I am fairly certain my 14 month old is autistic and my world crumbled...

[AlexShi]

I think I just need some mental support.
My 13,5 month old does almost everything on the spectrum, he is obsessed with spinning, repetitive behavior, doesn't point or bring me stuff, he reacts to his name but doesn't look me in the eyes for more than 2 seconds and some other things, like he can't fall asleep unless he is biting his favorite blanket and rocking himself.

I didn't think is was all unusual until I found out what a toddler his age should be doing and what are the signs of autism.

Now I know it's only a matter of time before he is diagnosed but I feel so stressed and so depressed I can't sleep or eat. I can't work or focus on anything except thinking about what future may hold for us.

I just need some support... I live far away from my family and friends and my family doesn't believe my fears, they think my son is fine but they only see him via Skype. My husband agrees with me.

Tanks to anybody who will take time to reply.

Im going through the same right now with my 2 year old. She has some traits of autism and it's absolutely heartbreaking to not know her future. I'm so scared too x

Me too, I was about to comment about name calling when I read your thread. My son never responds to his name, hand strims and spins things all the time. He also notices intricate details on things (screws etc) and focuses on them. I can never really get him to engage with me. I’m so scared and don’t know what to do.

It looked like my second child was autistic, he wasn't but had a severe delay. My greatest fear was that he would remain non-verbal and not be able to communicate, I found the website teachmetotalk and the book
An Early Start for your Child with autism really useful, when he was two I got him speech therapy with someone who specialised in very young children, he got extra funded 1-1 help at nursery who worked with the speech therapist because even without a diagnosis (which takes time) a Paediatrician can make the LEA pay for extra help at nursery.

You can't control what will happen in the future and focusing on it will do nothing but upset you and make you ill. Enjoy your little boy for how he is and help him to progress in whatever way you can.

My son is on the severe end of the spectrum. Our life is far from miserable, he's a wonderful young man (he's 10). He needs extra help and always will but that's okay. We have adapted to his needs and everything is second nature now.

If your son does get a diagnosis the world won't end! You'll adapt, you'll help him to progress with support and you'll still love him just the same.

Try not to worry too much. 13 months is very young to be so focused on what they can and can't do. I remember being so worried about my DS, and compared him to friends children thinking they were so different. It all sort of balances out in the end. At 13 montgs, some children are more advanced physically and some more with communication.. you don't as often get children that do both at the same time. It's like their brain can only focus on one thing.

Have a look online for the ages and stages questionnaire for 13 months, it's the one a HVs send out and can give you an idea where he's at.

Try and channel your worry into thinking of games you can play together to help him develop e.g. games for eye contact like peekaboo, pointing games, can you find the flower/cow/car - then you point. Try teaching him to look for just a few things you see a lot when out then he'll learn quicker. It's probably bit dull for you but won't be for him.

I've no experience with autism, and presumably there are different levels, so even if he is it may not be as bad as you think. Also, I believe that with the right kinds of stimulation and upbringing for such a young child can make a huge difference. Put in the work and I am sure it will pay off in the long run. Also, I wanted to say I completely get that feeling that your world has crumbled. I have experienced it with a child twice but for different reasons to yours. It's as if your dreams and expectations are shattered. I've came to realise that things happen we've no control over, and that I took too much for granted. Also admittedly I could have made a better job of things which still hurts, so do the best you can and at least you can say you did under the circumstances.

Thank you everyone for the positive comments!
My boy made some progress this week once we started to pay more attention to his development. He can now point with his hand (not yet with a finger) and let us know what he wants. He also started bringing me some toys when he wants me to ply with him. I think this is a great sign. He still has an obsession with spinning stuff and exhibits some other autistic traits. He hasn't spoken yet. I am hopeful that if it is what I think it is, it may not be very severe. Also, me and my husband kind of accepted that he may be different from what we imagined and just going to make the best of his and our lives. Initially I was devastated but once I got familiar with the topic it stopped being so scary. Also, he is making progress so that makes me optimistic.

Thank you again for your support!

@AlexShi How is your son doing now?

@AlexShi how is your baby now x

@bbb2019may i ask how your baby is now? im in the same boat xx

Hi!
He is doing well. He is now officially diagnosed and started elementary school. He is talking and is quite independent in everything. He has some quirks and some trouble adapting to new environments along with trouble focusing. Otherwise he is a great kid! He went a long way since the time I posted here.