Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Flip

Original poster

Starting Nursery school traumas

9 replies

Mumkey · 08/09/2002 13:46

My 3.4 year old son started at nursery school last week, and waved me happily goodbye on the 1st day (to my huge relief)! Unfortunately on day two he had to be pulled sceaming from my arms while begging me not to go. He did the same thing the second time I left him at playgroup, but did eventually settle and was happy to wave me goodbye each time. I know that he will probably get used to this new routine soon enough, but I feel my heart is being torn out when I have to leave him so upset. 3 still seems awfully young to be starting them of on their education, and part of me just wants to take him home with me! (What a wimp!)I know I'm being absolutely pathetic, but it might make me feel better if any fellow wimps can tell me their experiences, especially if there's a happy ending!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

WideWebWitch · 08/09/2002 14:35

Hi Mumkey, my ds started at playgroup/pre-school at 3 too (5 mornings x 2.5 hours each session). I wasn't allowed to leave him until he actually turned 3 and so we went for a couple of weeks before and I stayed with him for the session. The day after his 3rd birthday (oooh, I was keen for 2 1/2 hours to myself!) I told him that he'd be staying on his own today and I'd be back later. He was slightly upset but was fine once I'd gone.

What do the nursery staff say about how your ds is once you've left? What worked for me was saying goodbye very firmly and cheerfully. It seemed to calm him a bit seeing my happiness and confidence that he would be ok. And so he was! He attended that playgroup for nearly 2 years and would usually go in without a backward glance. Sometimes he'd even run off in front of me to get there first and not want me to come in (the staff sometimes asked him: did you come on your own today then??!! - I wasn't that far behind but it did look like he was alone sometimes when he knocked on the door!) I know it seems young but at his age they are there to play as much as anything - if they are learning something they probably aren't even aware of it. This should be the case at most good pre-schools/nurseries anyway.

So, there's my experience and the happy ending - hope it's helpful!

lucyk · 08/09/2002 15:07

my little boy was just 3 when started nursery as a aug baby. he was fine at first but i
noticed he didn't want to be left after holidays. i think you should stick with it as when he starts school hopefully he will be fine to be left. at our nursery they asked for
helpers in the library which i did and you can actually see how they are getting on once all
the parents have left. does your nusery do anything like this?

Original poster

Mumkey · 09/09/2002 14:21

Thank you both for your advice and encouragement. Today, despite saying he didn't want to go, he didn't cry when I left. I could tell he was feeling very uncertain, but I remained impossibly bright and cheerful as I waved goodbye and it seemed to help! Let's hope it continues and who knows before long he might be running in ahead of me too!

OP posts:

Empress · 15/09/2002 19:20

Ooh just read all these -it's our turn this week, dd (just 4) starts at 'school' (nursery school). she's been at ft nursery for 3.5 yrs, so i'm sure she'll be fine eventually but it's a big step, & a big change in our lives - i'm sure we'll both be a bit wobbly at first!! On the plus side I think she's ready, & the short school day already feels like a holiday in comparison to getting out of the house by 7.45 every morning to get to nursery / work! If she can adjust her sleeping pattern we might even all get our first lie-ins in 4 yrs! Steeling ourselves for The Big Day...

babster · 15/09/2002 20:29

It was our turn last week when dd (2.6 yrs) started nursery). I stayed for the whole morning, but it felt so alien and unlike the mother and toddler groups we have attended... lots of standing in line, stand up/sit down, and at snack time they only offered cups when dd is used to a beaker and thought it was a pouring game... I think I found it more stressful than she did. I'm not sure how many sessions I should stay for before letting her fly solo... any advice?

WideWebWitch · 15/09/2002 21:10

babster as long as it takes for you both to feel comfortable I'd say. Once she seems happy and used to the place then I'd give it a go. Are all the other parents there? If not after a couple of weeks (might be less, you know how confident/independent your child is) I'd try explaining that all the other mummies have to go and you do too but that you won't be long. Good luck.

deegward · 15/09/2002 21:17

My little 2.5 yr old started preschool this week, an like the hearless mother I appear to be I left him after 1/2 an hour on the first day,m and after 15mins on second day.

He settled in and although has cried both days when I have left, within 2-3 mins was quite happy. He is only doing two mornings a week, but those 3 hours are really strange to get used to being on my own

sobernow · 16/09/2002 18:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

babster · 16/09/2002 19:08

Wow! Today I left dd after 20 mins... lurked in the room next door for another 20, realised she wasn't at all bothered and went home! By the number of paintings I was presented with when I collected her, I think she enjoyed her time too. Thanks www for your advice (my next posting will be, how do I stop being so neurotic )

Flip