Hello and hope everyone is keeping safe.
First of all I would like to say my 4 year old is very independent in many ways and as expected for 4 year old milestones.
However, there is one area which seems he has never progressed much in and that is independent play. I'm not sure whether its because he's a single child or whether we'd made a rod for our own back by giving him so much attention from being a baby but he just doesn't seem able to entertain himself for longer than 2 minutes and its driving me a bit mad especially since he is not at nursery anymore.
This will probably sound like I'm complaining and sure enough I have felt SO much guilt about thinking this way, but I have tried lots of things to get him to play independently.
- I will play with him for a while to make sure his emotional bucket is filled, then afterwards when I say I'm just going to do something (usually cooking or cleaning - life of a SAHM), he will abandon the activity we were playing and say 'mummy play with meeee' or ask 'why?' or say things that break my heart like 'mummy you're my best friend' to try get me to continue playing with him.
- I tried using prompts, we'd been playing one of those sticky ball target games together (its new and he loves playing it), I'd challenge him by saying 'right I'm just going off to do (chores), why don't you try see how many times you can get that ball in the middle or in the 100s', but he wouldn't carry on and mope around instead.
- Theres been times he looks around looking bored and sad, I say to him 'look in your toy boxes, you have so many toys, why don't you go see what you'd like to play with.'
Even when he was a baby, he wouldn't go looking around pulling drawers or ornaments to play with.
- I make up stories with him, role play with him and try to encourage him to role play by himself but he will only do so if I literally ignore him or I fall asleep for a nap.
- I try to get him outdoors a lot, especially when the weather is nice and even when its not, but it seems he's more of an indoor child. I literally have to entice him outside to play in the garden many times.
Otherwise, I'd take him to the park, but once again, if his friends aren't there to play with him, he will get bored after a while and mope around.
- My husband works from home, so he will sometimes take over during breaks to play with him too, but most of the time, he only wants to play with me.
He is definitely a social butterfly which I respect, but I want to encourage him to develop independent play too which I think is very important for creativity, self-discipline, confidence, etc.
Is it cruel for me to expect/want this off of him? What else can I do?
Should I just accept it and carry on playing with him as he will eventually get there?