15 month old - Should I be concerned?

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Hi,

My son has just turned 15 months old.

As a baby he had feeding issues and was failing to thrive. It was such a worrying time, but thankfully we got it sorted, although it was a long road.

I find myself worrying about him all of the time and just wondered if in this instance my worries were unfounded or if I should indeed be concerned.

Firstly, he doesn’t always respond to his name. If he’s busy with something else such as watching TV or playing with toys then it can take a few attempts. He will often (not always) respond to his older sibling first time, but rarely for me.

Pointing - He’s not really a pointer. If I ask him to point to my nose he can, or if I ask him to point to somebody he knows on a picture he can, but he doesn’t really do it willingly or to share interests with me. If we are out and about then he won’t point at a dog for example to show me. He will reach out to touch something he is interested in, such as some leaves/flowers but not point at them. I have only noticed a couple of times where he has randomly pointed at something (His gro temperature egg yesterday, and a ball on the TV last week) He just randomly pointed to both with his index finger as i’m assuming he was interested in them.
If I bring his breakfast in or a snack in and ask him “What do you want?” When it’s in my hand, then he’ll point at it, but he doesn’t routinely do this to show me he wants a drink etc or to show me something he is interested in. I feel that I always have to push/encourage it.

He babbles lots, he babbles non stop really but doesn’t say many words. He keeps trying to say “ball” but can only say “ba”
He could repeat quite a few animal sounds but appears to have lost interest in those now, loves nursery rhymes, enjoys reading books with me (particularly peek a boo books where animals are hiding under flaps) He enjoys the company of other children (I think. Hard to say because of lockdown) We had a socially distanced picnic with a friend and her kids the other day and he was happy enough seeing the kids and was very excited when my friend’s daughter was rolling a ball to him. Eye contact is fine.

He can follow my point, but he seems quite stubborn. Sometimes he’ll follow it, other times he won’t.

When out and about he likes to have a good nose at the world, loves watching cars whizz by, but as I say he doesn’t point things out to me?

His favourite TV programme came on the other day and he looked at me and smiled, which I took as a positive, but that was the only time i’ve ever noticed him do that. He doesn’t really share interests with me in general. It’s been on since and he hasn’t done it.

Right now he’s really trying to walk. He’s at his happiest cruising the furniture, exploring the house and climbing up the stairs.

He’s been pulling on 1 ear for a while and so I took him to the GP yesterday. There’s a moderate blockage of wax apparently so he’s been referred to ENT.

Just wondering if this lack of pointing in particular is a major issue in a just turned 15 month old? Everywhere you look online it appears he should be pointing at anything and everything

Our GP says you wouldn’t make any referrals until 2 years (And also said he thinks my son’s development is fine, but our GP never took his feeding issues seriously so I’m reluctant to take much heed)

Any advice appreciated.

Have a 15-month old too and all sounds normal to me? You said he can and does point - just not all the time? x

@NewMum293 God, I went on and on in that opening post. Surprised you could be bothered to read it Yes, so if I bring something to him and ask him if he wants it, he will point to it. But if it was just out of reach and he wanted it and I made no reference to it, he doesn’t seem to point at it off his own back. He will just moan and move sort of gesture towards it with his body.

Does your little one communicate efficiently? I just feel that his speech, language and communication is a little lacking? My DD hit milestones early on, and my son always seems a bit behind?

My 17 month old daughter doesn't point at anything, ever. 😂 Her understanding of language is very good though.

@CP2701 My DD is much older and I swear I didn’t worry like this over her. I never even knew pointing was a milestone thing until recently. Do you find she tries to communicate in other ways?

My eldest daughter is 15 and I am the same! My partner was asking me when she pointed... I have no clue because I wasn't looking for these kind of things back then! 😂 Maybe just because she was doing it? I honestly don't remember. But anyhow, my youngest doesn't really ask for things. If I ask her if she wants something, she will shake her head if she doesn't want it. She will come over excitedly if I ask her if she wants a biscuit... But she doesn't generally communicate to me that she wants something. But, the speech therapist said some children don't because they are given food, drinks etc constantly. Why would they need to ask for it?!

@CP2701 So does your DD see a speech and language therapist? She seems so young? I think we have too much information at our fingertips sometimes I just read things online and think “I‘m not so sure he’s there with communication” Particularly as he doesn’t really share interest with me when out for a walk in the pram. He just sits and takes it all in?

No she doesn't see one, I just phoned helpline for advice!

I think a lot of kids just sit and take it all in to be fair. She is exactly the same.

@CP2701 I just get myself so worried about it. My daughter is 10, so it’s all new to me again. Sometimes I wish I could fast forward a year so I know he’s ok Does your DD go to nursery?

I was just about to write a post about similar OP! My DS is 15 months next week and I'm slightly concerned about him too.

I recognised quite a lot of what you describe, like the being stubborn at looking when you point and not always turning to his name. He has been walking confidently for 2 or 3 months now but the only word he will say is mama. His understanding is extremely good, like he will get his shoes or his cup if I ask him where they are, will go get his changing mat if I say I need to change his nappy etc. But his speech isn't great at all, I thought he would be saying more by now!

Maybe there's just a spectrum of hitting milestones and some babies are always going to be near the bottom and others near the top? Just wanted to add my bit so you know you aren't alone in worrying!

@Bingaling30 Your boy sounds like he has amazing understanding! My boy... not so much! If I tell him to take a drink of water he will (most of the time) Or if I tell him to take his dummy out, he’ll occasionally do it, but that’s about it I think? Must practice more instructions with him.

How about the pointing? Does your son point much? I don’t know, I just can’t help but feel he’s lacking slightly in his communication.... he’s sociable though, likes other kids and people, will engage in play, but he seems unwilling or unable to express what he wants or needs adequately.

I feel like people get too hung up on pointing. Can he understand instructions? If you ask him to get his shoes or his favourite toy, can he do it? Can he wave, clap etc?

His development does sound fine. He's only 15 months and certainly wouldn't be considered delayed at this point.

Thanks everyone. Appreciate the replies.

@CP2701 He claps a lot. He often does it to instigate praise for himself. Waving, not so much. If I tell him to wave bye bye he often won’t, only occasionally he will and he follows it with “ta-ta” But it’s rare. He will sometimes wave at himself in the mirror.

Your son sounds a lot like my daughter. She claps lots and esp to initiate praise, waves sometimes but not that often, will sometimes point but more often reach for something and say “Ta!” or “Da!”

In terms of communication, she will try repeating words if encouraged (eg “Can you say bumblebee” - less often off her own steam) Her comprehension is good.

Your son seems totally normal to me! 😊

It sounds normal. My 26MO still won't respond to her name very consistently especially if engrossed in something but is otherwise a lovely social girl who plays lots of social and imaginative games and reportedly is always interacting with the other children at nursery and she is very in tune emotionally, like she recognises if I'm sad and comes and gives me a big hug. She didn't say much at 15MO either, maybe a couple of words badly but her understanding was fab. She could point pretty much any body part out and animals in a book etc and even knew quite obscure things like if I told her something was behind her etc. She is still not as strong expressively as some of her peers but I'm not worried as she does now talk in long sentences and continues to prove she's very bright. She can do a 24 piece jigsaw independently and is starting to actually be able to count things like not just rote learn the words but actually count them. I know you will get fed up of hearing it but they're all different and the world wouldn't keep spinning if they weren't. If he seems to understand and otherwise seems social then I wouldn't worry too much. I don't think ANY kid will respond to their name 100% of the time in fact I think I read once that it's much less, like less than 50%. Monitor the pointing as this is quite an important milestone but it's only a red flag if he's not doing it consistently by 18MO. And I would say unless there's numerous massive red flags for autism or learning delay then the advice I'd give any parent really is to at least give it til they're 2 as so much can change in this time. Just enjoy him and give it time xx

Thank you everyone. I really appreciate the replies. They’ve massively helped.

We were out today and walked passed a yellow bus stop. I couldn’t see his face as he was facing forward in his pram, but he pointed his index finger out to it, so I stopped and let him touch it. Is this the kind of thing that i’m looking for with pointing?
His favourite programme came on again this morning and he started babbling like crazy and looked at me and smiled as soon as the theme tune came on. I took this as a “joint attention” thing, but not sure if it is?

Right now he seems to be focusing on climbing everywhere. He doesn’t keep still. He’s standing for a while unaided but isn’t taking steps on his own yet.

I asked him to wave this morning and he shook his head for no He doesn’t point his own body parts out yet but will occasionally point to my nose and mouth when I ask.

I think maybe he’s doing ok? What do you think?

OP he sounds spot on! that is pointing you're describing. He sounds lovely. Enjoy him because I know it's cliche but they grow soooooo fast in this first couple of years it's enough to make you weep sometimes I really think you'll look at this in a couple of years and wonder what the heck you were worried about x

@Jannt86 Oh thank you so much for the reassurance. He certainly doesn’t do it very often! But good to know that’s the kind of thing we are looking for. Earlier on I pretended to cry as he’d thrown a toy and it hit me on the leg. He crawled faster than i’ve ever seen him in my life, he got upset and threw himself at me. It was so sweet but so fascinating to watch him pick up on my emotions.

I really hope developmentally all is ok, and that I can just start to enjoy him for who he is.

My DS is 15 months next week too and he is exactly the same as you have described your one- minus the pointing.

He has been walking for the past month so I think he is concentrating on exploring at the minute. The other day he was watching a nursery rhyme and he looked at me in excitement and looked back at the TV and back at me again as if he was trying to say look look. When he is out in the garden he picks up things to put it in his mouth and he knows I don't approve it, so he looks at me first and bends down to pick up a stone and looks at me again with a cheeky grin and runs off putting it into his mouth.

He brought me a book the other day and saw his dads sunglasses on the table, so he saw that and picked it off the table and ran towards DH and gave it to him. So I'm thinking this is all coming together hopefully which will follow with the pointing.

One of the posters mentioned because we feed and give them their drinks, they end up not asking for it. My DS is still breastfed and he puts his hands up in the air so I could carry him and then he pulls my top and helps himself. We have no verbal communication as well although it used to be mama baba memi dada and now gavgav which I don't know what that means.