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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

How can i stop dd2 from screaming?

26 replies

Beauregard · 20/09/2007 22:38

She screams a lot,short sharp screams ,the purpose being to annoy or gain attention or ask for something.
Its so loud it hurts my ears .

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Original poster

Beauregard · 20/09/2007 22:39

By the way she is 21 months and very trying.

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ChasingSquirrels · 20/09/2007 22:40

give her what she wants - quickly!
sorry, my 19mo just points and grunts, but it is just her way of communicating atm. It will pass.

Hattie05 · 20/09/2007 22:41

ignore ignore ignore.

you said yourself the purpose is to annoy or gain attention, so don't give it.

Perhaps the first time she does it say " i can't understand you when you make that noise." and then ignore from then on until she makes sense - then praise.

whomovedmychocolate · 20/09/2007 22:41

I'm assuming you've tried not responding.

How about a naughty step?

Or gaffer tape?

Original poster

Beauregard · 20/09/2007 22:41

But should i be giving in to this behaviour?

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Original poster

Beauregard · 20/09/2007 22:42

x posts

I have tried ignoring but we live in a semi detached so it isn't fair on the neighbours.
Is she too young for the naughty step?

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stiefyloo · 20/09/2007 22:43

It's as if you had read my mind. Have had a rubbish, NOISY day/night which culminated in my screaming even louder at DH that I could not bear one second more of it and would be putting DD2 in the garden until she shut up unless he did something.

Original poster

Beauregard · 20/09/2007 22:44

It is sooooooo stressful i know .

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ChasingSquirrels · 20/09/2007 22:45

can she speak yet?
You can try ignoring and reasoning, or you can try responding to her needs - it depends exactly what she is doing it for, is she doing it when you have been MN'ing for a while and she wants some attention or is she doing it while you are doing things with her. Does she want something and can't communicate this to you, or is it really just to annoy you?
I think you have to look at why she is doing it and address it accordingly, if it is to communicate needs then if these needs are reasonable then try to meet them, if it is simply to annoy you for now reason then I guess you might take a different tack.

Hattie05 · 20/09/2007 22:45

I think it is too young for naughty step. And realistically it isn't naughty. I think you have to say 'sod the neighbours' on this one, and ignore because any other way and you are just giving her reason to carry on doing it. Even putting a 21mth old on the naughty step would be entertaining enough for them to keep on screaming (it would have been for my dd anyway!)

stiefyloo · 20/09/2007 22:46

DD2 a bit older - 3. Hoped she would quieten down a bit once we got over the 2's but not so much. DS only 10 mths and worry it's making him scaredy and jumpy.

Original poster

Beauregard · 20/09/2007 22:47

She only speaks a few words like mama ,dada,car.
It seems to be her solution to everything tbh.

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ChasingSquirrels · 20/09/2007 22:48

If she was more fluent then I would probably crack down on it a bit more, but if she can't communicate with you yet then it is probably VERY frustrating for her.
I think a mixture of meeting her reasonable (to you) demands and distraction at other times would be what I would do.

stiefyloo · 20/09/2007 22:48

Have considered screaming back, a la, the supermarket mum in the advert. Think it looks quite theraputic and maybe quite fun.

Original poster

Beauregard · 20/09/2007 22:51

I have tried the distraction route and she just ignores me so i have to shout and then she screams more.

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Original poster

Beauregard · 20/09/2007 22:53

I am sure i have made her a difficult child (i was very depressed prior to,during and following the pregancy)

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stiefyloo · 20/09/2007 22:53

Have a chocolate biscuit or six. I find that I don't mind the screaming as much when I'm shoveling chocolate biscuits down my thoat, faster that I can swallow them. ;)

ChasingSquirrels · 20/09/2007 22:53

stick her out in the garden where you can't hear and hope it passes soon then?...It must be very frustrating for both of you, I hope she gets over it soon.

stiefyloo · 20/09/2007 22:54

Do you have any other children?

Original poster

Beauregard · 20/09/2007 22:56

lol @ the choccie biscuits

Yes Stiefy i have another dd.

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FluffyMummy123 · 20/09/2007 22:57

Message withdrawn

Hattie05 · 20/09/2007 22:57

i'm sure she is not difficult pelvicfloor! don't blame yourself you'll only give yourself more reason to be depressed.

I had a screamer also, even though they don't have much speach, they can understand words. So explaining to her that you are going to ignore her until she stops making the noise should make her realise she is not gaining.
Once she starts trying to communicate without screaming - whether it be pointing, pulling your trouser let or simply saying mum then smother with praise for not screaming and give her what she wants. If you do this consistently she will get the message.

Original poster

Beauregard · 20/09/2007 22:58

Ah now you see my dilemma then cod!

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stiefyloo · 20/09/2007 23:01

Mine are DD - 6, NOISY DD - 3 and DS - 10 mths and I think in our case is all about displacement. Now that I have 3, I totally get the 'middle child' thing but I worry too about how my job-related stress impacted on the kind of child she is. Also, although DH and I have a good relationship, we do tend to bicker and shout at each other a lot, so I put some of it down to the fact that every day she sees shouting as a way to make a point. All makes sense really.

HonoriaGlossop · 20/09/2007 23:05

I honestly think your best option is ignoring. Naughty step is age inappropriate and plain inappropriate - this doesn't warrant punishment, surely! Shouting back at her turns it into a fantastic game, I can almost see her little eyes lighting up from here

I agree with telling her you can't talk to her when she makes that noise, then ignore.

Sod the neighbours. It won't go on long enough to be a real problem.

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