What is going on?

[KateFleming]

Can someone please help me? The last few weeks my 4 year olds behaviour has been frankly fucking horrendous. He has no respect, blackmails us continually (my fault as I used to do this to reason with him) and his temper tantrums are off the scale, especially at bedtime.
We have been living my with parents for the last few years and are due to get our own place in a few weeks. He knows this, and also knows that he'll be going to a school where he won't know anyone so I don't know if this, alongside the whole lockdown thing is what's causing this. Or if I'm just using all these as an excuse. I know routine has gone out the window so I've been starting to have a bit more structure the past few days but in all honesty it's not made a difference. Lunch and dinner are another battle as well.

Is anyone else's kids like this?

What sort of discipline do you use with him?

I sit down and explain how what he's doing is wrong and that it upsets me and makes me sad, and/or take away any treats/fav toys. I used to use the naught step but he would end up kicking and banging the door to get back into the living room. He always says sorry and promises not to do it again. But then we're back to square one. I hate to say it but we've spoiled him and now he's turned into a brat, we've completely made a rod for our own back and are now getting the backlash for it.
We've told him there will be massive changes when we move into our own place and I know discipline will be easier to enforce as I won't have my parents on his back as well.
Have you any advice? I've done the Solihull training as well but nothing is working. We're at our wits end and it's putting a real strain on my relationship with my parents and husband

Its hard to say as there's nothing that works for every child, but nothing works if you give in. Naughty step has always worked in our family, alongside house rules written out clearly, but you have to be rock solid. No giving in, ever.

House rules is a good idea, thank you! I'm not going to do that just now as we're still
With my parents however it's only 2 weeks until we move so can definitely do it then. Don't want to overwhelm him just now. He doesn't respect me at all and just laughs when I tel him what to do and says he this boss. I need him to learn that's he's not and he needs to respect us and do as he's told when he's told. And not have violent temper tantrums when things don't go his way