Baby won't sleep in crib!

[KrystleA]

My boy is 9 weeks old and has never been able to sleep in his crib. He sleeps absolutely fine in our arms and on our chests, but the second you put him down, he wakes up and cries.
There's also the issue where he wants to be held constantly, and we have to walk to get him settled - otherwise he'd cry and wriggle till kingdom comes.

I've asked around and most mothers say that every baby is different and that they'll eventually grow out of it when they're ready. But the hubs is really concerned that baby will grow to depend on us and it will be worse as he grows. He's getting heavier too, which hurts our wrists when we carry him.

I love showering my baby with affection and to be honest, I don't mind him sleeping on my chest (I sleep fine that way too, it doesn't make me uncomfortable or anything), yet at the same time I have the same worries as my husband.

What should I do??

EDIT: My husband even started to wonder if the skin-to-skin when baby is born might somehow encourage unnecessary attachment.

He's 8 weeks old. Look up the fourth trimester. Baby still doesnt realise you are two separate people.

Do you have a next to me cot you can put at your side of the bed so you can touch him while he sleeps? That and swaddling helped us get my son down at nights.

He is still very, very tiny! It’s torally normal for him to be attached to you. It would be extremely concerning if he wasn’t and it sounds like your husband has a very warped understanding of what babies need!

Babies want to survive and, and this point, being away from you is scary for them because, to be blunt, without you they will die. I really don’t understand this need for parents to make sure their children don’t need them to fall asleep......

I agree with the suggestion of a next to me - my lo loves his. He won’t sleep anywhere other than in a sling or his next to me, pram etc doesn’t work. Have you considered a sling for day time naps to save your arms? It’s no problem at all for me, I barely notice him there anymore!

I’m sorry if I’m telling you what you already know, but the SIDS risk is very high for a baby sleeping on your chest whilst you are asleep in bed or on the sofa. I would suggest you either stay awake whilst doing this or put baby down. If you do choose to co-sleep, there are guidelines on how to keep the SIDS risk that this brings to a min available

Thank you so much for your replies! I'm not too sure what the difference between a regular crib and a next to me is though 😅
@Eggcellent29 thank you, knowing that it's normal is such relief. I have a normal rocking crib that we've put right next to me, and if he gets restless, we've tried patting him gently and softly shushing him but it doesn't work. He basically won't settle until you carry him and rock him back to sleep.

Don't get me wrong, my husband has been great and patient with the baby, he's just frustrated that we can't seem to get anything done as baby wants to be carried all the time (if one of us has something to do, the other has to carry baby).
We're just wondering if it's worth spending time and energy trying to get him to lie on his own or just leave him be and let him eventually do it at his own pace?

Don’t worry, mine is the same! He will go in the next to me when he’s dead asleep, but will he be patted/soothed in there to sleep? Will he fuck!

Have you considered using a dummy? I know not everyone likes them, but they can be helpful and they lower SIDS risk.

I would go with let him do it as his own pace. If you invest in a sling, you will still be able to do things as your arms/hands will be free. I’ve just run the hoover round, made breakfast and had a cuppa with bubba in the sling! Now I’m going to pop to the shop, all with him snoozing away.

Although I only have one LO, I work with babies and can say from years of putting hundreds of babies to sleep, you can do all the tricks etc and some babies just won’t play ball and some will.

The way I look at it, if I spend hours/days/weeks trying to get baby to sleep alone, I still can’t get anything else done and we are all exhausted/miserable! Might as well give in and at least be happy 😂

I meant to ask - how is bubba at being put down when he’s awake? Does he like to be on the play mat etc?

@Eggcellent29 oh that's great to know! Hahaha. Yes he has a dummy but he has his moods, sometimes he takes them while others it's almost like a game, he spits it back out every time it goes in his mouth! 🤦🏻‍♀️😆

He has his moods lying down too, but even if he does, it's not too long. Sometimes he'll be chatty and can 'talk' for up to 20 mins. Other times the minute he goes down, the opera starts. 🤣

Oh god, the dummy spitting game is he worst!!! I try to put his hand up near his face so he can’t spit it out.....never works 😂

Baby opera 😂😂 can’t see that selling out!

We've tried just holding it in his mouth for a second so he doesn't spit it out.. doesn't work cos it makes the fat lady sing! 🤣🤣

Also... Baby opera has the ability to clear a room in 0.01 seconds, don't underestimate their power! Hahahaha

This is very very normal OP! Don’t worry, he will grow out of it but he’s still so little at the moment and you’re all he knows. Have you tried putting down a worn tshirt of yours in the crib and a hot water bottle to prewarm it? The smell of you and the warmth might help soothe him. Definitely helped our DD and we used the same method again when we moved her from her Moses basket into her cot. Also putting the crib in a dark room really helped.

My DD is 22 weeks and still has her daytime naps on me (not going to lie - I absolutely love it and sod what people think because it makes us both happy!). I’m getting my fill of sleepy baby cuddles while I can!

@attillathenun haha yeah I've tried the worn tshirt thing worked maybe twice, and then the little bugger wised up I think haha!

Oh TELL ME ABOUT IT, I know about the risks of SIDS and all but I secretly love my boy sleeping on me! 😁

This post could have been written by me one year ago !! Literally word by word .

I was in tears thinking I had spoiled my baby with too much skin to skin and obviously I was concerned that at night he was sleeping on me ( which is unsafe but honestly , I had no choice and I was careful about it )

I tried everything , every night . At 13 or 14 weeks he started sucking his thumb and suddenly could self settle . After that he was able to sleep in his own crib 😅 but with every sleep regression he would want back in my arms . From around 9 or 10 months old he finally started sleeping completely independently and has been now for 5 months .

Now I look back on his newborn days and realise you can’t spoil a baby with skin to skin and some babies just need to be held more.

@MichelleOR84 YAAASSSSSS. 🤣 Haha it's so reassuring to know that I'm not 'breaking' my baby (because in all honesty I secretly love hugging my baby to sleep 😅)