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Is this separation anxiety or...something else? What should i do?

7 replies

muisje · 25/09/2007 20:20

my little guy (8 mo) has been acting weird in a few different departments in the last couple of weeks and i can't put my finger on what's going on. he's normally a little apprehensive but usually very happy and above all quite independent. lately he has been whining, unwilling to play by himself, and needing to be picked up (he's never been like that!)

this sounds like separation anxiety to me, but here's the thing: he goes to day care 3x per week (relatively new, only about a month) and is the same way with the group leaders there, even the ones he doesn't really know. when one of them walks away from them, even when in full view, he crawls over to them and pulls on their pants desperately, the same way he does with me. he doesn't cry or even really look up when i (or dh) leaves him there.

... as an additional note, he went from sleeping beautifully through the night since 4.5 mo, and now to the last 3/4 weeks waking up most nights sometime around 2 or 3 am screaming for about an hour! there is little if anything that can be done to console him. this might be something entirely different (though is probably not helping w/ his crankiness

TIA for any help, thoughts, suggestions, etc!

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
HuwEdwards · 25/09/2007 20:21

I think 9 months is the peak time for separation anxiety, so you may be right.

Keep repeating 'It's a phase'

xXxamyxXx · 25/09/2007 20:30

they go through that phase for a while at that age started to think they forgot to cut the cord at one point couldnt even go too the loo!!!!they grow out of it thank god not sure bout the funny sleeping thou maybe he always woke at that time just to turn over but now with the clingy stage gets a fright if he thinks hes all alone?just a thought

muisje · 27/09/2007 13:55

thanks - i was also wondering if he was old enough to have sep anxiety at night. hmm. if it is just a phase then i can deal with it, no problem. i just don't want to do something to reinforce the feeling so that it becomes more than a phase, iykwim?

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blueshoes · 27/09/2007 14:05

Is he teething? Could explain the clinginess and frequent wakings.

Could also be separation anxiety kicking in, as you said. My dd had separation anxiety 24 hours a day. I gave up and co-slept with her.

Maybe not what you wanted to hear.

walbert · 27/09/2007 14:13

My 10m dd is similar, but she has v rosy cheeks too so i susoect that teeth have a lot to do with it. During night if wakes up i go in change her nappy n dark (as best as i can so she doesn't think wahey i'm up!!) then put her back in cot with mobile on and let her eventually go back to sleep, during day,like just now, i had to put her n our bed surrounded by pillows and let her nod off because she refyused to let go and sleep!! Aaargghh!! Also hysterical and in tears when grandma feeding her and looking over at me, so i had her sat on my knee bt not talking to her while granny fed her, then she was ok. Thinbk it is just anotyher clingy phase made worse by feeling grotty with teeth.

muisje · 28/09/2007 11:01

he is not in a period where he's cutting teeth, but he could definitely be teething as he has been a little bit grizzly here and there. thx for the tips, i am not opposed to co-sleeping per se, but that's just not our baby. he rolls and flips and flops all over his crib and takes over the terrain with his little lovey in tow
last night we just kinda waited it out and let him cry and babble for a bit at about 12.30, and after about 20 min he just put himself back for the night. this morning i found him just playing happily (and soundlessly!) in his crib!

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bubblagirl · 28/09/2007 11:13

try some ashton and parsons teething powder helps settle sore gums and soothes if upsets belly as some babies get belly aches and diarrhea when teething

but i think most babies go through a stage at this age when they begin to realise if i cry mummy will come and normally starts when they are teething and have colds so just soothe him back and walk away leace 2 mins go back say something soothing then walk away then 5 mins then every 10 mins there after

he will eventually realise how to settle himself back give loads of fuss in day then reduce at night obviously rule out dirty nappy give teething powder or gel and then do cc as you will know all is well to do so then

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