Boistrous and rough - mum at wits end!

[Catbert]

"Please ask your mumsnet gurus" said my friend. SO here I am...

Friends son, same age as all of our group, 2.2.

For what seems (esp. to friend) AGES now, he has been very difficult to cope with around other children, as he grabs faces, jumps on other sitting or lying children, pushes children over etc. Always has an excess of energy and is tiring to look after. He often makes other children cry and knows he is naughty to do it.

He is, however, a genuinely loving, sweet, bright boy with excellent communication skills and this behaviour does seem at odds with what I know him to be like at home. It is driving mum mad though, and she has tried everything - from exclusion (he just sits and waits patiently without any signs he is bothered), shouting, ignoring, and even smacking (wits end here - not something she wanted to do really). He always says sorry, and repeats he is sorry later on to mummy. Shows all signs of knowing his behaviour is wrong.

What are your wise and knowledgeable thoughts. She hates us saying "it's just a phase" because it's been going on for ages now.

is it something in his diet? I know that when my ds has orange juice/squash is like the tazmanian devil - it is not fun. Can't think of anything else at the mo, but I am sure someone else will be along!

Deffo not diet. Mum extremely healthy living and he is fed in the same fashion! Think the only thing she ever got "wrong" diet wise, was feeling him too many wholemeal foods (too fibre rich for his young system!).

no other suggestions sorry, but answering this to keep it 'active'!

but he's only 2 ... she cannot expect self-control from a child that age

I'm really sorry to say this but it IS a phase and will probably last another year or 2

he sounds very intelligent for 2 but he's only a toddler

she probably needs to find a child with similar energy and put them together

Of course you are right Amfs, and it is a mantra we as a group often repeat "remember they are only 2..."

But it is really getting her down, feeling like she can't let him out of her line of sight for a second before he is crashing into another child, feeling like he is the only one behaving in that fashion, and feeling like her only option is to stay in and keep him seperate from everyone.

She knows that her friends are understanding, and the trouble is mixing with children he doesn't know, like at M&T group etc...

You know?

I know I know ..

I don't know if this helps but I have a good friend with 2 kids just like that

I first met her at a music group when my DS was about 19 months old .. her eldest was 2 and a 1/2 years old and youngest 8 months

her eldest used to run around the room and hit anything smaller than him (really looking them out) .. my DS was extremely placid but .. BIG BUT ... I liked her because every time she did the same patient catch him make him apologise, apologise herself and sit back down

We made eye contact, we chatted, we went for coffee we became friends

.. her eldest DS is now 4 and 1/2 and for the last year has been the most pleasant, creative, intelligent little boy ... he's the natural leader in any group .. he's fantastic and I love that he and my DS are such buddies despite the year's age difference

.. of course her youngest is now 2 and a 1/2 and a little tyke too

think what I'm trying to say is she isn't alone .. some mothers are going through exactly the same and other mothers feel for her (at least other mothers that are probably worth getting to know ... like you catbert) and her child will get through it ..honestly he will

Thanks so much! It's the seasoned mumsnet story I was looking for to share with her! I know he'll be fine, and his parents are creative, musical, lovely people - I keep telling her he won't turn out to be the school bully, just cause he's a little rascal now!