Should I worry about my 6 year old’s behaviour

[boeballs]

Hello

So my DD I realise is not a difficult child but stuff about her behaviour worries me.

1. She really does not seem affected by what is going on. All I hear from other mums is how their kids really miss their friends and or are sad about the situation. I don’t think my DD gives a crap about whether she sees friends or not. I have to force her to talk to her friends and when I ask if there is anyone she wants to keep in touch with or so hello, she always says no or I don’t know..
2. She does not seem to care if she even has friends or not.. and my own anxiety or worrying she is going to be lonely and friendless is really kicking in.
3. She has absolutely no empathy.. and please don’t tell me no kids at that age do, because again I hear plenty of mums saying how their kid cares about things and people
4. She is really quite mean. When I ask her about whether she think she should be kind to others you can tell she really does not want to answer that she should be.
5. I am also about to get into complete awkwardness of the one friend I really thought she did have she now says that this friend lies and is mean but when I get my DD to explain the situations she does not come across a sympathetic... I.e I just wanted to play with X but Y wanted to join in type excuses.. Her mum and I are really good friends so no idea how I handle that my DD says she no longer wants to speak to her DD.. and I know this sounds wrong but sometimes I have no idea if I should even believe my DD about what she says.. because of generally how she acts..

I joke I am raising a sociopath but sometimes it seems all she cares about is TV and toys.

I would love some advice on how I can better support my 6 year old and maybe encourage empathy and kindness and not be a crap mum which is how I feel all the time. My own behaviour and towards my 6 year old really has to change to but my own anxieties are stopping me seeing the wood for the trees.

So sorry you hear that you are struggling. Can I ask what you mean when you say that your behaviour has to change towards your DD? Can you give sone examples?

Honestly it’s embarrassing.. I become almost childish.. giving her the cold shoulder, trying to guilt her into caring about people or even bribe her into caring! I don’t know why I care so much about her having friends.. and by the way she thinks she has friends and in a way she does like any 6 year old, I just struggle how she does not seemed bothered and then I am like she is 6!!! It’s hard because my other mum friends go on all the time about how their children miss their friends.

I don’t know. I’m no expert but it honestly doesn’t sound that strange to me. She sounds rather like my son a year ago - and he’s like that even now if I’m honest, although I can certainly see signs of a developing empathy and interest in others. He too doesn’t seem particularly bothered by what’s going on, but is now starting to talk about missing friends. I read somewhere that empathy isn’t fully developed until around 9. Guilting her into missing friends is a bit bonkers, though, and says much more about you than her. She will certainly be affected by what’s happening, whether it’s expressed in a way that you find appropriate or not.

Yes I know I am bonkers and yesterday tried really hard to not put my feelings onto her and to be honest had a much better day. It’s all a learning curve!