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Help is this a psychological thing?

2 replies

Focusanddetermination · 13/06/2020 10:01

So I was cleaning up in y daughter's room this morning. She is 6. Moved a big bag of stuff and weirdly felt my foot was wet - there was a pool of water on the floor but I didn't understand how it could have got there. Bent down and sniffed it, it smelt like wee. I called my daughter upstairs and asked 'what is that', she looked shifty but I got her to say it was wee. Her room is right next to the bathroom, so I asked why she had weed there and not on the toilet. She said she hadn't had an accident but had decided to wee in her room.

For context, she has never had toilet training issues, was quickly out of even night nappies and has never had an accident or wet the bed. Is generally a very compliant child, easy to manage. I remained calm though was angry inside. Told her she cannot do that as it is not like normal water and will smell very bad. Took her ipad away (the only thing she really cares about most days), and made her press a towel on top. I will have to clean the rest to make sure it is gone and she will have to earn her ipad back.

Can anyone tell me WHY she might have done this and whether I should be concerned? I see how it could be pure child curiosity, but concerned it could be some kind of psychological response to lockdown. She has been at home for about 13 weeks now, on her own, no other parents or siblings around and I will admit I have been working full time and she has lacked attention, though I've done my best. I have been more angry than usual - and apologised after the fact when I've directed it at her, but worried this weird behaviour could be something I've caused.

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Poppinjay · 13/06/2020 23:16

I can't suggest a reason behind this behaviour but I think you need to consider why you've taken away something she enjoys at a time like this and what that will achieve.

Presumably you've never told her not to wee in her bedroom before and you must be questioning whether she understands what a horrible thing it is to do because you've explained to her that it's not like water. Given those two things, is a punishment really necessary? If she's struggling with lockdown, this could be counterproductive.

Behaviour management strategies only really work when you understand the behaviour you're trying to manage, the sanction is linked to the behaviour and you know what you want the sanction to achieve. I suspect those don't apply here.

I'd give her back the iPad and find some talking opportunities. Find some jobs to do together, go for a walk or something else that could open up a channel of communication. Hopefully you'll get a better idea of the root of this behaviour and how to manage it.

NuffSaidSam · 14/06/2020 19:33

If it's just this once I wouldn't worry about it, it's just curiousity probably. Or maybe laziness.

I wouldn't have taken the iPad either. Just telling her not to do it again should be sufficient for a first offence.

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