Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Flip

Original poster

I know it is for my benefit but WHY do they do it?

13 replies

NAB3 · 26/09/2007 10:26

Had tears today with DD, age 4, as she wanted me to take her in to the classroom and wouldn't go from the wall or the door. A mum saw me later and said she was fine within a very short space of time. Is it a conscious thing - ie I am cross with Mummy for leaving me here so I am going to make her worry, or is just in them to do do it?

OP posts:

HonoriaGlossop · 26/09/2007 10:36

I'm sure it's not consciously manipulative. It's just hard to make that transition.

HuwEdwards · 26/09/2007 10:44

I think in their heads, the thought and anticipation of you leaving is so much more worse than the reality!

Original poster

NAB3 · 26/09/2007 10:44

We had no tears at all for the first 2 weeks. And now she is saying she doesn't want to go.

OP posts:

HonoriaGlossop · 26/09/2007 10:47

I think that's quite common NAB. They realise that this is IT now, they have to keep coming to school, and it comes as a bit of a shock I think.

I'm sure it'll be fine sooner than you think

Original poster

NAB3 · 26/09/2007 10:48

I guessed that might be it but I still don't understand what they think they are doing it for, or achieving. Is it really just as simple as they would rather be with Mum?

OP posts:

HonoriaGlossop · 26/09/2007 10:53

I honestly think it's just that transition of you leaving them; it's not nice, they don't enjoy it! It doesn't mean they would necessarily rather be with you, or that they don't have a great time at school; it's just that transition.

Original poster

NAB3 · 26/09/2007 11:22

Harden my heart and go?

I have full confidence in the teacher and TA that DD is happy with them and can settle her.

OP posts:

HonoriaGlossop · 26/09/2007 11:22

Yup, that's EXACTLY it NAB. Harden your heart and go.

Original poster

NAB3 · 26/09/2007 11:23

OP posts:

rantinghousewife · 26/09/2007 11:26

Glad I'm not the only one, dd was happy to go to school at first and although we've had no tears, this weeks she's saying she doesn't want to go and seems reluctant to go in. I end up practically shepherding her into the reception block. This morning she said that she wants to go back to nursey. You're not alone NAB3, think it's just a security thing.

HonoriaGlossop · 26/09/2007 11:27

I know That's the thing about school I have found the absolute hardest.

Hardening your heart is against all the mothering instincts, isn't it! But DS found the transition easier, the more definite I was and the less I havered about.

Anna8888 · 26/09/2007 12:15

My daughter (2.10) has been going to school for three weeks now. I leave her at the front door, where there is a TA to welcome the pupils one by one in the morning, and walk away and don't turn back.

She cried a bit to begin with, on me leaving and during the morning, but she's fine now and proudly tells me when she comes out at lunchtime that she didn't cry today.

Just walk away. Be brisk. It's kinder and easier.

Original poster

NAB3 · 26/09/2007 12:43

Just picked her up and she smiled as soon as she saw me waiting at the gate. That's the best part of the day really. I asked about the tears this morning and I think it would help if she had a little friend to go the last bit with. Will look for someone tmw as she likes a lot of the children and talks about S being her best friend.

OP posts:

Flip