Spoilt behaviour

[fattymummy2014]

Hi all.

My 5 year old (girl) has recently started to act spoilt. SHe does not value things and sees things as easy come, easy go.

Today, she was playing hide and seek with her brother (4 years old) and pulled off a number of her fancy dress items from her wardrobe. I happened to say an off the cuff remark about how if they were on the floor then she mustn't want them and they can be given away. To which she replied "ok then, give them away to someone, they're old anyway". She nearly broke my heart saying it. I saved for quite a while for the items - all Disney princess dresses, including both new Elsa and Anna dresses which I got for Xmas.

I know that I should follow through as backing down would mean that she knows that I 'don't mean business'. But really there's about £60 worth of fancy dress!

I happened to say an off the cuff remark about how if they were on the floor then she mustn't want them and they can be given away.

I'm interested to know why you said this to her OP. She was in the middle of playing with her brother. Could the tidying up have happened later, say before tea?

Is keeping the home tidy a big deal for you, does it for instance come affect your decisions on what they are allowed to do and play?

Just calmly, or ideally at a time when she is not in her room, remove them and store away ( eg in a bag in a rarely accessed cupboard/place).
Would use a time when you are alone to discuss again, calmly, how fortunate you all are to have a home with lovely things - say that why you were shocked that her dresses were on the floor. Explain that you have put them away for a while and you will decide together what the best thing to do is....

At 5, your daughter is very young to be given the responsibility of caring for 'nice things'. It's you who is getting upset about dresses,not her. She sounds normal enough for her age.

Was it so bad that some dresses bought for play ended up on the floor during a game? What you said was really quite harsh and imo her response reflected that. What she was basically saying here was "I can't handle these random rules, I want the stress to go away".

What exactly are the rules about how she can play with dressing-up clothes? Do you expect her to treat them like ordinary clothes and not as toys? If so, that must curtail imaginary play quite a bit.

If you need rules about toys, then I would make them positive ones. Think about what kind of play these dresses might be part of and suggest ways in which she can keep them safe that fits into the game.

It's also about modelling how you handle stressful situations. If your own first response is a very dramatic reaction, then that is what she will take up and use for herself when things don't go her way.