When do the difficult phases end?!

[Kirsty001]

My nearly 19 month old has been having a difficult time ever since I went back to work when she turned one. Everyone I speak to says they love this age the most but it feels like there are continuous problems we cant shift. She goes to nursery once a week (and grandparents twice a week) and for the first 5 weeks she cried but then went about a month of not crying when I dropped her off. At that point though she started to dislike everything in her swimming lessons and clung to me for most of her lesson, this she hasnt really totally recovered from although there has been some slight improvement. She has had coughs, colds and conjunctivitis pretty much continuously since she started nursery and at about 15 months she started crying again during drop offs and hasnt stopped since. On top of that from around 17.5 months she entered the 'sleep regression' phase and is still becoming distraught every bedtime. I feel like she was really confident and happy before but now when I take her to any classes she just sits on my lap and mostly just watches the other children. Is this all part of separation anxiety or does it seem to be going on too long for that? I just want to help her to be confident and happy so that she has fun, and some better sleep wouldnt go a miss!

I have to say I found 12 months to about 2.5 really quite unenjoyable and very hard work. Some of it is them being toddlers and doing what toddlers do, and you just find ways to get through it. Oh, and celebrate any little “wins” to remind you it’s not actually all bad, even though it feels so much like it is when you’re doing it day in, day out.
Something that stood out to me massively though is your comment that she seems to have lost confidence and is sitting on your lap at groups etc. This might seem so random, and I’m very sorry if I’m on the wrong track, but how do you think her hearing is? With all the germs she has picked up this winter, could there be a chance her ears are congested? I noticed similar behaviour with my DD around 18/20 months. She went from being really feisty and loving interacting with others, to really shy and clingy in group situations. Didn’t realise why at first and assumed separation anxiety, but as time went on I realised her speech was very poor compared to her peers (I know, I know, you shouldn’t compare!) and when I paid more attention, I’d realised she stopped responding to certain noises - ie dads key in the lock/the door opening - daddy would walk in and it would make her jump and she would sob. There are other examples I could give but won’t bore you! Referred her to audiology for a hearing test and she has glue ear in both ears and quite substantial hearing loss. Realised she struggled massively in groups and with toddlers as she simply couldnt hear them and got anxious and clingy to me to seal reassurance.
Like I say; I’m probably waffling and it’s irrelevant, but thought I’d share on the off chance it helps.
Oh and DD is 3.3 now, and mainly wonderful. Which I’d never have believed If you’d told me 18 months ago! So it can get better.
Keep smiling; you’re doing a fab job xxx