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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

I'm loosing it... advice about 5 month old please

38 replies

TheJen · 25/09/2007 19:16

Please help, any advice appreciated. My DS is 5.5 months. He seems to cry a lot. He is usually only awake for about 1-2 hours before he becomes really grumpy and wants to sleep again. Is this normal? He has 2 good naps a day but the stretch from about 3 or 4 (depending on nap time) til 7 is almost unbearable. I am beginning to find it really upsetting. He is BF (with a little solids) and sleeps well at night (maybe wakes once but doesn't usually have to be fed after 10pm). Take today for example. Up and BF at 8, fruit puree and rice for breakfast, lost it by 9.15 so down for nap. Woke him and fed him at 11 as had to go out- slept from 12.45 in buggy and woke once we arrived at friends for lunch at about 1.30. He was grumpy and cried for the whole time we were there and I found it so embarrassing. Eventually hit the streets again with buggy to try and get him to calm down and he had a 25 min nap at 4.30 but was still hysterically tired during bath and went to bed at 6.40. I feel so stressed about it as unless I give everything up to his naps and let him have 2 two hour naps in his cot, he is really tough to cope with. I feel that there is very little time in the day when he's enjoyable to be around and it's really getting me down....

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massivebigpantsface · 25/09/2007 19:24

I think all babies are different, as are adults - some people need 9 hours, others 5.

My dd only has about 1 and a half hr in the morn and 30mins in the afternoon and always has done, but it sounds like your little fella likes his sleep so try and let him have his 2hrs.

I know its hard trying to fit your life around his naps but at least if his is snoring away in his cot in the afternoon you can get on with things around the house (or my fave - mn ) and hopefully he will be a bit brighter during his waking hours.

Original poster

TheJen · 25/09/2007 19:34

Even with his naps at home he's grumpy pretty quickly, I'm worried that I'm missing vital cues from him but surely he shouldn't need more than 4 hours in the day and 12 hours at night should he?

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DirtyGertiefromnumber30 · 25/09/2007 19:35

agree with bigpants, if he is happier / easier to deal with after a 2 hour cot nap then that's your way to go!
Unfortuantely, at that age you are rather restricted as you need to work around them - if you dont the result is a tired, grumpy baby.

DirtyGertiefromnumber30 · 25/09/2007 19:37

oops x posts!
some babies do need more sleep than others. He is sleeping a lot, but not massively abnormally. Sounds like a god send!
Has he always been a grumpy baby? If it is recent, could it be teething?

smallwhitecat · 25/09/2007 19:38

This reply has been deleted

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massivebigpantsface · 25/09/2007 19:39

mmmm, thought teething too, also growth spurt at this age. Does he take plenty of milk?

trixymalixy · 25/09/2007 19:40

It is really tough spending all day with a young baby. it gets me down sometimes too.

It is normal for babies to need to go for a nap after a couple of hours of being up. My 8 month old usually goes down for a nap after about 2ish hours at the moment but at that age it was maybe about 1 1/2 hours.

I found he baby whisperer book really useful for info on how long between feeds or sleeps depending on age.

Could he be teething? have you tried ashton and parson's powders?

massivebigpantsface · 25/09/2007 19:40

btw - my dd can be a right grump after teatime, tired and ready for bed, but then so am i!

Seona1973 · 25/09/2007 19:43

my ds still had 3 naps at this age and went approx 2 hours between sleeps. Your lo obviously likes his sleep and unless you let him have the sleep he wants then he will be grumpy a lot of the time. Could you let him have a cat nap later in the day so he can recharge before his dinner/bath, etc so it makes your evening a bit more bearable?

xXxamyxXx · 25/09/2007 19:45

id let him nap as much as he wants could he be starting to teeth?the only thing i can advise is make sure you get as much time to yourselves as possible a few minutes to yourself when you can can make all the differance till he grows out of it

gegs73 · 25/09/2007 20:00

Sounds good to me if he wants to sleep alot especially if he sleeps well at night. I would just go with it.

Maybe keep trying to get him used to sleeping in his pushchair in the day so if you do want to be out and about you can (as long as you walk). I've had to do this with ds2 due to drop off and pick up times from ds1 pre-school. DS2 aged 4 months is very grumpy if he doesn't have 2 hours or thereabouts at lunch time. If he wakes up early in the pushchair and is crying I give him a dummy which settles him back down until he has had his 2 hours. He only gets dummy in his pushchair so he doesn't associate it with sleep at night - did that with DS1 for awhile and was a nightmare!!)

fizzbuzz · 25/09/2007 20:20

My dd had 3 naps at this age. Morning, afternoon, and a 40 min catnap about 5-6pm. So did my ds

fizzbuzz · 25/09/2007 20:24

Also dd would only nap in her cot, and never in pram or car.

I just went with it, and enjoyed those long naps as me time, rather than taking her everywhere.

Also, the only reason I knew about catnap was because ds would fall asleep anywhere when he was tired, and always fell asleep about 5.30.

Dd showed no signs of this despite being tired, but when I put her down she went to sleep at that time

Original poster

TheJen · 25/09/2007 20:35

If having late cat nap... do they still go down for bed and sleep?
In answer to earlier question; He hasn't always been grumpy and he has just got 2 teeth and we have just come back from a very stressful transatlantic trip so we've had a lot on. I have wondered if it's been a combination of overstimmulation making him grumpy combined with being frustrated at there only being me around to watch rather than the constant entertainment in the States....
I dont think it's a growth spurt as if anything he's feeding a bit less- that's the other thing... how to fit in the feeds when he's sleeping so much? Maybe he's bored? Can;t play with much yet and quickly frustrated with toys. I just find it so stressful when I pluck up the energy to go somewhere/meet someone and he cries the whole time. I would love it if he slept better in the buggy- might try dummy trick but he was never that taken with it and wont have bottle either! I think my problem is that when things go well I feel successful but when they don't, I feel a total failure and at the minute I'm struggling to hold back the tears most of the time.

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Original poster

TheJen · 25/09/2007 20:50

Is it normal to feel so much guilt and anxiety as a new mum?

OP posts:

trixymalixy · 25/09/2007 21:13

My Ds also had 3 naps at that age. he had one about 5ish as well.

He normally went down ok for bed but if he wasn't ready then i just left it until he was.

Get the baby whisperer book or look at the website for how to fit everything in.

trixymalixy · 25/09/2007 21:15

Jen, i think it is pretty normal to feel anxious as a new mum, but if you're in tears all the time maybe speak to your GP or health visitor.

fizzbuzz · 25/09/2007 21:32

Yes babywhisperer is fantastic about these sort of things.

Also I think it is normal to feel stressed, but if he will only settle in his cot, can you not just let him settle there for a bit.

TBH babies are a bit restricting, and life does (unfortunately) revolve around their naps. When I gave up trying to get dd asleep in her buggy and gave into her cot, I did feel calmer (although a bit resentful as well)

Original poster

TheJen · 27/09/2007 11:19

Will get copy of Baby Whisperer asap- thank you x

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HonoriaGlossop · 27/09/2007 11:54

I wouldn't worry; he needs what he needs.

At this age my ds would have an hour at 9am, then two or two and a half (on the odd occasion, three hours) at mid-day.

He possibly may have napped at 5pm as well, but I didn't get to that stage, as he had a 6pm bedtime.

Yes, that amount of sleep can be quite restrictive; however it meant that he was contented between naps and that was all I cared about!

Do you give him naps at certain times, or wait for him to 'lose it'? It does sound as if your ds might like the routine of naps at certain times, in his cot?

My ds would not be happy napping in his buggy either, so I did arrange life around his naps. When you have an only/first child you have the luxury of doing that, so go with it I say!

AbbyLou · 27/09/2007 11:59

I would agree that they are definitely all different, none more so than my two. Ds at 5 months had 2 hour long sleeps in the morning and a two hour one in the afternoon. I always let him have those sleeps if at all possible and he has always been a fantastic sleepr, day and night and still is at nearly 3. Dd who is almost 5 months old now is a completely different story. She slept through the night from 9 weeks but is a nightmare in the day. She catnaps if I am lucky and I really struggle to get her to sleep at all. At the mo she is in her cot screaming her head off because she is so tired but she will not drop off.

jellybelly25 · 27/09/2007 13:16

Hey jen,

it is frustrating wen you just want a visit/outing to go well and they make it a nightmare... but i think let him sleep as long as he wants to if he wakes hungry on the way then he just have to wait a bit until you arrive. that day it sounds like his sleeps were fragmented and i definitely notice that when dds naps are broken she gets really grumpy. plus if you are getting tense thinking please be good while we're out, chances are he will do the exact opposite! dunno what the answer is really. expect the worst maybe?!!

if you are very teary perhaps you have a little PND? And you are not a failure when things don't go well - i know how badly I want people to see my baby being lovely and happy and then when she isn't I get stressed and then she gets more stressed and it escalates.... awful! But I do think that happens to a lot of people, really.

jellybelly25 · 27/09/2007 13:19

everyone feels guilty about something btw.

MillieMummy · 27/09/2007 13:22

My DS is 11 months and still has three naps on most days - even though he does well over an hour at lunchtimes and doesn't wake until 6.30am. Most days ( even with the three naps) he is in bed from 6.30pm.

mamadoc · 27/09/2007 15:18

DD is also 5.5 months and she definitely gets grumpy if awake more than 2hrs. Her tired signs are yawning, rubbing eyes and she gets frustrated with toys and things more easily when tired. If I catch these and pick her up, cuddle her quietly she often falls asleep in my arms but if I miss it and let her start crying she then won't sleep and it is hell. Walking around bouncing with her screaming in my ear.
Today she is super grumpy and I am sure she has teeth coming (well at least i hope there is some explanation.)
I can totally sympathise with feeling crap also. I think its that by now you feel you ought to have it sorted and the new baby excuse is wearing a bit thin but today i phoned DH in tears at lunchtime asking him to come home early as I just couldn't stand being 1:1 with my whinging, crying baby any longer. Had planned to go out to a group but can't face it. So in summary you are definitely not the only one not enjoying your baby at the moment. Just keep saying it 'this too shall pass.'

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