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I think this could be the start of bullying, what do I do ?

2 replies

elfsmum · 20/09/2007 14:58

DS1 is 7 and now in year 3.

When in year 2 he became best friends with child A, very close according to their teacher. They make friends with children B and C and occasionally play with child D.

child A decides that he doesn't want to be friends with DS whilst still in year 2, DS gets upset, and starts acting out. Teacher spoke to me about his behaviour and told me that they had been best friends and but A didn't want to be friends any more, she had spoken to him and told him he can't just pick up and drop friends and be mean to them.

he has told my son to go away from all of them, said his teeth are yellow, and some other name calling.

I watched at a party when child A watched DS and went in opposite direction, started crying no-one would play with him, i said DS will, he said no I don't want him to he upsets me by following me.

They went into year 3 and DS tries to play with children A, B and C, previously only child A said go away, now they are saying (all of them) that they hate him and he can't play anymore.

He was in tears in bed last night telling me.

He is playing now with child D and it's just the two of them.

I worry that if child D if off for any reason DS will be left alone.

I've told him to ignore the others that they are being mean, and to play with D and to try and play with other boys as well.

Do I let the school know this has happened ?
have I done the right thing with DS ?
Am I best to try to equip him to deal with things like this, and what else can I do?

please tell me he will be o.k. and this is just a playground thing that will pass.

I worry that it's been going on for a long time now with child A who clearly dislikes DS now, but I don't know why, the teacher didn't know and DS doesn't know either.

OP posts:
hertsnessex · 20/09/2007 16:46

spk to childs A's parents if you know them?

i reckon his school need to know as child A does sound like a bully.

encourage friendship with child D - invite him over etc.

sleepfinder · 20/09/2007 20:29

You sound like you've done exactly the right thing already. You listened to your son, reassured him, told him to play with child D and to try and play with other boys as well.

Thats the best advice - getting on with as many other people as possible and not worrying about the clique / bully boys.

I've not had this with my son yet, but I had it myself around 8 / 9 yrs old. Its utterly bemusing at the time as you can find no concrete reason for it, and its terribly upsetting. You grow up realising the kids who do it are usually fairly narrow minded when they get older and have issues while you've had a chance to make some interesting friends with other people along the way.

I really feel for your DS on this, children can be so mean to each other.

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