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1year old tantrums lasting hours save my sanity

2 replies

Lunafortheloveogod · 09/04/2020 10:35

Ds1 is one, 12 months and a great walker.. doesn’t talk or really bother with anything other than running back n forth when he’s calm.

When he’s not he screams, hysterical crying to the point of jittery gasping, hitting is head into things.. charging like a bloody bull, biting and flailing to get down if you hold him. This lasts anywhere from an hour onward..

My heads splitting listening to him, he doesn’t want a thing or held, he’s exhausted by the end of it but isn’t tired at the start.. and needs physically held down on the couch or floor to actually calm down to sleep. There’s no set he’s going to kick off moment, it can be anything from a program finishing, dad leaving for work, me feeding ds2 or ds2 making a noise or he dropped something that he’s capable of picking back up normally.

What the bloody hell do I do with him? I’ve tried talking to him, not a chance he can hear me, and ignoring him.. neither made a difference. Holding him only works once he’s exhausted and he still needs held down to relax enough. He sleeps from 7-7.30 and still has two naps during the day.. one after the first riot usually or 10ish and another at 2.30/3.

Before lock down he was outside a lot more but wasn’t walking without a walker at toddler group so he’s moving more, we’ve ordered a swing and tried to show him his trike (won’t sit on it) to get him outside, ds2 is one month so isn’t doing much besides feeding which I attempt to time to when ds1 is eating/napping/content with something so he’s not “left out”

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NoMorePoliticsPlease · 09/04/2020 10:40

A tantrum has to be truly ignored to stop them, no holding cajoling talking. If he throws himself on the floor screaming sit down and pick up a book or newspaper, make no eye contact and totally ignore. It is a bid for attention, and any attention rewards the behaviour. If necessary walk awy from him. When he stops and calms down have a cuddle, he will be exhausted. It may initially get worse before it gets better as he ramps up the effort. He needs to learn it has no effect,

JiltedJohnsJulie · 09/04/2020 14:15

Totally agree with NoMore. Anything we ever tried just seemed to feed to tantrum and make it last longer.

12 months is so tiny still and they are usually struggling with not being able to express themselves.

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