to kids 'actually, I was over the top and I'm changing my mind'. Even very young kids can understand and respect that, and it's setting a great example.

Like that idea Honoria, about giving back stories due to good behaviour during day...

i like that idea to.