how to help a child to play games / learn to lose ?

[tomps]

Has anyone else had this problem of a child (dd aged 6) who can not bear to lose a game ? So much so that she will have a strop during the game and stop playing if it looks like she might not win. I find it infuriating as I'm sure the only way for her to learn to lose is to play and lose and see that it's not that bad; but we can never even get that far ! When we play something and I win I say that although I lost I really enjoyed playing with her. But I have no idea how to help her to play without stropping. Any tips ?

my DH is 40 and still hates to lose and wont let the kids win!!!

My 3 year old is the same, has a strop if he doesnt win. My 13 year old and 11 year old have almost grown out of it.

I think your doing the right thing, when you loss, just carry on telling her you had fun even though you lost.

Perhaps state at the start of the game, you wont play if she is going to get a strop and if she does put the game away.

yes that's a good idea, I could be clearer about my expectations. I'm sure dd rarely actually asks to play a game, so maybe I should just leave it until she wants to ? Do some people just have a problem with competition ? I always enjoyed playing card games etc with family, don't remember losing ever being an issue.

My ds (just 6) is exactly the same and really really plays to win. He is getting better and we have stopped bigging up the winner, we just shake hands and say 'congratulations well done' in a really matter of fact voice. He does just about manage it but he aint happy.

It is hard cos it can completely ruin a really nice bit of playing and you just end up thinking why do I bother.

how about some games where there is not an obvious 'winner' or a 'loser'.

Charades for example or we play a game not quite sure what its called, where you put a sticker on one persons forehead with the name of a famous person on it and they have to try and guess who they are by asking the other people questions to which they can only reply yes or no. For example am i a man, yes or no, am i in films etc, etc.

The yes/no game you have to read questions from a card and the person has to answer you without saying yes or no. For example did you brush your teeth this morning and your not allowed to answer yes or no.

Another game, cant think of the name of it and ive lost the box! where you have a card with a word on it and everyone has to try and guess the word. On the card is a list of words you are not allowed to mention to describe the word.

We always end up rolling around laughing.

Not suitable for my 3 year old, but i guess they would be ok for a 6 year old, im sure you could bend the rules to make it slightly easier if needed.