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Have you seen this woman? = Aletha Jauch Solter - Aware Baby?

1 reply

jellipidy · 11/09/2007 22:53

Hi everyone - has anyone read this book? Just wondering if you have, what comments you have about it - it appears to me that it makes sense but is really hard to put into practice

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Lazycow · 12/09/2007 11:34

I read this book when ds was quite small
I think a lot of people may have some issues around her views on breastfeeding but I do think some of her stuff is useful to bear in mind.

Ds cried a lot as a baby and this approach did help me deal with it (sometimes).

I have found the ethos particularly useful in dealing with ds's tantrums (he seems to be having less of them nowadays). I usually take him into a room (if I can, shut the door and stay with ds trying to be sympathetic and assuring him that I love him and that I can see he is angry at the moment etc.

I do stop him from hitting me (if I can) and I don't let him have what he is asking for. In fact I have noticed that a lot of tantrums with ds are not about having things anyway.

e.g

Me 'Time for your bedtime story'
DS ' Don't want story'
Me 'Ok, well then it's bedtime without a story'
DS ' WANT STORY'
Me ' Alright - which one'
DS 'You choose'
Me - choose a story
DS' don't want that one !!!'
Me ' Then you choose'
Ds 'Can't choose you choose'
Me - Choose a story
Ds 'Don't want that one!!! wahhhh'

Repeated a few times with ds throwing books for good measure a few times.

At this point it becomes clear that ds is looking for a boundary and wants to bash against it. So I say something like 'OK no story then it's time for bed' This will often result in a tantrum about wanting a story/drink - whatever I've refused.

What this book did was help me see the tantrum in a differnt light. I can see that in these situation ds is desperate for an opportunity to scream and rant. I find looking at it like this makes me much calmer and I generally find his (often spectacular) tantrums quite easy to deal with actually.

He also often falls asleep after a tantrum and often wakes up calmer and a much easier child to deal with for a day or so afterwards so her poiints about that seem quite valid a lot of the time.

I am particularly lucky that ds seems to have most of his tantrums at home

Like all these books though I don't agree with everything she says and I just take the bits that fit with my ethos anyway,

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