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Toddler reacting to baby - please help!

2 replies

Banana0pancakes · 20/03/2020 08:55

I'm sorry to post something that's quite trivial with everything that's going on in the world at the minute but if anyone has experience or advice please help because I don't know how to overcome this.

I have a 23mo dd. She has no speech yet but good understanding. She is under review by paed for asd. I pushed for this as we had no clapping, waving, pointing or speech at 18mo. Since then we have had all of these begin to emerge except speech but I do still think she could be autistic with the lack of social referencing and I have to encourage eye contact. I don't think this is entirely relevant but could be.

Ds is 9mo and LOVES blowing raspberries. EVERYTIME he does this dd goes off on one. If she's playing with a toy she will run over to him and hit him on the head with it while crying.
If she is with me playing she will hit me.
If she's in her high chair she will throw herself around in it crying. She hates the sound with a passion.

I tell her firmly everytime, no hitting. She will then drop to the floor and bang her head repeatedly off of it. It's horrible to see and she's obviously frustrated.

I've tried ignoring the head banging, asking her to stop and physically preventing it.
It's getting to the point where I think she is either going to really hurt him or herself.
I'm a single parent too, our home is open plan, but if I'm doing the dishes etc I'm just terrified she's going to clobber him and I won't get there in time.

Anyone help?

OP posts:
JiltedJohnsJulie · 21/03/2020 09:59

That sounds so, so difficult and it sounds as if you are doing everything right.

I haven’t got any ideas on stopping her from hurting herself but if you are worried about her hurting him whilst your back is turned, could you put him in his high chair or a playpen when you wash up?

FishingPaws · 21/03/2020 11:39

ASD often has sensory issues as a factor, however, auditory issues don't necessarily infer ASD. Misophonia or hyperacusis could both explain her reaction and it's not uncommon for toddlers to have very sensitive hearing that they eventually outgrow. She's not yet 2 so she's nowhere close to being able to tolerate the kind of distress or pain that this could be causing, certainly not without reacting!

All you can really do is keep the baby safe (high chair/playpen/etc) and try to prevent your DD hurting herself.

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