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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Night-time Screaming. Losing sleep and my mind! Please Help!!

14 replies

Lesle · 07/10/2004 10:27

Dear all

My DS is 11 months and has always been a great sleeper, going from 7-7 every night since we was 3 months old, until about a month ago when he started screaming in the middle of the night for no apparent reason. At the time it coincided with us leaving him overnight with my parents for the first time but that was a month ago and it is getting worse not better so I can't think it's just that. Nothing has changed in his room and I don't think he's ill or teething as he is completely fine during the day. We started leaving his door a little open and a light on outside which seemed to help for a few nights but now he is screaming more than ever. I can't even tell if he's properly awake or not as sometimes he's not sitting up and it seems like he might be half asleep.

We feel like we have tried everything and last night in desperation for a good night's sleep (for us!) we turned off the monitor but as his room is next to ours we still heard him and he screamed for about 3 hours on and off. In the morning he wakes up his usual sunny self and is completely fine all day - eating well and having good daytime naps, as usual.

Sorry for the long post but I'm starting to get quite worried that there might be something wrong with him, or I'm doing something or not doing something to help. I feel pretty useless at the moment and the lack of sleep isn't helping my rational thought! If anyone can offer any words of advice I would be really grateful.

Thanks for listening
Lesle xxx

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Lowryn · 07/10/2004 13:42

Oh dear, my sympathies! I have this to a lesser extent with my 5mth DS. He has the most blood curdling scream going too!
Do you think that this is night terrors? Not something I know that much about, but maybe you could mention it to your GP or HV?

Easy · 07/10/2004 13:48

Lesle

Try leaving a radio on very quietly in his room, as well as a night light.

See if it helps. I think when the house finally goes completely quiet it seems odd in the dark for tinies. Poor little soul is obviously frightened, if he really is screaming.

Or is he just trying out his voice? If it isn't frightened screaming he may need help learning to settle himself again. Does he have a dummy? is he able to find it in the night?

Just trying helpful suggestions for you

Pidge · 07/10/2004 13:59

Lesle - we went through a similar thing when my dd was 13 months old. Suddenly for no obvious reason she would wake screaming in the night for no apparent reason, having slept through 12 hours from the age of 5.5 months. What a shock to the system. We used to dash in, pick her up and cuddle her and she would immediately flop against us and be very sleepy and then we would put her back down and usually she was then fine. Though a few nights we had several wakings. It did coincide with her moving rooms at her nursery, and I wondered if she was having nightmares. It only lasted a couple of weeks.

We also went through it at 18 months, entirely our own fault. We woke her up at 1am on New Years Day to take her home from a party at a friend's house, when we could have just stayed the night there. And she then woke screaming at 1-2am every night for the next week or 10 days.

Night-time terrors where the baby doesn't actually wake up are quite common at this age. I'm sure other people will have hit this. If he's really not waking it's just terribly distressing for you but he will have no recollection of it.

Original poster

Lesle · 07/10/2004 14:06

Thanks for the posts

It certainly sounds like frightened screaming as it is a pretty desperate sound (designed as parent torture no doubt!) and he is often lying down and tossing and turning when I go in to him and just seems incredibly unhappy :-( which makes me all the more upset that I don't feel like I can help him.

It helped the first few nights we left a light on outside his room but now it's like the effects of that have worn off. Perhaps if he has a light in his room that will work better. Will definitely try the radio as well - that sounds like a really good idea. A little company may be all he needs to reassure him he is not alone.

Will try it tonight and let you know how we get on.

Thanks again
Lesle

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Original poster

Lesle · 07/10/2004 14:11

Thanks Pidge

I wouldn't wish this on anyone but it is reassuring to know that others have/had the same things happen.

As this has gone on for just over a month now I'm a little concerned that we'll slide into him waking out of habit. I feel really torn as to know what to do for the best. If he isn't really awake and he doesn't know I'm there anyway should I just leave him to it??? Or should I be helping him to calm down and get into a proper sleep again?

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Lonelymum · 07/10/2004 14:17

If this were just an occasional thing, I would say it was normal and nothing to worry about, but you make it sound as though this is happening every night. Is that so? If so, I have no experience of this and would feel inclined to check it out with the HV or similar to see if they know anything about it.

Original poster

Lesle · 07/10/2004 19:14

Well, he's all tucked up with a nightlight and Radio 4 quietly chatting away next to him so...fingers crossed that tonight I get to sleep through!

Thank you all for the posts. I was searching the web in desperation for some advice and support this morning and I'm so glad I've found this site. Somehow I feel I shall become a regular visitor over the coming years ;-) I just hope that I can offer the same support and advice to others too.

Lesle xxx

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Lonelymum · 07/10/2004 19:15

Good luck with tonight Lesle. Perhaps you can return to Mumsnet tomorrow and let us know how it has worked?

Flik · 07/10/2004 19:22

This thread is on twice, I've just posted on the other one Lesle and it's too long for me to repeat so take a look if you get chance. Welcome and goodluck.

Original poster

Lesle · 08/10/2004 11:15

Hurrah! We heard a slight murmuring around 4am (think we had woken out of habit!) but basically DS slept the whole night without a hint of a scream for the first time in over a week! Such a relief. I can't tell you - I feel like a different person today. The power of sleep is really quite something.

The only minor downside was that he woke earlier than he used to - 6.15am instead of 7am but frankly that seems like a very small price to pay not to have the trauma of listening to your little one scream for 3 hours.

The other thing is that in a desperate attempt I did try lots of things at once - ie loads of quiet cuddle time before and after his bath, the nightlight and the radio - so I don't know whether it was one thing or the whole combination that worked. But frankly, who cares? ;-)

Am trying not to get too excited as it is only one night but...

Thanks for all the tips and support.

Yours wide awake!
Lesle xxx

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happyspider · 11/10/2004 20:33

Hi Lesle
so, how is it going? Has your little one settled now?

My DS was a very good sleeper too until a couple of months ago, he now keeps waking up at 3 or 4 am crying, without any reason.

He doesn't scream, he just cries, but still I am feeling really tired and long for a whole night sleep.

Wondering if the things you have tried are still working???

Original poster

Lesle · 12/10/2004 12:42

Hi Happy Spider

We've had quite a mixed week but in general things seem to be improving. We haven't had a totally scream free night but on a couple of times it's just been for a few minutes in the evening and nothing in the night.

The thing that happened when he calmed down in the night was that he started waking earlier in the morning! But this morning he woke at 6am and I left him a few minutes and he went back 'til 7.20am. So we remain optimistic that all is not lost and our good sleeper will return.

TBH I'm not entirely sure what's helping but the main things seem to be the radio and that we make sure there is nothing in his room that can cause a shadow; e.g. making sure his cupboard door is shut and that there are no bags hanging on the back of his door.

I do think the radio has made a big difference. We have it on Radio 4 (which becomes the world service through the night) at just loud enough to hear and I think it is quite comforting but not disturbing as it is mainly talking.

How old is your DS?

You have all my sympathies. It's such a shock to the system when you've been used to undisturbed sleep, isn't it? Good luck with yours.

Lesle xxx

OP posts:

Easy · 12/10/2004 12:49

Lesle

Glad things have improved. The radio thing worked with mine when he was quite tiny. We used to leave it on Radio 2, but since then (5 years ago) they play much more raucous stuff on Night time Radio 2.

Is he waking because Radio 4 plays some music when it starts at 5:30 a.m? Or it may just be because he's ready. Will he settle back then anyway.

Hope this continues to get better

Original poster

Lesle · 12/10/2004 13:30

Hi Easy

I think he started to wake early as he was more rested than on the nights when he'd screamed for 3 hours!! This morning he did settle back down so hopefully his body clock is getting over that and returning to a 7amish wake up. I can but hope!

My new problem is that he's started waking early and unhappily from his lunchtime nap - there's always something, isn't there? But I'm going to cut down on his morning nap and see if that will help.

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