Toddler hit me today. Did I react correctly?

[AllesAusLiebe]

Hi everyone,

DS (19 months) has been demonstrating aggressive behaviour for a while now (swiping at my hand, kicking during nappy changes etc), but today he really excelled himself and hit me in the chest. He was asking for a book, which I'd removed from him and put out of sight because he'd tried to rip it. He whinged a little, walked a couple of paces away from me, then turned around and took a swing at me.

I was so shocked and upset but I kept it together and said, "No. We don't hit", put him down on the floor in a sitting position and walked away.

Have I done the right thing? I'm reading so much stuff with different ways of dealing with this type of thing and I'm confused.

Has anyone successfully disciplined against this type of thing at the age?

Thanks in advance. Xx

I don't think I really had to start until he was two and then it is really kicking whilst doing his nappy. I threaten him with the hallway and he stands in the hallway for a min. He really hates it and it works

But what you did sounds absolutely fine at that age. Why do you think it is wrong? You've walked away from him and not made a big deal, I'd say yoh dealt witj it well

Great - thanks I'll keep that in mind if it continues when he gets a little bigger. It does concern me with the kicking because he's so strong and it hurts now when he does it.

Yeah, I just wasn't sure for 2 reasons. Firstly, it had absolutely no impact on him at all. He just carried on playing completely unfazed. Secondly, I read all of this other stuff online about how you're supposed to hold them and stuff. I think I was too upset and a little angry, to be honest, so holding him was the last thing I felt like doing!

Out of interest, how long did the kicking go on for when you introduced the consequences? It's really getting me down and I can't understand where it comes from. He's an only child (so not picking up bad habits from older siblings) and DH and I are really calm.

Thanks again.

I think what you did was right. I would / have done similar with my DD (now nearly 3). I’d say something like ‘I can’t let you kick me, it hurts’ then put her down and walk away, so whatever we were doing together has been stopped. She wouldn’t be terribly upset either, but it just showed I wouldn’t let her carry on.

I wouldn’t be holding / cuddling her, but equally wouldn’t be too dramatic about it (even though I would feel so pissed off!) - just a simple explanation and walk away.

@Sipperskipper the consequences worked really quickly, couple of weeks. My little one hates being put outside in the hallway for even a small amount of time. As they get older they have more understanding I think and I guess at 19 months he probably won't get it. I'd try and remove the opportunity for him to kick you, eg sit differently, watch his legs and then stop them with your hands etc.

You reaction was perfect. Calm but firmly made a Point. Exactly what I would have done. My voice is usually quite stern but my actions are calm!

My boy was exactly the same at that age, I did the same and a firm no was all I would say, then move on, not make a big deal of it. It definitely helped at the time as he would stop straight away but it didn’t stop it in the long term. At one point the hitting me got me to the point I was worried he would be doing it forever but I didn’t know what else to do as I didn’t feel he would understand much more.

At one point I just pretended to cry to show him that it hurt me, he definitely understood and he gave me a cuddle.

Now (he’s 2 next week) if he were to hit anyone, we talk about having kind hands and how it is not nice to hurt anyone. He knows hitting is wrong and rarely does it now. It’s frustration for them that causes it.