Advice please on Star Charts & The "Pasta Jar" ideas

[fireflyfairy2]

I have just had my sister texting me to say the teacher took her aside this morning & told her that her son (J) is behind in work. He is in p3 (he's 6). He is the youngest in his class, has a June birthday & although he is very intelligent, he is also very immature (well, he's 6, but ykwim)

The teacher told sis that it took J an hour yesterday to put one letter down on his page. And my sis told the teacher that she spent an hour with him on maths homework & did she think the work was perhaps too hard. But it seems that the maths homework should have taken 15mins max & that J isn't bothered about homework being finished. It turns out that my sis has been doing his colouring etc for homework when he can't be bothered.

She text me in tears as she doesn't want to tell her dh as he will be very sore on J (He is from a very well educated family, 4 sisters are school teachers & a brother plus their parents were primary school principals).

I suggested a star chart & have said I will call her later on. I was wondering as I have heard about a pasta jar reward scheme... does anyone know what this is? Or if anyone has any ideas as to how her wee boy can catch up? The teacher has said it may be because he is so young, but that it doesn't look good that he is so behind at the beginning of the school year

Yes, I think pasta jar etc should be reserved for home use rather than school.
I might be being thick here but where is NI?

I'd steer clear of pasta jars full stop. Horrible things. Much better to get a child self-motivated. Star charts have a place for teaching toddlers to use a potty but that's about it.

NI = Northern Ireland.

Thanks. I didn't realise the school system was so different from England, Scotland, Wales. I thought it must be somewhere on the otherside of the world but couldn't think of a country or state with those initials!

Yes, computers are used in schools in NI My dd is in p2 (she's 5 almost 6) & uses computers daily in class. Last year they got awards for keyboard skills, moving the mouse etc..

I am concerned for my nephew but also my sister. As I told her, J only has her to defend him & help him along. His dad is not much help at home. He works from home but spends all day holed up in the bedroom, emerging from time to time to yell at the children to be quiet. So my sister takes the children to the park every day, sometimes 4 or 5 times a day. As I said, they have no routine which I do think could be part of the problem (although I could also be way off the mark)

I know that my evening routine consists of dd coming home from school, changing her clothes, having a drink & settling down at the kitchen table to do her homework. never for more than about 20 minutes. They get one page of work & a reading book. Then she is aloowed to go play outside in the yard, go a wander through the fields (with me) or she can watch a DVD if it is wet outside.

I do think routine is important & told my sister this, but I am always wary of overstepping the mark between advice & criticism.

Othersideofhtechannel, is the school system different? In what way?

Routine is very important when you have three aged five and under. My natural way of being is not to have aroutine, but without one our household wouldn't function. There is no doubt that routine makes the dcs feel secure and sets up cues for what is coming next.

Re the chart for potty training, it enabled dd1 to see her progress which IMO is very important. It wasn't a reward chart and there were no treats. But she could count and could see that on day one she had a couple of stickers on a piece of paper, and by day three she had seven. We are now potty training dd2 and she although she too can count this isn't motivating her, so we are taking a break until she tells us she wants to take her nappies off again.

Meant to add that having a routine also makes for great excitement for the older ones when it is broken. For example, I sometimes get dd1 up out of bed so we can go bat watching and she thinks staying up until 9 o'clock and drinking hot chocolate with mummy in the garden (a 'midnight feast according to dd1) is sooooooo cool.

Well I'm far from an expert because I'm in France and it's a long time since I set foot in a primary school in England.

It was just you said about homework being compulsory from age 4, plus the nature of it. Ie not just learning spellings.

I agree with Avitatrix and HG. I have also found this book really inspiring. www.amazon.co.uk/Letting-Go-Children-Grow-Independence/dp/0747565767/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/026-6664686-914 0452?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1189860590&sr=8-1

"Letting Go as Children Grow" - Deborah Jackson

Do you know, I just couldn't get on with that.

Hello, FF I don't envy your position, it's a hard thing to give advice without passing judgement - especially where children are concerned. You sound pretty spot on about the routine thing, if J has not been used to sitting down and concentrating on activities at home, how can the poor mite be expected to do it in a classroom with lots of other children and distractions? Also, please don't be too quick to judge the teacher, she may have spent more time on trying to cajole/encourage him to complete the work than on any of the other children in this instance and we don't know how stubborn J may have been. I can't imagine he was ignored for an hour. Teachers aren't always pleased about having to give homework either as it's time consuming to set and mark and hard to assess fairly as different families give differing levels of support with it.

Hi Ihaven't read all the posts but I have used the pasta jar technique before when I was a nanny. It worked really well Monday to Friday as I kept it going all week, but parents either forgot or took loads out of the jar for unacceptable behaviour at weekends, so my advice would be if you decide to go ahead with the pasta jar be consistent

I can empathise and I agree the teacher sounds crap. My son 5, gets homework too which is ridiculous - what the hell are they doing for 7 hours a day in school? My school is bringing in the foundation phase of learning, based on scandanavian principles where children don't start formal schooling until they are 7, and then far surpass our children in the UK later on. It is more practical, and more things done outdoors.

One idea, that I am going to try, is to volunteer to go in and help in class one morning a week, so you can find out exactly what is happening.

There are always other schools which may suit your son better. And if your husband's family are from teaching backgrounds can't they help more?

My son was totally disinterested in reading the frankly boring books he was sent home with and I started him off on the old "Peter and Jane" Ladybird books which I learned to read with, and they have been a big success and his reading has come on leaps and bounds.

But for boys, it is lots of exercise first and doing practical things, (like writing letters in the sand on the beach with a stick) rather than with a pencil!

Good luck, your little boy is fab it is just this country's S* education system.

annie, where is your school???? I wish more schools would adapt the Scandanavian method.

I agree with HG (and others) sounds like disengaged child caused by the wrong approach by the teacher - all children are individuals.

But a few thoughts...IMHO most 6 yr olds would not remember what homework to do without a prep book/homework diary. My DD is (a very bright) nearly 8 yr old and I still make it my business to check it rather than rely on her - when she comes home all she wants to do is play and relax. She gets 20 spellings a week and the odd bit of reading in the eves but only minimal work at the weekends.

Do all children in his class get h/w daily, or is it because he hasn't finished his set work? Every night sounds excessive, although may be usual in NI?

Also, and I appreciate how difficult it is to advise tactfully, the bil will destroy what little confidence he has if shouting/crying are part of each h/w session.

i just wanted to add that I think that self motivation in learning is important too, but that a meaningful reward system can be a useful stepping stone towards that. sometimes children need other people to be proud of them before they can do it themselves.

how much 'positive' is he getting from his teacher? I'm not going to slate her methods, because I don't know the full story, but I do know it's very easy for a teacher to get bogged down with the negatives when a child is not engaged, and forget to reward the good. Perhaps your sis could ask what reward systems the school are using and how much her son is getting from them? a little reminder to the school that he isn't all bad!

oh, and if you're going to do the pasta jar, can i recommend using something more exciting that pasta?! i used marbles when I was teaching- they're pretty, feely, make a nice clunk and kids love choosing their favourite...makes more of a reward of the process!

haven't read everything, but wanted to add some ideas - how about trying to involve him in a way that his teacher just can't...

...if he gets the homework to draw two insects, go into the garden, hunt bugs, then draw them.

Perhaps the whole "sitting down to learn2 thing immediately gets his back up from his experiences.

Appreciate it might be hard to glamorise maths homework!

Agree with what most people have said, he is only 6, learning should be fun.

mummypig this makes me cross. (the opticians not you )

Go to another (good) opticians.

They should sort it all out there and then
If not please let me know.