17mth old screams when she wants something - help!

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My first dd never screamed and was an all round well behaved little girl but number two is a real little shocker. I guess it because she has to fight for attention and her older sister does tend to take everything off her without asking. I have been trying to explain to her older sister that she has to treat her little sister with respect like she does with her friends because otherwise she is teaching her bad behaviour.

Whenever my 17th old dd wants something she does not just point it and moan she lets out this high pitched screech - bursts our eardrums and she has such a temper and throws herself on the ground if she does not get to wash her hands twice etc. I tell her not to touch the tv and try to distract her moving her to her toys or another part of the room but she screams her head off and upsets her big sister.

I started using the naughty spot with my older one when she was 2.5yrs, dd2 is only 17mths and I know she would not understand so how do you discipline someone her age?

thank you

IMHO its definately not too young for being put somewhere with no attention given when she screams. She may not understand everything or be able to apologise, however, she needs to learn that screaming does not get her what she wants. Remove to somewhere on her own. Go into her once she stops screaming and say 'OK, now you have stopped screaming you can come back in and play.' She will learn.

hello

what about when she can see me trying to open a pack of raisins for her, she starts to scream and cry with impatience.

she i stop, say something like no shouting and put her in the hall for 1 min - would she understand?

my ds is just 19 months and i sat him on the step yesterday
they are feisty these subsequent borns

so 'yes' i think she would understand

bump

DD, who is 13 months, has done this occasionally. She has also started throwing mini tantrums if she doesn't get her way. She is definitely too young for a naughty step, so I watch this with interest

Sorry I am not more help btw

my dd is 22m and has no immediate siblings that she lives with.

she has had a couple of phases of screaming and on the whole I try to ignore it. at worst I will say something like "goodness gracious, you're noisy! how about we do xyz etc". mind you, it's not temper screaming just attention screaming at that point.

the paddy she pulls when I don't do something quickly enough is a bit different. i keep talking to her as i'm opening the raisins or whatever and let her know i am doing it.

if it escalates i stop what i'm doing and kneel down and ask her to look at me. that usually has the effect of the paddy subsiding and then i say "calm down sweetheart, i'm getting your xyz. would you like to give bear some raisins" etc etc

it's all just calm and distract strategies!

making eye contact is a big thing for me as it means she's paying attention to me. and making eye contact conveniently stops her shaking her head about which is an integral part of her paddy!

HTH, I am hoping the screaming is another phase over soon. it drives me nuts but i try really hard not to react to it!

This is just a theory but I think this is learnt behaviour
Eg in our house dd learnt that if ds hit her and she screamed I would come running so she translated that to screaming at everything to get attention
I guess it depends on your dd's speech but I say (my dd is now 2 but have been doing this for quite a while) 'no screaming, you say what you want' and she would quiet down and say 'milk' or 'nana' or 'dolly' or whatever. I repeated and repeated and it seems to have sunk in. Now she is pretty articulate and it is much easier to do.
Seems to be a common problem with a)girls and b)second children