She can't just be a miserable baby can she? (8 wks old) - sorry long post

[Lisa229]

By miserable (doctors words), I mean crying all the time. Ruth is 8 weeks ago and apart from the first 2 weeks (when she just slept and fed), whenever she is awake in the day and not feeding, she is crying 99% of the time. I really think there is something not agreeing with her but I can't put my finger on it.

She is ff (approx 7am, 10am, 2pm, split feed at 5pm and 6.30pm, then in the night somewhere between 10pm-12am and then again at 3am). Roughly 3-4oz each time in the day and 2-3 oz each time in night. Weeks 3-7, she did seem to have terrible wind so we tried colief (which did work but gave her really explosive runny poos so we have stopped), cranial ostepathy (even 1 session seemed to help) and now just giving gripe water and the burps seem to come up really well so I don't think it is colic/wind. When she has her milk, at some of the feeds but not all, she is on and off like a yoyo, sometimes holds her breath, cries between drinking the milk, arches her back and it can take a good hour to feed her. She doesn't vomit though. And she is not particularly up all night crying, its generally in the day.

Am I just being paranoid and need to face the fact that I have a baby that cries more than usual and it will get better. I thought it might be slient reflux but she doesn't have all the sypmtoms. I think the doctor thinks I'm worrying about nothing as she is gaining weight and is on the 91st centile but I just feel in my heart that something is not right but don't kno how to solve it. You lay her on the mat, she cries, in her bouncy chair she cries, in the swing she cries and sometimes even holding her doesn't console her.

Also doesn't like sleeping in her cot in the day, but thats probably another story.

Thanks is you have got this far and I hope someone can help.

Lisa

My ds1 was like this 'til he was 8 1/2 months and was HARD work. Then suddenly became all smiley- lovely and I felt like falling to the floor with relief. It really had a massive impact on me - even just taking him out anywhere because I couldn't talk to anyone because he demanded literally all my attention (was a very lonely time). A sling helped sometimes and walking with him in the pushchair too (walked miles). Otherwise I just used to leave him in a safe place to go have a shower and get 10 minutes break and I'd leave him in creche twice a week at the local gym for an hour just to give myself time to get my head straight. Through all this I became totally paranoid about being utterly consistent with how I handled him / what I did with him (and others). To this day routine is hugely important in how happy he is.
I cross my fingers it passes for you too and you find a few tricks.

That sounds exactly like my dd.... she was seen my 3 gps who said there was nothing wrong with her until a very wise HV suggested silent reflux.

We got her onto infant Gaviscon and like other posters have said, she became a totally different baby.

It is extremely distressing being in this situation, you have all my sympathy.

Please try to talk to someone about reflux, it really sounds like that is what the problem is.

Thanks for the new messages of support. This afternoon we started her on Apitmil easy digest and no 2 teats but she was still crying except when she was asleep. Didn't settle as well tonight either. Will give it a few more days.

It has been really hard seeing her like this and not being able to comfort her. I also have a 3 yr old and really feel I have neglected her because all so much of my time has been spent feeding, burping, comforting Ruth. I think that is why Lily has been playing up a lot more - to get attention and why I just feel so exhausted all the time. I really haven't enjoyed the time with Ruth and i feel really guilty about that.

Thanks again

my dd2 who is 16 weeks was like this up until a few weeks ago. She was diagnosed with reflux and put on a course of infant gaviscon which has made a difference!!

My hv hadn't spotted it and told me to wean her early which I did.. stupidly and the problems got a little worse. So I took her to the doctors in the end

I started a thread about reflux in the parenting section last week and got some very good replies. I dont know how to link it though sorry!

She seems happier now though although she is turned into a screecher which is another issue!

Sorry if I'm repeating anything, but I noticed in your op that your dd doesn't sleep well during the day and it may well be that that isn't helping her to settle, ime. DS2 was completely miserable for the 1st few months and some of it was refluxy/colicky, but the fact that he wasn't napping well/at all really didn't help matters. I took to lying down with him in our bed and bfing to sleep (I realise that you can't do this, but perhaps if dd feeds to sleep you could still try this?). Once ds2 was sleeping more in the day he completely changed and while still quite tricky, he's a lovely smily wee thing and only really cries when he's not getting his own way!

hth

That sounds quite a lot like silent reflux to me (although I am not a medical professional! - but ds had severe silent reflux). It is apparently more common in early babies, ds was premature and most of the babies in SCBU were on gaviscon. I don't think the baby has to have every symptom on the list to be suffering. I agree with everything on SittingBull's list, especially the SLING!! Can you go back to the GP?

Sorry to hear you're having such a nightmare If infant Gaviscon doesn't improve the situation have you considered changing from a milk based formula to a soya or alternative base ( Wysoy can be bought in most supermarkets or nutamigen) to see if this improves the situation. ( Wysoy is not recommended long term but if it does improve your GP should be able to recommend or even provide a prescription for an alternative.

This brings back memories of my experienec with my dd after she was born. Fine for 2 weeks just sleep and feed then non stop screaming thereafter.

it was a horrible lonely bewildering time. Nothing prepaers you for it. I would re-iterate all Sittingbulls tips, esp the sling.

Drs and Hvs can be so crap with their grow out of it advice especially when you know somethings wrong. I also to dd to Chropractor in deparation after seeing an ad in the NCT magazine. This seemed to help although wehther it was the natural passing of time or me being more positive that someone was actually doing something I just don't know. I was willing to try almost anything and I researched it fully before I took her, however I ended up a lot poorer! The theory was that because I had a stressful labour and a ventoux birth her spine was misaligned hence the probs.

Google "British Chiropractic Association" if you want to find out more, I did a lit search and didn't find anything that said it was dangerous just that it might work as well or better than meds.

It's up to you though wishing you and your babe all the best.

xx

Your post all rings bells for me too.

DS was fine but DD a nightmare and because we had already gone through the whole baby thing before we knew something was up but couldn't get anyone to listen HV and GP both insisted that it was completely normal for DD to:-

• Cry and cry and cry and arch back in pain when crying
• Have 'solid' stomach - 24/7 - never relaxed her stomach muscles at all
• Fart with veracity and odour that could clear a room in seconds
• Explode the most foul-smelling poo I have ever seen/smelty (imagine 'teething' poo and multiply 20 times)
• never sleep for more than an hour and then wake whimpering

We argued and argued that we thought DD might have reflux or something but they didn't want to know so we gave up on HV and GP eventually and went down a route which included osteo (good, but temporary respite), reflexology (yes, I know it was a long shot, but was friends with the therapist..no effect), an amby baby hammock instead of a cot (fabulous, fabulous), infacol/colief etc (no difference), some powder pro-biotic stuff I saw recommended on Mumsnet (no difference), C&G comfort (no difference). Eventually one doctor friend suggested that it wouldn't harm DD in any way to try soya formula for a week ( Transformational - from miserable baby to smiles and sleep almost overnight).

Turned out our DD was lactose intolerant. We had her on pure soya formula until 6 months then slowly weaned her from that onto C&G comfort which took a few weeks but worked eventually. We are now in the process at 12 months of trying to wean her from this to normal step-up milk and then hopefully straight cows milk after that, though we are lucky that these days we can get lactose-free fresh cows milk in Tescos. All through this we have kept up with normal baby yogurts/fromage frais & cheese and she has tolerated these fine.

If I was doing it all again I would probably go for LF-milk form Boots rather than soya as a first option (at the time I wasn't aware you cold get LF milk without prescription).

Hi all

Thanks for the further messages. We started the easy digest aptimil yesterday and she seem to sleep well last night and was easy to settle - feed at 6.30pm, next feed 12.30am, then 3.40am and then up for the day at 6.45am. She also this morning was really content to sit in her chair for the first time ever. I also went to the doctor ad he perscribed the infant gaviscon so I started on this this afternoon. Will see if there is a difference in the next few days. Things= is the easy digest milk is thicker and by adding the gaviscon, the milk is thicker still to the point where it took 1 hr 20mins for her to drink 4oz. I had already just changed to teat no 2. Should I go back to the original apitimil and add the gaviscon or preserve with the changed milk and gaviscon?

Sittingbull thanks for all your help. We didn't put the gaviscon in the night feeds and she wasn't very settled and woke at 5.30am after half an hour sleep in pain. Will try mixing the gaviscon with water and syringing to see if this is any better.

If you decide to give the gaviscon seperately, you can make up a batch in advance and keep it in the fridge for 24 hours (as advised by our SCBU). Bit easier than doing it fresh every time.

Have you tried putting books under the legs of her cot/moses basket so that she is sleeping on a slant? Could make it more comfy for her as it's harder for the milk to come back up.

Forgot to say in my last post that ds, who was on three medications for silent reflux, put on weight brilliantly and went charging up the centiles - so weight gain doesn't mean nothing is wrong.

lisa - just to add to the messages to let you know you are not alone...mine was like this too. he's now ridiculously happy but incredibly boisterous. he started improving at about 4 mths, but before then i found him really, really difficult. i couldn't believe babies were like this. he wouldn't be put down for a minute, hated his buggy, hated his carseat, hated his moses basket. he just wanted to be next to me and even that made him only a bit less cross.
but anyway, we battled through it and now he LOVES going in his buggy, is fine in his cot. some people told me i should be stricter with him and put him down more but i now know we did the right thing for him by giving him all the cuddles and comfort he demanded.
my boy improved mightily with mobility...once he could crawl (at about 6 mths)he was a little star. we also got serious about naps cos he needs a lot of sleep, partly cos he's so active, but that helped too.
so, no new advice, just the usual love them as much as you can AND get some space to yourself so you don't go crazy, trust your instincts, and remember it will pass.
best of luck.xx

Hi Lisa

I am late on responding to this sorry

I use aptmil and Dr Browns and have tried CO!

After CO she was much better...

However..... I had to switch to the Aptmil Hungry Baby as she started feeding every hour (only way to settle her)....

I think someone else has suggested Dr Harvey Karps book the happiest baby on the block? It has worked a treat for me... I found the HV quick to say any unsettledness was Colic which is said about every baby that crys a bit eye roll

Re Dr Browns bottles I have had to return 4 bottles out of the 8 I have as the teats keep getting blocked which means dd gets frustrating and worse....anyway the blocking I thought initially that the blocking was due to switching to hungry baby but even with level 2 teats same issue....the issue is the teats get blocked with some kind of silcone stringy thing...anyway if you pull it out and leave it, it goes hard, but when pulling out it is like string .

Boots have been really helpful they have sent the sample bottles back to the supplier who have sent them back to the manufacturer....anyway check your bottles aren't blocking n causing this additional frustration for lo.... I'm the only customer that has complained of this i bought some in Swindon (where my mum lives) and some in Essex (where I live) so I am open jury at the moment....

the other thing is you can't spoil a young baby my dd is 14 weeks old tomorrow and until her 2nd set of jabs was sleeping through the night following Dr Harvey Karps suggestions and I was able to settle her much quicker than before and get more relaxed as I got better at it! iykwim?

Hi again

Well, she has been on gaviscon for 2 days and I don't think it has made much difference, should I presevere or should I have seen a change by now? I saw on another message about relfux that if it is silent reflux than gaviscon won't work because it stops them vomiting whereas Ruth isn't vomiting?

I am just so confused as to what to do for the best. Mum thought she was just playing me up because we were out today and she basically just fed and slept and so mum said if she can do that then how can she windy/colicky/refluxy? But I put it down to the motion of the car / pram? However she did also stay overnight and was with us for 24hrs so saw Ruth in an average day and said something was unsettling her.

She has become a nightmare in the day sleepwise, 10mins here and there and waking herself up crying and then only settling when being held or with a dummy. And also last night, not settling after 3am feed until about 5.30am. Can someone tell me what Dr Karp recommends and is it too late to start doing it at 9 wks, for example swaddling? I feel so inadequate and that I am doing all the wrong things like bringing her in with us at 5am when she doesn't settle....

Should I go back to the GP and insist on being referred to a paedatrican so they can do a reflux test? Or ask for different drugs or is that going to do Ruth more harm? Can I try giving lactose free milk to see if it is an allergy without having an allergy test? I have an appointment for her at the ostepath on Monday as well. I just don't know which way to turn and feel like I am bombarding Ruth with all these things, have been in tears several times today. Mum keeps telling me to relax otherwise Ruth will sense it but its not easy to is it when your baby is crying what feels like all the time?

If you have got this far, thanks and any advice would be very much appreciated.

Just wanted to reiterate other messages.

I have no experience of silent reflux/lactose intolerance myself but my friend did. Our DS's were born a month apart but were so different - her DS was constantly crying, arching his back, wouldn't settle/sleep but still put on weight well and was never sick. This went on for about 4 months and she was embarrassed to take him out because of his constant crying etc - she always made excuses to not come out, or would prefer to come out without the babies etc. When my DS was about 4 months old, her and her DH looked after him for a few hours and they were amazed that a baby could actually be happy, content and easy to look after as they had never had that experience.

After 4 months of being fobbed off (colic, bad wind, grow out of it etc) he was eventually diagnosed (I think the doctors started to take it seriously when he stopped putting on weight) with silent reflux and, more importantly, lactose intolerance - from the day they changed to soya formula, he was a completely different baby - very content, happy etc. Even now, he is 13 months, and my friend can tell if he has had a milk product by accident as he reverts back to the old grumpiness.

Hope this helps.

Thanks sittingbull.

We had decided on a similar plan of action to the one you suggested so am going to see the gp tomorrow. Will let you know what happens.

Sounds a lot like your baby has a food intolerance. All the other symptoms could be a number of things but combined with a snuffly nose and cradle cap they scream dairy intolerance to me.

Many people don't know this but reflux is often intolerance/allergy related.

Good luck and much sympathy.

Get a cherry teat dummy if you are going to use one IMO.

Put a folded towel under the mattress of the cot/moses basket.

I changed from Aptimil to Farleys, it seems a lot lighter.

Keep on with the colief/infacol, just in case.

Swaddle.

No other advice but DD 8 months now was exactly the same and improved rapidly after I did this stuff.

I do hope this helps. At least you know it's probably not silent reflux as the Gaviscon didn't help. Heartburn can be awful.