16mo ds has melt down if i stop him playing with something

[insywinsyspider]

ds gets really absorbed in playing with a toy or in sand pit for example and if I have to stop him ie time to go out or for lunch he has a melt down, I know its because he's enjoying what he's doing and is frustrated because he doesn't want to stop but I don't know how to tell him we're about to do something else and let him wind down from what he's doing, when we had this trouble at bath time we resolved it quickly by telling him bath time was over and pulling the plug when there is no water he knows its finished, obviously telling him '5 mins before we go out' will have no meaning... any advice? (I'm 28 wks pg and its getting frustrating and tiring!)

you need to keep on saying in a minute its time to do X, they have no concept of time so if you can say when muumy has done XYZ its time to stop doing Y that may help. It will takea whwile to sink in but it works.

If you can relate your warnings to what he is doing that might help as well - eg let's build one more sandcastle/go once more down the slide, then we have to go to... [making wherever you are going sound as interesting as you can]. Maybe give him a snack once you are on the way to distract him?

My ds of a similar age doesn't mind leaving the playground but has a huge tantrum if I say he can't play with my keys because I need to unlock the door/throw my glass of water on the floor/etc. If I have the energy, distraction works well but often I just roll my eyes and ignore it.

We had similar issues at the swings (DS is 18m) so I now say to him - last few pushes, or another couple of minutes, or last go (if he was on the slide). This has really helped. Even though he doesn't understand time, just the fact I've said something seems to really help.

sounds like something I just have to ride out until he can grasp the conept a bit better then! thanks for the tips tho at least it gives me something to try, he dosn't talk get but he does baby signing - do you think a 'times almost up' sign would help? think I'd have to invent one

I think it would help yes.

Even tho he doesn;t talk, if hes hearing Ok he will understand a lot already, worth teling him theings even if you have no sign for them.
BTW- try a spread hand for "5" minutes saying "5 minutes to go" as well ( even if its only 2 minutes in reality), then count it down if you like.

What worked best for our boy was telling him it was time to say bye bye to what ever toy and moving away from it smartish and onto something else. geting him to fetch his shoes was a good one if we were going out.

good ideas unisarah, he understands bye bye and waves so might try that one after telling him times almost up, also he's trying to put his shoes on so think I should play on that - thanks again

just wanted to update in case anyone was having the same frustration - we seem to be doing really well with waving bye bye - to the point it takes him ages to leave a toy as he walks a few steps turns waves to it, walks a few more steps turns and waves to etc etc until we get to the dorr to put his shoes on but that 5 mins beats the tantrum! also holding up 1 finger and saying last one or 1 minute helps too

thanks for the advice everyone, really appreciated the ideas!