4.5 yo previously dry during days from 2.5 yo now having accidents.

[Skyler]

Hmmm. How do I deal with this one. Basically she is being a bit lazy/distracted and not getting to the toilet on time. The accidents all happen in the bathroom as she is trying to get her knickers down in time, as she is just leaving it too late. I began by saying it didn't matter as I didn't want her to be stressed by it and thought it was just a one off, however it has become more frequent (3 times a week on average) and I now want her to realise that it does matter actually , especially as she starts school in Jan.
She does not have a UTI or anything physically wrong so I am positive it is just a case of timing and leaving it too late on her part. I have tried to talk to her about it but I am not sure she is taking it on board and I don't want to give her a complex. Help. What should I do??

My ds (4.5) has also just started wetting himself after two years of having no problems at all. I put it down to the fact that he's just started school and might be feeling a bit unsettled (although he enjoys school and has settled well so i was clutching at straws a bit!!)
Im sure it's just a phrase, but I admit I got cross with him last night when he wet himself whilst watching TV. Im taking a slightly stricter line with him now (the softly softly wasnt achieving anything)and have explained I'll have to with hold treats etc if it carries on. Im sure it's just laziness. Cant tell you whether Im doing the right thing though - parenting's a bloody minefield!

3 times a week isn't that much and really it doesn't matter. There is plenty of time to sort it before school and reception teachers are used to wet knickers.

Thanks for your comments. I have had problems getting on line since I posted Tiscali upgrade /
I am glad I am not the only one thinking a firmer line is necessary DirtieGertie.
I do take your point Nab, and if she had never been reliable then I wouldn't be bothered in the same way, but because she has been dry for so long and I am positive it is laziness I do feel some action is required.....just what I don't know....

She is probably stressed about school starting and the whole point of you being relaxed is she will learn it gets her no attention, so if she is doing it for that it would be a waste of time.

She doesn't start till Jan though... I can't imagine it is bothering her already as although we have spoken about it I am keeping it quite low key and she is excited if anything. This began over the summer hols....

I wouldn't be surprised if it is.

My DD is 4.9 and also dry for 2.5 years. During the summer the same thing was happening...wetting herself right by the toilet. After twice in one day and once the day before i told her off and said that if she did it again there would be no TV. I knew she was just being lazy and was leaving it too late. She didn't do it again!

After mentioning it to a couple of friends, they also said that their DD's who had also been dry for the same amount of time had wet themselves a few times recently. They all started school last week. But whether it had anything to do with it, who knows???

it is strange though - school hasnt seemed to affect him in any other way. It must be that though - its too much of a coincidence otherwise.
I did down-play at first, saying 'it doesnt matter darling, just try and get to the toilet in time' (whilst smiling through clenched teeth) but i dont always agree that the nicey, nicey flowery approach works everytime. Sometimes being firm with them is the only solution. Anyway, It hasnt happened again in the last couple of days so only time will tell.
How's she been this weekend Skyler?

No accidents this weekend, and actually I haven't had to remind her to go (ie when I see her jigging etc) now I think about it. Hopefully it was just a mini relapse. I am afraid I do still think it is laziness, but might give her the benefit of the doubt for a little longer.....I am glad I am not alone anyway . Thanks all.

This happened with my ds but only really at nights. He was dry for at least a year, now he does a great big nappy full of wee every night and he's 5.5. It's very frustrating but I don't know what, if anything, can be done.

Really Spidermama? It is strange isn't it. FWIW I think there are lots of five year olds still in nappies at night, but it is the having been dry and suddenly not that makes we wonder a bit.

i wouldnt tell by ds off if he wet the bed btw (has done on occassions and would only ever say 'its ok' and give him a cuddle)
Just wetting himself whilst watching tv / playing etc though is a different matter imo.
Also skyler he hasnt done it at school (just waits to do it on the sofa at home hooray). And on fri teacher asked if we had spare clothes to bring in, in case of accidents, so is obv not unusual in reception..

Sometimes I wonder if spiderboy simply can't be bothered or enjoys having a little bit of babyhood in his life still.

I am sure it is all down to emotional feelings. My son was dry and then started having wet beds again when he moved up a year at school. Just reassure them it will pass and try not to get too upset.

Thanks all. So far so good today too, so hopefully it has passed and I won't get bothered too much if it happens again... Fingers crossed.