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Will only sleep on me in day, HELP!

22 replies

Hannah7 · 17/09/2007 09:47

Hi, ive got a 6month old 'high needs' little boy! He is very demanding e.g very whingey, hard to entertain, hates his pram etc. One big problem is that he will only sleep on me in the daytime. I have tried to do the controlled crying but that makes him go absolutely mad, sitting with him stroking his head etc but to no avail. On the very few occasions he has actually gone to sleep anywhere other than on me he will only sleep for a max of 30mins whereas on me he can sleep up to 2hours. Is anyone else going through this or gone through this? Also the pram thing is a nightmare, he will be in it for about 10mins then starts complaining, up to now I have had to use a baby bjorn which he loves, but he is so heavy now I cant anymore so will have to start using the dreaded pram again! HELP!

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FLIER · 17/09/2007 09:49

Have you tried him with a dummy?

binkleandflip · 17/09/2007 09:50

This is very frustrating and happened to me with dd. IF your ds will sleep at night without you then thats a blessing - she would only go to sleep led on my chest for a year!!

You could try putting a jumper or blanket with your scent across you and lying ds on top , when he goes to sleep lift him and the blanket gently into the pram or wherever so he isnt disturbed by the sudden lack of warmth and also has the feeling of you still around him.

gemmiegoatlegs · 17/09/2007 09:55

i know its hard but be persistent. my ds would only go to sleep being rocked in his pram and i made it worse for myself by letting him! By the time dd came about, i just kept on putting her down, not controlled crying, more of a pick up-put down method until she got used to it.

6 months is no longer a newborn. he doesn't need to be next to you all day long and you need time to get on with your day while he sleeps.

it's not easy, but if you can fettle this now, things will run a lot smoother for you in long run when he weighs a ton and you've got to get tea on!
HTH

bubblagirl · 17/09/2007 09:57

i used to lay on sofe with my ds and put a blanket under cushion so he couldn't roll off once a sllep i used to lay him on the sofe with a blanket tucked up next to him so it felt he was being cuddled still he used to stay settled but to be honest i loved that time with my ds that was our time to be at peace with each other but you do need your time too i found just creating that cosy area to lay him into worked

oh yes and a dummy that was a god send

Lolcats · 17/09/2007 20:08

We also did 'pick up, put down'- I read it in the baby whisperer, and to be honest it saved my sanity.
All babies are different, but it can't hurt to try. Ask mums you know if they have a copy, or if anyone on here can give you the gist...
HV may be able to help if they know the method.

My dd was a very sensitive baby, couldn't stand to be stroked etc, and would only sleep on me/be breastfed or buggy to sleep. (on the positive side, I walked MILES each day, and was very slim when she was 6 months!)
Have you ruled out reflux (for the only sleeping 30 mins thing), just a thought.

Hannah7 · 20/09/2007 17:41

He has had a dummy since he was a week old (as wouldnt breastfeed) so not that. He does have Gaviscon in his milk as I thought he might have silent reflux. Doctors and HV are useless, all they say/have ever said is 'oh they get better' like im just being a first time mum complaing about crying etc. Have got an appointment with a pediatrician on 8th Oct to hopefully help him a bit. The HV's just say to just put him in his bed then go out in the garden for 10mins, they seem to think that he would fall asleep after this as he would be tired, not the case at all!! Luckily he does go to sleep by himself at night now, was sleeping through the night but now wakes us a few times, think he might be starting to teeth maybe. Tried a technique from th book 'Baby Secrets' by Jo Tantum which is called spaced soothing, its basically a kinder version of controlled crying where you leave the baby for 1min intervals then settle then leave etc, this didnt work! After I have seen the ped to make sure nothing wrong I will have to just make him sleep in his bed and find out about the pick up put down method, will be very stressful but hopefully worth it once done!

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Sprogstersmum · 20/09/2007 20:19

Have no advice I'm afraid but you're not alone. DD (now 2 yrs) had all her daytime sleep on me till 10 months old and then she gradually learned to nap on her own.

fizzbuzz · 20/09/2007 21:29

I found baby whisperer good as well. She doesn't believe in leaving them to cry it out

GillL · 21/09/2007 16:46

No advice but lots of sympathy. My dd did this for a long time from about the same age. As soon as I put her down she'd wake up. I think she grew out of it when she was just over a year old.

gillhowe · 21/09/2007 18:19

DS slept on me until about 6 months, I managed to get him to sleep next to me on my bed instead which is a bit more comfortable! He's 10 months now and still naps best if i stay next to him.

Oh and if the babybjorn is uncomfortable get a wrap sling, they are much easier on your back

good luck

Fizzylemonade · 21/09/2007 21:16

Hannah7 - Does he want to sleep on you so he is upright? My ds2 has reflux both productive and silent and ended up on a prescription milk as gaviscon didn't work.

He slept fine at night in the cot but slept on me in the day (semi-upright, cot was also on those cot blocks that elevated the head end) he slept on me till he was a year old but that was because I was ok with it. Then I did babywhisperer put down only as he was too old for the pick up part (see her book "baby whisperer solves all your problems" as it breaks it down into age ranges)

I now use a sling and he loves that. Mine is an Ergo -so like a rucksack and trust me it is much better than the baby bjorn which doesn't distribute their weight very well and can give you a bad back. You can hire slings for £10 for 2 weeks so you can try it out first. You can also try several at once if you fancy that. I used to have a mei tai which is a tied one and I loved it, am still toying with getting one (I hired it) and my son is now 16 months.

Hopefully the paed appointment will help him too. If you leave a reflux baby to cry it can make them reflux from the stress and crying.

slings here

Natasha0307 · 25/09/2007 22:23

I'm also having the same problem - my dd is also 6 months old and will only nap during the day if I rock her to sleep. And she's getting heavier.

I'm thinking of trying the pick up, put down method - have only read about it - see www.babywhisperer.com for more info.

Hannah7 · 16/10/2007 13:58

Fizzylemonade - Will sleep lying down, thought he might have silent reflux too and has Gaviscon in his milk since 4months old. Stopped it after seeing ped and she said too but he went off his milk slightly so back on it again. Not sick very often.

Went to the pediatrician the other week to finally get him checked. Apart from his constipation she couldnt find anything wrong and told me he is in his 91st percentile (take 100 babies of his age and he wold be taller and weigh more than 91 of them!!). Going to get a video monitor and put in his room ready for the stress of finally getting him to sleep on his own, now I know any crying will just be as he wants to be on me. He is getting way too heavy (last week was 20pounds 3ounces!) and makes my arm go numb when he is asleep! Will let you know how it goes!

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covenhope · 16/10/2007 14:03

Hannah only just seen this but my DD is 7 months and will only sleep on me. I sometimes manage to put her down on the settee but she'll only sleep for 20 minutes or so.

She also wakes all night

Hannah7 · 23/10/2007 22:04

Today I got Ollie to sleep in his cot twice for 30mins, he wouldnt sleep any longer than that and was in awful mood as still tired! Have started this now so no turning back, going to be a tough few weeks I feel!!

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SalBow · 06/06/2008 11:53

Hi Hannah, I've only just seen your post. I have pretty much the same problem re my 8 month ds will only nap on me in the daytime. Can I ask how things have been since? Did you find any solutions?

ivykaty44 · 06/06/2008 11:57

Have you tried a loud ticking clock in his pram/basket?

francesrivis · 06/06/2008 12:59

Another vote for pick up/put down here - worked incredibly well when we had same problem with dd.

GrapefruitMoon · 06/06/2008 13:15

My dd never had naps during the day, i.e. in her cot. She would nod off in her buggy/car seat if we were out and about but wake up as soon as we stopped moving...

I was determined not to go through the same thing with my ds's so i started to take them out for a walk every day in the morning - around 10ish and would keep walking till they fell asleep. After a while they would stay asleep in their pram for a while after we got home and eventually I was able to put them down for a nap in their cot.

Could you try doing the same thing around the time he normally falls asleep on you? You may have to put up with some crying if he doesn't like his pram but if he is tired he should drop off eventually?

Otherwise you may have to resign yourself to no naps and make sure he goes to bed early enough in the evening so he is properly rested and you have a break!

EffiePerine · 06/06/2008 13:17

Try another sling? Baby bjorns are pretty rubbish. A wrap sling would be better (and you could do a back carry which would be much easier on you)

desperatehousewifetoo · 06/06/2008 14:10

A friend of mine had this problem with her 5mth dd. Her dd was always unhappy, couldn't be given to anyone to hold, would only fall asleep in a sling and wake at night and take hours to resettle. Hated buggy too.

They tried hair dryer, hoover sound, car seat, walking for hours, etc

At the end of their tether, they had a sleep specialist come for 3 days and at end she settled herself in cot in day and at night. She was immediately much more happy and gurgly. I don't think I had really seen her dd smile up until then.

This is gist of what she did over the weekend. (don't shoot me down, just giving the info!): Don't let dd sleep in in am's. Think they were aiming for short nap mid morning and two hour sleep early afternoon and sleep through night with feed if required but that dd would be put in bed awake and settle herself to sleep.

When should be awake stimulate her with toys and keep her awake until you want her to nap. When she should be asleep, persevere with them in cot, by what ever means i.e. going in soothing, stroking but don't pick up. Once nap time over (whether sleeps or not), get dd up and keep awake until next nap/bedtime.

Apparently, the first over night was dreadful and she was awake for most of night but from next day, she has pretty much slept and settled herself (with a few blips!).

Her dd is now always happy, smiling and her parents obviously feel more human and think that one night, although horrible, was worth it.

I think they also established that dd liked to sleep with something half covering her face as it would be in sling against her mum. So she was given a light blanket up high over her chin - loosely!

As I say, only giving info, not saying whether you should do this! Not sure I could have stood it all night but then I was very lucky that my 2 dcs slept well day and night - but then I was paranoid about not feeding them till they went to sleep or holding them when asleep. Not sure if that made any difference though!

JammyQueenOfTheSewers · 06/06/2008 14:25

My DD (almost 12 months) sleeps on me by day. But as she mostly only naps for 30 mins I don't mind. She's a good sleeper at night though so I count my blessings there.

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