2 year old VERY passive!

[sibbys]

My friend has a son who just turned 2. He can't talk. He can repeat "hi" 1 out of 20 times we ask him to though. He is very passive ; he never makes adults around him look at him, he doesn't seem to mind if anyone picks him up, he is never fussy about anything (he just accepts everything and anything). He does understand what we ask him to do (like sit down, come over here) but only responds with a weird noise "hum". He can't point out colours or animals.
I'm worried he is either under stimulated at home or he is severely low on the IQ scale. I have tried to ask my friend about what she thinks about him not speaking but it is clearly a very sensitive subject and she just says "it will be fine". Would you be worried or have you EVER met a 2 year old like this? What do you think?

Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do. Your friend may have already sought help and I'd just too upset to discuss it.

Just let her know that you are always there for her and she might find MN useful too

It's really up to your friend to seek help if she, the person who is around him most, thinks there's reason to. It's a bit rude to assume that just because this child doesn't do certain things when he's around you that either he's basically not very bright or not being stimulated. Some kids just have no interest in 'showing off' It could be that he's more capable than he's willing to show you right now. Or it could be that he is behind and your friend is aware of it and potentially worried sick herself and trying desperately to stimulate him to help him catch up and to get help for him. Naming colours is an age 3 skill. Some 2YOs get it but it's more an age 3 skill. The other things it's very hard to know especially given that you aren't even his main care giver. The best thing you can do is be there for your friend and be sensitive. If there are additional needs emerging for her child then she will need a good friend x

@Jannt86 We see him nearly every day and spend hours with him babysitting him once or twice a week. It isn't meant to sound rude at all. She doesn't seem to worry about it and spends 80% of her time when at our house on her iphone watching facebook and snapchats. She might just be tired - who knows. I am just really worried and I feel horrible not helping him if there is something I can do to help him develop normally.

Then if you know this child this well and are so invested in his care then at some point you're going to have to decide whether you have a duty of care to this child and your conscience may dictate that you say something. You will have to guage how serious the issue is though and I would tread carefully as nobody likes their parenting skills criticised. I see people close to me with less than perfect parenting but I also know that I'm far from perfect myself and that none of us can be perfect and most are just muddling along trying our best to get it right. I would only personally say something if I thought that the child was in genuine danger of suffering. Ultimately however fond you are of this child it's up to his mum to raise him right and make decisions about his care but you will have to decide if and how to raise the issue if you feel strongly about it.

Does he go to nursery at all? they tend to be good raising any concerns with parents if any (in their opinion) are present - but I do agree with you, the not trying to interact with any adults around him or not being able to point out any animal or colour in a book does not sound like what you would expect at 24M.

@AladdinMum He does and he is the first to get dropped off and last to get picked up - so they know him really well.

If you are looking after him, there are some simple things you can do to encourage his speech here.

@sibbys then I would let nursery raise concerns if they feel there are any (it is their duty to report concerns to the parents and bring in professional help if needed).