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Oddities or something to be concerned about

2 replies

Thisisthelifewevebeengiven · 25/06/2020 21:01

I have put myself off starting this thread many times, I think because vocalising it is the first step in admitting there is something wrong, I just don’t know what it is 😢.

My ds is 7 and has always had what I would call little oddities, hates loud noises, doesn’t like and won’t wear anything with buttons, doesn’t like the dark etc...
But it’s becoming a real problem, we have mostly gone along with his little requests for a quiet life but as he is getting older, instead of growing out of it, he’s getting progressively worse and it is having a real effect on family life.

He hates the kitchen (too many doors) and won’t go in there alone.

He won’t go to the toilet alone.

He has to have a grown up on the same floor as the house as him (this is fairly newish, used to be ok going up and downstairs)

I really don’t know what to do, or how to help him. We mostly pander to his every whim to the detriment of everything else in the hope that he grows out of it, but it’s so unbelievably frustrating, especially when you try and explain we can’t just follow him about or jump to it the second he shouts for our attention (and he does shout, then whinge loudly and constantly if we try and get him to do things alone)

So, is it time to admit there is something wrong?

OP posts:
Donhill · 25/06/2020 23:05

My ds (8) doesn’t mind about buttons, or hate loud noises, but does everything else you describe. With my ds it is all down to fear. He seems to have a massive and active imagination/anxiety and doesn’t like going to the loo/kitchen/near windows/living room, basically wants someone with him at all times. It is very frustrating! But I was like him as a child so it doesn’t make me think there is something wrong, more just that I have to help him manage his feelings and develop healthy ways of feeling and coping with fear/anxiety without it dominating his life. I haven’t succeeded yet! I keep meaning to buy a book about kids anxiety but haven’t done so yet. Is it fear with your ds? Or are you worried about something else is going on?

Thisisthelifewevebeengiven · 26/06/2020 15:22

Thank you donhill that is reassuring, I do remember having similar feelings of fear when I was younger too so I really do get certain parts of it but I honestly feel like it is getting worse (could be effects of lockdown) and feel like I’m failing him somehow. He won’t talk about his reasons for the fear, and I know getting frustrated with him makes him worse so I am working on my responses but it’s not easy.

I was feeling sorry for myself last night after he wouldn’t let me go downstairs to watch a film with my DH and it doesn’t seem so bad in the light of day but it does sound like anxiety, I just wish I knew why he is so anxious and when is the time to get ‘help’

He would be absolutely mortified if I contacted a professional and school had knowledge of his issues, he is a completely different child at school so he can ‘control’ it to a certain extent.

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