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[law3]

how do i get my 3.6 year old son to sleep in his own bed??

Hasnt spent a night in his own bed yet, or do i have to wait until he gets his own flat?????

its a bit late now...as you've set it as a "norm" for whatever reason

might talking to a child sleep pyschologist help?

might have more luck posting under sleep topic with title such as how to get 3.6 year old into own bed.

do you mind him being with you?

i'm seeing sleep therapist for same thing as your ds will be used to you being with him to sleep you have to do the withdrawel technique read story no more than 10 min with ds in his own bed give kiss and cuddle then turn ligtht out or however he would sleep and sit on the floor with back to him do not talk with him and sit there utill he has fallen asleep

on first week of doing this try to do same whenever he wakes sit on floor untill back off to sleep doesn't matter if comes in on first week in middle of the night as all will need sleep and its a big change

second week same again but try to move your self further away when sitting on floor and you will continue to move yourself a way on next week untill son gets used to falling asleep alone when you have moved as far as possible you can say i'll be back in a minute and see if he settles down without you if he gets up take him back and sit on floor

its very hard work but needs to be done your son is also at good age for reward chart so by getting in his bed gets sticker staying in gets a sticker and you can use this whenever you take him back good luck if need be you can be referred to sleep therapist who will also come out and help you

my ds is 2.4 and it does work forgot to say if he does come in your room sleep therapist has made us set a bed by side of our bed so he can get used to not sleepinbg with me but we always make sure he falls to sleep in his own bed

sleepfinder - i have been trying to get him into his own bed for years, various methods, safety gates, stickers, STAY OUT OF MY BLOODY BED, but none seem to work.

Moljam - posted under sleep, didnt get any response, so thought it might be more behaviour. I dont mind as such, he is so cute and cuddly, but my dh and i would like a bit of time alone, if you know what i mean!!!

Bubbla - didnt realise there were sleep therapist, bloody hell we have therapist for everything nowdays, 'get your shoes on in the morning' therapist would be nice!!!

no seriously though, after trying various methods of getting him to sleep in his own bed, at the moment i put him into our bed, he falls asleep and then i transfer him to his own bed, half an hour later, he is back in our bed, i tried putting him straight back, which is fine, but i tire before him!!

on the first day he slept after story knowing i was there on floor still does but comes into our bed but just got him a reafdy bed next to ours and slept all night in that last night which is a first but i do always make sure he knows he has to fall asleepin his bed

just do thay as long as he knows he has to go to sleep in his bed we will take him back up untill 1 in morning then after that we allow him in aslthough we've not been well so he has been coming in by 11 but has still slept few hours in his bed its because he is used to company to fall asleep so we have to break that habit but you should always make sure he falls asleepm in his bed as waking in a different place can be scary for them at least if he has gone to sleep in his bed and then comes through he's managed the first hurdle

Bubbla - People have now started to reply to my post in sleep as well now!!!!

Trying to get him to fall sleep in his bed, thats the hard bit for me, after sitting there for hours, i usually end up falling asleep as well!!

I also have a 13 and 11 year old and what with all the after school activities, hobbies, homework etc, etc dinnertime, bathtime, bedtime is not always the same, ive written myself a timetable and im going to try sticking to it. How does everyone else manage to fit everything in and still get dinner ready on time etc????????????

Have you watched Tanya Byron's method on House of Tiny Tearaways?

That seems to work pretty well - you stay in the room, and just keep putting them back in the bed, over and over and over

I think Supernanny might have used the same technique.

Are either of those shows still on TV?

super nany is tue or wed i believe on channel 4 tiny tear aways is not back on yet

yes that is the technique i mentioned that is what sleep therapist has suggested as they are used to company you have to gradually remove yourself

i can imagine its difficult having other children but she said for there age 7-7.30 is ideal bed time so maybe take him through at 7 read him a story explain he will go into his bed as he is big boy now and that you will sit on his floor untill he is asleep and tell him if he stays in his bed all night you will give him treat next day just a bag of sweets or some bubbles nothing to big or he'll want it all the time

but you need tobreak this habit sooner than later and set a bed up on floor at end of your bed or beside it and if he comes in in the night tell him he has to sleep on it so he can get used to you not sleeping next to him i too am going through this so i'm here if you need to talk or any more advive i'm visited every two weeks by sleep therapist

Thanks ladies for all the advice, much appreciated.

i dont really watch tv, 3 boys and dh, always football on!!never heard of Tanya, i do know who suppernanny is though!! i do read when i get time, but not much tv.

If im in the room, he will stay in bed, he just keeps talking and i have to keep saying over and over, no more talking its time for sleep. If i left the room he would get up.

Afraid i been lazy, its been easier to just put him in my bed so i can get some sleep. Unfortunately means me and dh dont get any time to ourselves.

if he talks you have to say to him if you keep talking i will leave the room then you have to ignore when he speaks and just sit there if he keeps talking you will get up as if to leave and say i told you if you keep talking i will not sit here then with any luck he will roll over and sleep

but best thing is to ignore as its only to get your attention and this is what you are trying to break

bubbla - arr thanks you are a star. i will try everything you have suggested. 7 might be a early to start with, he doesnt go to bed until about 11pm and doesnt seem to need much sleep at all, might try 9 for starters, what do you think?

i think you should try 8 do dinner bit later bath bit later then story in bed its only because he's used to going with you he needs to get used to a new routine which means bed earlier too 8 should be ok if 7 for 2 yr old 8 should be fine for him

good luck just keep it calm explain big boys have to go into own bed and he will get rewarded if goes to sleep in it and then sit on floor and ignore him and only 10 mins reading then on floor with back to him you can sit close to the bed i started away from the bed and my ds was fine but he is 2.4 and doesnt have the same time scale for problem as your ds so maybe sit with back against bed but no talking only if he starts playing around then say i wont sit here if you dont lie quietly GOOD LUCK

at least if you can just get him to fall asleep in his own bed for a reasonable time itas as start my ds takes 10 mins to settle in own bed now sometimes we dont even finish 5 min story and sometimes i can be sitting on the floor an hour but that is not often at all took 5 mins tonight

he comes in later to his ready bed so he isn't with me and last night stayed in that till 6 am so that was a break through there make a bed up on floor and when he comes in tell him to lay on that or go back to his own bed as long as he is aware he must always fall asleep in own bed

hi bubbla, did as you suggested bed at 8, he has just settled.

its a start its not supposed to be easy breaking habits still earlier than 11 let me know he settled for the night well done though remember he is used to that routine and not used to you being consistent so keep it up he will eventually get used to the idea but well done again xx

maybe if you feel 9 is reasonable chnage it to 9 but 8 is perfect time for his age and as he is older than my ds he will be more strong willed so i say stick it out at 8

Thanks for your support bubla, got to be honest, if i want honest advice.

8pm sat reading with him in his bedroom until 8.30. Left the room, he came down 5 minutes later. Took him back up and put a video on for him. All was quiet. Checked on him at nearly 10 and he was asleep. Went up again at 10.30 and he was asleep in my bed!!!

So not totally according to plan. But hey he stayed in his bedroom for 2 hours, so an improvement at least he wasnt downstairs until 11pm.

you cheared lol your supposed to stay on floor untill he is asleep if you do leave then when he comes out you take him back and sit on floor again it will get easier but you must be consistant

you are trying to break a habit that has been there for a long time i know its easier to give in i do it in the night but always make sure he falls asleep in his own bed

and no tv he's got to get used to settling without company of you or tv thats why you'll do the gradual withdrawl of sitting on floor moving further away then leaving the room but for first week you should be sitting on floor untill he is asleep as he will crave your company and is use to being in your bed

but well done though at least he stayed in his room next is helping him fal asleep in his room i've sat on my ds floor for an hr and half once if you have someone else there to help take it in turns every half an hour it is a great feeling when you crack it and then it will get easier

speak soon keep up good work x

cheated lol

Bubbla - you are a genius!!you are the patron saint of sleep - Saint Bubbla.

Last night bed at 9, cheated slightly i know you said 8, but wasnt that organised, football all day with older boys etc. Anyhow read his book, sat next to bed, no tv. Sleep in 5 minutes and stayed there ALL night until 7.30 this morning.

I love yoooooooooou xxxxxxxxxxx

hooray i'm so happy for you glad it worked i did say change it to 9 then gradually you can start cutting times down if need to

just keep to the same routine evey night for at least a week then you can start moving away and so on but i'm so pleased you actually got a night to your selves HOORAY lol xx

treats today and told how well he done then bring it up whenever you can so he knows he has been real big boy he'll enjoy how happy you are with him and they always say expect the night to be the same as before so fingers crossed you seem to be more at ease with it he'll sence that, and you could have another night of passion with dh lol or just enjoy being able to sleep comfortably in bed lol

and having an evening to yourself

Oh yes, as he walked down the stairs im so pleased with you, what a big boy sleeping in your own bed, wait until i tell nanny, pick up, big cuddle. Dont want to get into the habit of treats everytime he sleeps, otherwise my 13 and 11 year old might start, well i sleep in my own bed and i dont get anything lol!!!!

yeah true praise is just as effective if not more lol

i really am pleased you ,managed to get good night sleep makes the world of difference xx