Daughter tormenting the cat!

[GBKJ102218]

Our cat is 8 years old and is extremely good with children - she has put up with all the common issues of having a baby/toddler around her and never reacts. Just has a grumpy face!

My daughter who will be 5 in June has started to really torment the cat over the last 3 weeks. Every day she will pull her, pick her up, poke her and rest all her body weight on her. It breaks my heart because my daughter has never done this before but her behavior around the cat feels like she is crying for attention.

No matter how many times we ask her not to do it, explain to her why not to and other things such as getting her to write the needs of a pet to be happy and healthy - which she thought of all the right things including love and care. I explained that what she is doing isnt loving nor caring and she agrees yet still does it!

The cat has put up with all of it and has never scratched or anything. I cant quite believe it! But I never leave them alone now as I am worried that one day the cat will just have enough and the last thing I want is a big scratch on my daughters face.

Now, I don't know if this is all down to boredom of lockdown and/or because we also have a newborn who is now 4 weeks old. Everything has changed massively for my daughter all of a sudden, no school, not seeing friends or family and now a new sister.

We are making sure that DD1 still gets attention, we tell her we love her all the time and have massive patience with her.

I have tried correcting the behaviour toward the cat and also just ignoring it but she persists until I intervene. I'm so worried that either the cat or my daughter will end up hurt. I've shown her videos on YouTube on how to correctly pet a cat etc and she agrees with it all just wont stop messing her about still!

How do I stop this!?!

Sorry for the long post!

I think like you it's probably a reaction to the new arrival and lockdown.

I think she's old enough now though for some gentle discipline. Every time she does it, I would completely ignore her and make a huge fuss of the cat, maybe take it to another top of it's the kind of cat you can pick up?

I'm certain its because of all the changes. I've spoken with her again about it tonight, and she knows it's the wrong thing to do and she says she doesnt know why she is doing it. Which she wont, she is 4 and doesnt have a clue how to handle these emotions. I'll carry on the ignoring tactic and see how it goes. Hopefully if I stick to it for a few days she will stop. I have suggested a talking spot in the house for her to ask me to go to with her if she wants to tell me something, so I might suggest when she is doing it if she wants to go to have a talk instead?

I have suggested a talking spot in the house for her to ask me to go to with her if she wants to tell me something, so I might suggest when she is doing it if she wants to go to have a talk instead?

Personally, I wouldn't do this as she will be getting rewarded for being mean to the cat by having some one-to-one time with you.

I did think that to be honest, I've tried everything. Im hoping it just passes in time. Prepare for this to continue until we get back some normality I guess.

Not an expert on 5yo, more so on the animals in question but. I agree, the cat will hurt your daughter at some point when pushed too close to the limit.

I also agree it is connected to the baby. Maybe tell your daughter to help you to introduce the baby to the cat by talking to the baby about what cats need and how they have to be treated, so she has an outlet for her emotions towards the baby as well as the cat.

I like the talking corner part and I don't think it is rewarding bad behaviour. Any communication is good communication so having her talk to you is essential. Maybe try to catch the moment before the cat behaviour gets too extreme and ask her "is there something you would like to tell me, shall we go and talk".

Also kids at this age cannot articulate emotions so you have to say it for them, say "I think you feel XYZ, is it so"? and then also "when you feel like this, you can try doing (suggest what she can do to feel better that does not include tormenting the cat :-D )".

Sorry, not too much help probably, but maybe worth a try. Good luck with two kids and a cat in lockdown!

Thanks Zookeeper. That's a really welcomed response.

I read my daughter an article about what a cat growl means and it seems to have sunk in a little and she knows it's the cat asking her to stop. She has still tormented her though. I think she sees it as playing still.

I'll keep going with the methods and your suggestions and hope that it calms down. Although I dont think it will till our lives have some level of normality back into them!