Hi, I'm not sure my advice is really worth much but saw you didn't have any other replies and hopefully this will bump your post up a bit so others will see and respond!
3 years old is really still quite little and true 'gratitude' is quite a complex concept for them to grasp - they have to understand that someone in the past (remember 3yos live almost completely in the moment and have limited understanding of past/future) has spent effort/time doing something nice for them and they should appreciate that (and show they appreciate it), even if the thing is not something they particularly want, because that will make the other person happy and if they don't the other person will feel sad - that's quite a chain of things to grasp and at 3 they all are pretty much self-centred little horrors lacking much empathy with others or understanding that adults have other things to do than focus entirely on them 
. This develops in time with their cognitive/emotional skills development - if she was 8 or 9 and didn't understand why we should be grateful for gifts that would be a different thing. 3yos also don't really 'get' money (they can understand the idea that you exchange money for stuff but not necessarily that money is finite or has to be earned) so if you're hoping for particular gratitude for expensive gifts you're probably going to have to wait a while.
Manners however is another thing - she can certainly learn to say 'thank you' nicely for gifts. However how often does she get gifts - surely really only her birthday/Christmas or a few other special occasions, or are you talking more about little things you've picked up for her in the shops?
I think I would practice her pleases and thank yous when given something, with lots of praise when she has nice manners and sensible (not OTT) consequences for egregious bad manners. I'd practice as much as I can with her with less emotionally laden things than 'gifts' (just stop buying her lots of things if she doesn't seem to want them and it's turning into a point of stress) - just everyday stuff like when she's given food or a drink, passing toys to one another etc. Model good manners yourself 'DD please can you pass me X', 'thank you DD for helping' etc. The basic interaction she's learning is someone offers something, she says please and thank you, she gets the nice something. If she doesn't say please and thank you, she doesn't get the nice thing. I know that's a bit basic but as I say the 'gratitude' thing comes later.
I wouldn't worry too much about her saying she doesn't like her toys, she's probably only doing it because it gets a rise out of you, if she's just doing it in play I'd just say something like 'really DD I thought you liked your kitchen' or 'oh dear DD poor teddy you don't like him, do you think teddy is sad now?'. It's fine for her to express feelings of likes and dislikes so long as it's not hurting other people to do so and she is probably at the age where she's working out what those things really mean and when it is and isn't appropriate to say things (typical of 3yos to yell horrible things like 'you're not my real mummy', see my comment above about them lacking empathy!). What you need to do is help her have ways of expressing likes and dislikes in a socially appropriate way (so saying 'Mummy I don't like peas' is fine and just an expression of feelings, screaming 'I hate peas! Urgh! Yuck! Horrible dinner!' and throwing it around is rude and bad behaviour for instance.
If you are removing her toys as a consequence for bad behaviour which you want her to apologise for, then fair enough, but for myself I find more natural/immediate consequences work better with little ones rather than getting into extended stand-offs, as you say nothing is more stubborn than a thwarted 3 year old! I think they pretty much lose the connection between the 'bad thing' they did and why they are being punished within minutes if not seconds because the emotional reaction to being punished takes over, so removing her toy and saying she can only have it back if she behaves better isn't likely to work as she's forgotten by now what 'behave better' means and doesn't know what she needs to do hence her seeming indifference. I would try and spell out for her what you do want, so something like (after having given an initial warning) - you aren't playing nicely with the kitchen so the kitchen is going away and now we are going to do something else for 10 minutes (maybe something boring like helping with chores). I need you to be gentle/be quiet/be kind and say sorry for hitting/breaking/shouting (show her what she needs to stop doing but try and frame it positively rather than negatively) then you can have it back.
Good luck!