DS4 is displaying evil tendencies

[longtimecomin]

So my son is a lovely calm intelligent boy but is obsessed with Halloween, anything creepy, he will often find a worm or beetle in the garden, say it's his new pet. Within half an hour it's dead. I now don't let him play with bugs.

Since lockdown, I've been working full time from home, work has been really full on. I've left my DD13 in charge of my son, with a list of activities ie colour a picture, take the dog around the block, play games on ceebeebies etc. But he ends up on her phone watching YouTube. Now he's obsessed with slender man, granny, five nights at Freddie's, hello neighbour, all this creepy stuff.

Sometimes he tries to hurt our dog, a kick or shove here or there.

I'm worried because there was a thing on Netflix about a cat killer, what if his natural tendency is to be cruel?

Which professional organisation can help me with this? It it the doc or health visitor?

Bump

Another bump ....

I’m not in your position but wanted to offer some ideas. Give your hv a call. They should be able to point you in the right direction if you’re worried about mental health or parenting during lockdown, but please don’t think of your son as evil. It sounds like he wants your attention (positive or negative) and has found that creepy-crawlies do the job. Also if the dog is a new pet, he’s mirroring you perhaps, in the hope of being included?

It’s hard for a13yo to care for a preschooler- my father had to do this for his younger siblings in school holidays and he resented it. What is your usual childcare arrangement? Can you sign your son up for nursery so he has some more directed activities? In the time being, switch on parental controls on your daughter’s internet access and YouTube; make sure she knows it isn’t good for her brother to be on a phone.

And if your son wants to show you bugs, don’t act disgusted - get him a book on insects, take an interest so he knows they’re interesting rather than creepy, make sure he knows that worms live in the soil not in houses etc. And the dog bullying is perhaps because he is jealous, as though you’re focusing on wfh you’re then spending spare time on a dog and not him. If you post in the doghouse board they’ll be able to give you advice on how to give dogs and kids attention so they don’t feel like rivals for your love.

Hope something here reassures you and helps a bit - it’s so hard wfh with kids!

That stuff he is watching is way too creepy for his age - and inappropriate. If my older child was letting my younger child look at things like that I would confiscate the phone until they learned not too.

Sorry I'm not trying to be judgy but there's only one way he is getting access to such creepy material at such a young and that's because you're allowing it. That stuff would mess with even your 13YO's head never mind the LO. Neither should be allowed to watch it IMO. I would just accept that the 13YO just isn't mature enough to be responsible for the 4YO. I would remove their access to YouTube and anything else inappropriate and find someone else to look after your son.

I wouldn't worry about the bugs. He's 4 and it doesn't sound like he's maliciously killing them or anything just fascinated with them. Like said above maybe share that interest and get some stuff about insects and hunt for bugs when you're going on walks

It really doesn't sound like there's anything seriously unhealthy about what he's doing but there might be if he's allowed to carry on watching whatever crap his sister can find him on YouTube
.... it sounds like you just need to sort that out

And within reason I think it's normal to get a bit carried away with pets at this age. Just mirror how you want him to treat the pet and a bit of 'time in' time away from the pet if needed