Baby constantly whingeing and moaning

[Daisydoo94]

I'm looking for advice but mainly just reassurance that I'm not the only person with a baby that is miserable 98% of the time. My son is 9 months and a good baby in the sense he sleeps and eats well. He struggles with his teething and gets constipated often but he has always communicated through whinges and moans he's not very vocal other than that. Hardly ever cries unless he's over tired. When he was younger I thought it might just be a phase but now it's really beginning to grind me down. Everything I try, toys bubbles, playing with him, messy play, garden and padding pool ect all fall flat after 3 minutes and whinging ensues again. The only thing that keeps him quiet for more than 5 minutes so I can get food ready or a drink is cartoons on the television. At what point should I take it personally that he'd rather watch the telly than interact with me? I know all babies are different but it kills me to see the 'happy' babies having fun with mum exploring and enjoying life.
I feel like I've lost or am loosing that bond we had when he was a newborn. I love him but with the constant disinterest he shows in me and anything I do it's hard to want to spend time with him and not see looking after him as a chore.
Can anyone relate? Please tell me it gets better. Could there be something 'wrong' with him?

Honestly OP? All babies are different but that sounds extreme to me.
I wonder... do you ever just ... leave him be? I wonder if he’s overstimulated and maybe just needs a bit of time to ... stare into space? If he whinges a bit and you know he’s not hungry/ overtired or whatever ... maybe just let him for a bit?

Mine was sort of the same but opposite, in that she whinged constantly (I mean constantly) but always wanted to be clinging to me. She wouldn’t be left alone - I despaired at her ever learning to crawl because she just wouldn’t go on the floor. Even now as a 4 year old she demands constant attention (although she did learn to crawl). I have another one so it’s not just me, number 2 is very different!

Some babies are just very difficult - when is he calmest even if not happy - on a playmat? Being pushed in a buggy? Being held?

When my boy was that age I used to just leave him alone a lot of the time. Obviously I was right there but he’d be sitting on the rug or in the playpen, pulling himself up to a standing position or rolling around or waving
a toy around. Basically getting used to his body and how it worked. I’d talk to him or whatever (I didn’t ignore him) but I don’t know that we did any activities as such.

Oh yeah also forgot to say...

Some babies just hate being babies! You know the helplessness, the lack of agency, the physical limitations... you see it when they start to walk and talk- the relief is palpable.

Mine was exactly as you described op and yes I think he just did not like being a baby. Once he could crawl and then walked it stopped completely so at 9 months I would think you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I remember well how insanely hard I found it and how jealous I was of all those babies who would play contentedly. Keep ploughing through - I reckon you’re nearly there

“At what point should I take it personally...”

Never.

Some babies just hate being babies!

My son LOATHED it until he could move around. He cried all the time until he was able to crawl. Then suddenly he became a very happy and content little boy.

Hi Daisydoo94,

We can see you're getting some good advice and support here, but we're going to move your thread over to our Behaviour/Development topic now as we think that's a better place for it than Site Stuff (which is for any tech or site moderation issues).

Sending good wishes, and .

Thank you for all the reassuring comments

He absolutely hates tummy time I do it with him everyday but he doesn't seem to be progressing. He is so strong everywhere but his arms so pulling himself up or crawling seems so far away. But with his sitting he literally went from not doing it to steadily sitting for about 20 minutes in a day so maybe he's more capable than I give him credit.

I do occasionally leave him on a playmat with one toy as not to over do it but I swear he falls over and screams on purpose knowing ill come back . He's not stupid. .

I really hope you guys are right and he will cheer up when he's mobile. I know it sounds silly but I have always wanted to be a mum and I had this vision of what it would be like and this isn't it. I'd prepared mentally for sleepless nights and fussy eating but definitely wasn't prepared for a bipolar baby

Well not to worry about tummy time - both mine loathed it and ds1 started crawling by rocking forwards from sitting. Ds2 never crawled but bum shuffled and that made him happier. So some babies don’t crawl from tummy time! You will get there

DS used to scream and refuse to lift his head up! He was also a bum-shuffler/side crawler.

He’s such a calm, mellow boy now, nobody ever believes me when I say what a difficult screaming baby he was!